i am the kinda guy that does not follow the crowd. if it is popular, i tend to stay away from it, just because of its popularity. after all, who wants to be a sheep all the time.
kinda like that with Christmas celebration. i hear people who talk about christmas and what it has become. truth is, it has not become anything different than it has been for years. we just see it now...finally.
today, Sheri and i go to the local pharmacy for refills and such. standing there looking out the window, a man walks up. "30 years. that is how long my wife and i have been together. 2 kids grown, moved out and we have no decorations up. thinking about buying this Charlie brown tree, just to have some sense of holiday spirit."
me too, i respond. 27 years for me, both kids out and gone.
"conrats", he says..."so you made it too!" all this as he takes a small tree off the shelf and knocks down a display. Merry Christmas he says.
yea, i guess i have. made it.we are celebrating by chillin, eating, and laughing.
later, we pulled into K-Mart and while i am pulling into the parking lot, this older lady curses me. She is in the wrong. she cut me off. i sat there...smiled.
yea, we made it.
the meaning of christmas has been the debate of the masses for years. for me, a long time it was about regaining the thoughts of innocence of childhood, the wonder and magic of santa and gifts.
when kids came along, it became about creating that for them. when they had kids, the same thing.
now that we are here, and not with the kids or grandkids, it seems i am forced to deal with reality. and reality is that with the occasional dose of spirituality, most of my Christmases have been about what i can get, what i can give, and mostly being with those who i love. and for the life of me, that does not feel wrong.
Jesus never told us to remember his birth. but the birth of a baby like Jesus calls for celebration and remembrance.
so. i remember his birth, and remember it was because we are stained with sin (from David Ashcraft) that he was born, and it was the removing of that stain that he died.
from my family to yours, enjoy the celebration of the birth of Christ. but remember he grew up, and told us to remember his death.
12.21.2008
Celebrating the Winter Solstice...Pagan Style
had a lot of plans for the holidays. planned on takin this trip through Florida...seeing kids, grandkids, family and friends. it was a good plan.
certain things were going to get accomplished. reconnecting was to happen, and we would finish up in Gatlinburg TN, speaking to a group of kids about the "Warrior Lifestyle." it was a great plan.
last min stuff happened, reality set in, and what seemed like a great plan all went the way of the flush.
now, for the first time in 26 years, my bride and i will spend the holidays together, away from all family. no decorations up (well, we do got a candle and a mini stocking with a candy cane in it), no tree, no family...immediate any way. what we do realize is plans seldom seem to go as i want, never have actually. while we miss the kids and grandkids, we are enjoying our time together. and while family may be far away, we have friends we are learning to love and enjoy our time with.
the days are shorter, and the weather is colder. it snows here...3 times so far. the traffic is ridiculous, and regardless of where you live, people are idiots when they drive. some lady tried to flip me off yesterday, but i think her niceness would not let her. she gave me 2 fingers rather than 1. prolly means a lot worse as well.
so rather than get christmas sappy, rather than remind everyone the world is getting worse and worse, rather than blame our president elect for the coming apocalypse, rather than complain about what holiday greeting to use, rather than fall in line with the goose steppin right wingers, rather than throw stones at prop 8 haters, rather than put statues of the manger scene up, rather than turn a celebration of love into a scream fest...
from my family, to yours...
"screw it, let's ride!"
11.09.2008
last night...i worshiped.
so, in the midst of this life, i have been allowed audience in the throne room of our great God. there has been many with me at times, others only a few. but have been blessed to have been there.
last night, we gathered with about 2000 of my closest friends. we sang songs of great love, of great salvation, of great mercy, of great faith, of great healing...of his greatness. we sang we worshiped, we raised our hands and pledged our undying love and allegiance to Him.
it was simply...amazing.
for a brief moment, there was no idle chat about difficulty, about politics, about pain, about economic woes, about foreclosures, about jobs...the aroma of worship filled the room. as best i could, in my own backwoods way, i flung myself on the altar and sked him to accept my boold drenched sacrifice. i would not leave untill there was acceptance and i was consumed. there was no disapointment.
worship spilled out into a restaurant as we were invited spur of the moment to dine with some friends as a birthday was celebrated. friends talking, laughing, enjoying who we are.
it is on my mind this morning as i hear of difficulty in yet another church setting. pain is rampant, people unsettled and confused, families hurting and the once clear path of the future is now filled with haze and uncertainty.
i know what it feels like to be tossed aside, left outside the party, not part of the group, outsider, sinner, thief, addict, liar. when i was these things, it was expected to feel pain, rejection and fear.
i also know what it feel like to be inside, and still not part, treated as typical, told you are not what we need, although your gifts are good for a particular kind of people...on the team but not suited up to participate, in the room with the varsity, and yet knowing i was JV.
through all these life situations i have learned to comfortable in my own skin. could care less about what i do not have, or who i don't know, or know for that matter. i rub people the wrong way, like a rusted piece of metal brushing up the skin. it may cut you, annoy you, but prolly wont kill you. just enough displeasure to know that it is there.
all this is said to get to this...through all the life changes, disappointments, growth opportunities, and failures...one thing has remained steadfast and immovable in my life. Him. Jesus. and through all that junk, even now, worship is that place where i lose myself.
just for a glimpse...a glance, a touch of that garment that seems so elusive.
i will not settle for anything less.
not sure what you did last night. if you had discussions over the ramifications of your political stance, or if you waded deep into the fear of financial loss, or if you wept over hunger in the world, or if there was little thought or opportunity to involved. either way, you, me, us...we all occupied our time with something. trivial or full of impact.
me? last night...i worshiped.
last night, we gathered with about 2000 of my closest friends. we sang songs of great love, of great salvation, of great mercy, of great faith, of great healing...of his greatness. we sang we worshiped, we raised our hands and pledged our undying love and allegiance to Him.
it was simply...amazing.
for a brief moment, there was no idle chat about difficulty, about politics, about pain, about economic woes, about foreclosures, about jobs...the aroma of worship filled the room. as best i could, in my own backwoods way, i flung myself on the altar and sked him to accept my boold drenched sacrifice. i would not leave untill there was acceptance and i was consumed. there was no disapointment.
worship spilled out into a restaurant as we were invited spur of the moment to dine with some friends as a birthday was celebrated. friends talking, laughing, enjoying who we are.
it is on my mind this morning as i hear of difficulty in yet another church setting. pain is rampant, people unsettled and confused, families hurting and the once clear path of the future is now filled with haze and uncertainty.
i know what it feels like to be tossed aside, left outside the party, not part of the group, outsider, sinner, thief, addict, liar. when i was these things, it was expected to feel pain, rejection and fear.
i also know what it feel like to be inside, and still not part, treated as typical, told you are not what we need, although your gifts are good for a particular kind of people...on the team but not suited up to participate, in the room with the varsity, and yet knowing i was JV.
through all these life situations i have learned to comfortable in my own skin. could care less about what i do not have, or who i don't know, or know for that matter. i rub people the wrong way, like a rusted piece of metal brushing up the skin. it may cut you, annoy you, but prolly wont kill you. just enough displeasure to know that it is there.
all this is said to get to this...through all the life changes, disappointments, growth opportunities, and failures...one thing has remained steadfast and immovable in my life. Him. Jesus. and through all that junk, even now, worship is that place where i lose myself.
just for a glimpse...a glance, a touch of that garment that seems so elusive.
i will not settle for anything less.
not sure what you did last night. if you had discussions over the ramifications of your political stance, or if you waded deep into the fear of financial loss, or if you wept over hunger in the world, or if there was little thought or opportunity to involved. either way, you, me, us...we all occupied our time with something. trivial or full of impact.
me? last night...i worshiped.
11.07.2008
my messy faith
got this from my dear friend Lisa. She is a magnificent writer and follower of Jesus. find her here http://theuprising.typepad.com/ be careful. you may not leave as you arrived.
but i claim it, not as the writer, but the reality of the words in my life. while beautiful, my faith journey has been difficult, messy and downright dirty. there is nothing slick and clean about full sacrifice. blood spews out on everything, drenches the receiver as well the sacrificed.
"I'm not courting God like a ravished lover - No.Mine is a much messier quest. I'm courting Him like a cocaine addict - counting worthless & selling off anything that stands between having what I seek.... Scouring the deep recesses of all my comfort zones for any remnant of change that may have slipped between the cushions... every penny counts & everything that is mine is handed over that I might apprehend Him, know Him, walk in the pleasure of His presence, & in His resurrection life... Even if it means fellowshipping with suffering.
Here, anchored in the sweat & snot & tears & shakes of a morning 'episode' .. my longing overtakes my logic & reason. I curse my brokenness, swear through a vow, & hand over all my gods & goods for another sight of His face, his heart, His soul... Him.I'm not courting God like a ravished lover - This morning my Philippians 3:7-12 is a much, much messier quest - I court Him like a cocaine addict."
because of my messy pursuit, my life and thoughts are a little more raw, little harsh, little blunt. because i am an former addict, this resonates deep. it affects my views on life, religion, politics, and even worship. it affects how i live, my laugh, my passion, my thought.
some are slick, pretty even, romantic in their pursuits. mine is more of a tear soaked, finger nails dirty from grasping at the ground as i lay face down in the dirt and try to peer upward. completely drenched with the blood of not only His sacrifice, but, mercy like rain poured over me. screamin not for material wealth, nor hoping for comfort, or health or safety. screaming for just a glimpse of his greatness from my cleft in the rock. reachin upward to take hold of his hand and willing to go, do, and be what ever it is my willingness and his grace and direction can take me.
thanks L, for saying what i have felt. this, and so much more.
messy. but oh so beautiful.
but i claim it, not as the writer, but the reality of the words in my life. while beautiful, my faith journey has been difficult, messy and downright dirty. there is nothing slick and clean about full sacrifice. blood spews out on everything, drenches the receiver as well the sacrificed.
"I'm not courting God like a ravished lover - No.Mine is a much messier quest. I'm courting Him like a cocaine addict - counting worthless & selling off anything that stands between having what I seek.... Scouring the deep recesses of all my comfort zones for any remnant of change that may have slipped between the cushions... every penny counts & everything that is mine is handed over that I might apprehend Him, know Him, walk in the pleasure of His presence, & in His resurrection life... Even if it means fellowshipping with suffering.
Here, anchored in the sweat & snot & tears & shakes of a morning 'episode' .. my longing overtakes my logic & reason. I curse my brokenness, swear through a vow, & hand over all my gods & goods for another sight of His face, his heart, His soul... Him.I'm not courting God like a ravished lover - This morning my Philippians 3:7-12 is a much, much messier quest - I court Him like a cocaine addict."
because of my messy pursuit, my life and thoughts are a little more raw, little harsh, little blunt. because i am an former addict, this resonates deep. it affects my views on life, religion, politics, and even worship. it affects how i live, my laugh, my passion, my thought.
some are slick, pretty even, romantic in their pursuits. mine is more of a tear soaked, finger nails dirty from grasping at the ground as i lay face down in the dirt and try to peer upward. completely drenched with the blood of not only His sacrifice, but, mercy like rain poured over me. screamin not for material wealth, nor hoping for comfort, or health or safety. screaming for just a glimpse of his greatness from my cleft in the rock. reachin upward to take hold of his hand and willing to go, do, and be what ever it is my willingness and his grace and direction can take me.
thanks L, for saying what i have felt. this, and so much more.
messy. but oh so beautiful.
11.05.2008
What if???
what if...
the "christian right" had spent as much time praying for Bush as they did praying against Obama if George would have been less of an idiot.
all the evangelicals bottle up the anti Obama sentiments and put it toward talking about Jesus to folks?
being politically informed had nothing to do with claiming the other side was evil, the anti Christ, and actually believing that Jesus was the head of your party?
the money spent by evangelicals for the election went to their local churches as a tithe?
justice really was an issue we all would get behind?
the church treated those who were not ideologically the same, were treated with love and respect?
we stop using the pulpit to promote politics and start loving the nominal in our society?
we heard from evangelicals on love issues, rather than every 4 years about political issues?
we loved people away from abortion, rather than standing there with a sign of a dead baby?
the media would show an evangelical actually worshiping, and their face did not look like they were in pain from hemorrhoids?
we, as the body of Christ, actually get behind the agenda of Jesus and live outside our walls?
we stopped being the reason people are leaving the church?
the opportunity to be grace givers wins out over brow beaters?
we celebrate the fact that our country has just elected the first black man as president in history, and stop whining about what we really don't know or have control over?
we replace all the time we spent talking about, condemning, judging, being arrogant over the election and its candidates, in prayer and fasting over holiness and acceptance of people?
we really understand that the church as we know it has lost her voice in the public market place. and maybe we need to return to our roots as an underground movement full of life changed Jesus followers?
we act as how the rest of the country sees us. arrogant, judgemental, loveless, separatists,
argumentative, antagonists, hypocritical, the same, talking heads as we ever were?
we embraced the fact that there are more people, more money, more church buildings, more conferences, more self help books, more or everything EXCEPT new followers of Christ, as a challenge to invade our culture with an infusion of Jesus?
nothing changes...and we just sit by and complain. again.
the "christian right" had spent as much time praying for Bush as they did praying against Obama if George would have been less of an idiot.
all the evangelicals bottle up the anti Obama sentiments and put it toward talking about Jesus to folks?
being politically informed had nothing to do with claiming the other side was evil, the anti Christ, and actually believing that Jesus was the head of your party?
the money spent by evangelicals for the election went to their local churches as a tithe?
justice really was an issue we all would get behind?
the church treated those who were not ideologically the same, were treated with love and respect?
we stop using the pulpit to promote politics and start loving the nominal in our society?
we heard from evangelicals on love issues, rather than every 4 years about political issues?
we loved people away from abortion, rather than standing there with a sign of a dead baby?
the media would show an evangelical actually worshiping, and their face did not look like they were in pain from hemorrhoids?
we, as the body of Christ, actually get behind the agenda of Jesus and live outside our walls?
we stopped being the reason people are leaving the church?
the opportunity to be grace givers wins out over brow beaters?
we celebrate the fact that our country has just elected the first black man as president in history, and stop whining about what we really don't know or have control over?
we replace all the time we spent talking about, condemning, judging, being arrogant over the election and its candidates, in prayer and fasting over holiness and acceptance of people?
we really understand that the church as we know it has lost her voice in the public market place. and maybe we need to return to our roots as an underground movement full of life changed Jesus followers?
we act as how the rest of the country sees us. arrogant, judgemental, loveless, separatists,
argumentative, antagonists, hypocritical, the same, talking heads as we ever were?
we embraced the fact that there are more people, more money, more church buildings, more conferences, more self help books, more or everything EXCEPT new followers of Christ, as a challenge to invade our culture with an infusion of Jesus?
nothing changes...and we just sit by and complain. again.
10.26.2008
What i like about you...
had a moment the other day when it hit me.
i love church.
through the years i have realized that even when i struggled with my place, my purpose, lack of leadership, difference of idea, strategy...all these issues, my love for the bride has really never been shaken.
the connections we have made remain pure and wondrous. even now, after 6 months, we love it here, it really feels like home. and for us, home is where we are.
the bride still amazes me. made up of people who are different, carrying agenda, afraid, not transparent, doubters, sinners, saints, liars and leavers, righteous, holy, truth seekers, lost, far from God, and followers of the way. she is truly my delight.
all this came in a moment when i saw 2 people who i had never met. they smiled and said "hello, we are so glad to see you today."
she is beautiful in all her ways, the vehicle He has chosen to change the world. full of moderns, post-moderns, emergent, traditional, contemporary, liturgical, old school, and new school. marvolous, and full of opportunity and power. the very hand, feet and heart beat of the great God of Israel.
yea, i love her.
thoughts?
i love church.
through the years i have realized that even when i struggled with my place, my purpose, lack of leadership, difference of idea, strategy...all these issues, my love for the bride has really never been shaken.
the connections we have made remain pure and wondrous. even now, after 6 months, we love it here, it really feels like home. and for us, home is where we are.
the bride still amazes me. made up of people who are different, carrying agenda, afraid, not transparent, doubters, sinners, saints, liars and leavers, righteous, holy, truth seekers, lost, far from God, and followers of the way. she is truly my delight.
all this came in a moment when i saw 2 people who i had never met. they smiled and said "hello, we are so glad to see you today."
she is beautiful in all her ways, the vehicle He has chosen to change the world. full of moderns, post-moderns, emergent, traditional, contemporary, liturgical, old school, and new school. marvolous, and full of opportunity and power. the very hand, feet and heart beat of the great God of Israel.
yea, i love her.
thoughts?
10.10.2008
amish road blocks
been a while since i posted anything. not sure who follows, if you do, sorry.
this past month has been a bit freaky. best way to describe it would be darkness. it settled in, and i found it difficult to feel my way through it. heavy, like an old blanket from grandmas house. heavy, and familiar.
light has returned and there is a sense of ease now.
today was a great day. had lunch with a friend, and lost myself in the countryside. rode miles and miles. soaking in the beauty, lifting my face toward the sun, enjoying the warmth on my face, and like a plant who needed water, life began to return. i rode for miles and miles.
today was also my first "cant get around the Amish horse and buggy cause the road was real curvy" day. so rather than try and rush, i lost myself in this thought. simplicity.
when the road straightened out, i slowly pulled around, caught the old man eye, and we both waved. he with his long beard and hat, sitting in a God knows how old buggy being pulled by a single horse, and me, sitting atop about 110 horses...who i like to call Mavis.
i watched him as he disappeared in my rear view mirror, and wondered about his life. i became envious of him to a point. he probably gets up at the but crack of dawn, works hard each day, living in simplicity with his family. the economic crisis is prolly not as important as it is to me, gas prices most likely did not enter into his mind, nor did the housing market.
me, i lust for an iPhone, bigger, faster computers, heated clothing for my winter rides, more money in the bank, lower gas prices and a new Harley. not sure i am very excited about how my life has become about stuff.
i am thankful for an old guy in a buggy who slowed me down a bit today. thankful for the beauty of a fall day and a PA countryside that displays the glory of a great God. thankful for life and family. thankful for a hope and freedom that will not be denied, no matter how hard i try.
yea, Amish road blocks. did i mention that the by product of a horse driven buggy?
9.08.2008
a bit unsettled...
i read something i have read over a hundred times i guess. but today, it jacked me up...read the following.
1 Sam 4:1-4 Thus the word of Samuel came to all Israel. Now Israel went out to meet the Philistines in battle and camped beside Ebenezer while the Philistines camped in Aphek. 2 And the Philistines drew up in battle array to meet Israel. When the battle spread, Israel was defeated before the Philistines who killed about four thousand men on the battlefield. 3 When the people came into the camp, the elders of Israel said, "Why has the LORD defeated us today before the Philistines? Let us take to ourselves from Shiloh the ark of the covenant of the LORD, that it may come among us and deliver us from the power of our enemies." 4 So the people sent to Shiloh, and from there they carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD of hosts who sits above the cherubim; and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were there with the ark of the covenant of God. NASB
what through me is this...the lost was not blamed on the philistines, but attributed to the Lord as Him defeating them. in their eyes, the enemy did not then nor ever matter, they as a culture had come to know that the battle was the Lords.
of course they sent for the Arc of the covenant...it was the ace in the hole, their secret weapon, their confidence. but this time, there was sin to be dealt with. so the people lost a great loss that day.
not because of the Philistines, but because of their sin.
here is my point.
where did we lose that mentality towards God? when did it begin to matter what the Battle was, or the enemy? when did wins, losses, victory, success become part of our deal and not Gods?
what unsettles me is the way in which we view Holy God. as part of our lives...our weekend, our answer to struggles, but not as they viewed Him or the ark. when the ark showed up, the people had faith, had courage had hope.
i am working through this. trying to bring together the two cultures. trying to bring together the unchanging God with the fulfillment of the Law. trying to deal with this unsettled feeling when i read this. we explain away so much with personal experience. it becomes almost an excuse.
somethings cannot be explained that way.
this great God who is other than, fully holy, fully love, fully merciful, full forgiving, full of wrath...punisher of sin, yet we seem to have taken on some of His duties, so that we can explain away the fact we have become the object of our own affection.
this God who wraps himself in light, chases his enemies into the darkness, does not leave the guilty unpunished, supports his children, seeks out those who love him and blesses them, has plans for their prosperity...yet
his own children knew it was not the philistines who won the battle, but the Lord their God defeated them because of their sin.
for some reason yet to be determined, this jacked me up today. i guess maybe i just needed to sit in the reality of a God other than my ways for a bit. before i reason away my attitudes. before i try and dumb down truth so others can make it taste good and digest easily.
i dont want easy answers. i want to know this God. in all aspects he will allow. even so Lord.
1 Sam 4:1-4 Thus the word of Samuel came to all Israel. Now Israel went out to meet the Philistines in battle and camped beside Ebenezer while the Philistines camped in Aphek. 2 And the Philistines drew up in battle array to meet Israel. When the battle spread, Israel was defeated before the Philistines who killed about four thousand men on the battlefield. 3 When the people came into the camp, the elders of Israel said, "Why has the LORD defeated us today before the Philistines? Let us take to ourselves from Shiloh the ark of the covenant of the LORD, that it may come among us and deliver us from the power of our enemies." 4 So the people sent to Shiloh, and from there they carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD of hosts who sits above the cherubim; and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were there with the ark of the covenant of God. NASB
what through me is this...the lost was not blamed on the philistines, but attributed to the Lord as Him defeating them. in their eyes, the enemy did not then nor ever matter, they as a culture had come to know that the battle was the Lords.
of course they sent for the Arc of the covenant...it was the ace in the hole, their secret weapon, their confidence. but this time, there was sin to be dealt with. so the people lost a great loss that day.
not because of the Philistines, but because of their sin.
here is my point.
where did we lose that mentality towards God? when did it begin to matter what the Battle was, or the enemy? when did wins, losses, victory, success become part of our deal and not Gods?
what unsettles me is the way in which we view Holy God. as part of our lives...our weekend, our answer to struggles, but not as they viewed Him or the ark. when the ark showed up, the people had faith, had courage had hope.
i am working through this. trying to bring together the two cultures. trying to bring together the unchanging God with the fulfillment of the Law. trying to deal with this unsettled feeling when i read this. we explain away so much with personal experience. it becomes almost an excuse.
somethings cannot be explained that way.
this great God who is other than, fully holy, fully love, fully merciful, full forgiving, full of wrath...punisher of sin, yet we seem to have taken on some of His duties, so that we can explain away the fact we have become the object of our own affection.
this God who wraps himself in light, chases his enemies into the darkness, does not leave the guilty unpunished, supports his children, seeks out those who love him and blesses them, has plans for their prosperity...yet
his own children knew it was not the philistines who won the battle, but the Lord their God defeated them because of their sin.
for some reason yet to be determined, this jacked me up today. i guess maybe i just needed to sit in the reality of a God other than my ways for a bit. before i reason away my attitudes. before i try and dumb down truth so others can make it taste good and digest easily.
i dont want easy answers. i want to know this God. in all aspects he will allow. even so Lord.
9.07.2008
Vision and not so much.
i always look forward to going to worship. seldom in my years have i not looked forward to it...except this time when we were...never mind.
anyway, today, our pastor talked to us about where the church started, when it started, and why it started. their thought was to create a place where people who did not normally go to church would want to come, so they could experience connections and encounter God. to teach in ways that actually met people where they were, real life. imagine that. thinking that jesus would actually be concerned with our situation, our pain, our fear.
they have stayed true to that vision from day one. he explained why. he explained what had been, and he explained what was coming.
we have all heard "with out vision, the people perish."
let me add that with true, passionate vision that is talked about, worked out in front of and with the staff and the invitation of the people to own it and come along with God to accomplish it...the people become intoxicated.
i sat there and almost wept at the simplicity of doing what God tells us to do and being surrounded by 2600 people who had come there originally because some one asked them to come.
i thought of what it meant for me to pour my life into a vision for the sake of being part of the body. not because i work there, not because it is my job to support the work of the church and the denomination...but because it was intoxicating.
i was pulled in by the Spirit and engaged and challenged to be part of a huge work. a simple work. an important work. a God work.
so i'm in. all in. having lusted in my spirit to be part of such team working vision casting, it seems sweeter just to be on the outside looking in.
something cool is going on here. www.lcbcchurch.com and i want to look back and say i was asked to help out and i did..all for the glory of God.
not so much in some places. when we were looking for a church to serve in, a pastor from another church who told me not to go there. "all they do is have a rock show for half hour, a 15 min sermonette, and they call that church." so i left there and drove over. tell me not to go somewhere is a sure way to get me to go.
what we have found is people with courageous leadership, passion for people...they actually like the people who come there, visible characteristics of Jesus and focus.
who knows what will happen, where we will end up. but for now, we are plugged in and serving. not because we had to settle...but because we get to part of what God is doing.
my prayer is that you never settle for where you worship, but that you would find, create, and be involved with vision. true vision. not maintenance, not the same ole junk, not someone who does not get the reality of life and speaks from personality. but genuine Jesus filled vision.
anyway, today, our pastor talked to us about where the church started, when it started, and why it started. their thought was to create a place where people who did not normally go to church would want to come, so they could experience connections and encounter God. to teach in ways that actually met people where they were, real life. imagine that. thinking that jesus would actually be concerned with our situation, our pain, our fear.
they have stayed true to that vision from day one. he explained why. he explained what had been, and he explained what was coming.
we have all heard "with out vision, the people perish."
let me add that with true, passionate vision that is talked about, worked out in front of and with the staff and the invitation of the people to own it and come along with God to accomplish it...the people become intoxicated.
i sat there and almost wept at the simplicity of doing what God tells us to do and being surrounded by 2600 people who had come there originally because some one asked them to come.
i thought of what it meant for me to pour my life into a vision for the sake of being part of the body. not because i work there, not because it is my job to support the work of the church and the denomination...but because it was intoxicating.
i was pulled in by the Spirit and engaged and challenged to be part of a huge work. a simple work. an important work. a God work.
so i'm in. all in. having lusted in my spirit to be part of such team working vision casting, it seems sweeter just to be on the outside looking in.
something cool is going on here. www.lcbcchurch.com and i want to look back and say i was asked to help out and i did..all for the glory of God.
not so much in some places. when we were looking for a church to serve in, a pastor from another church who told me not to go there. "all they do is have a rock show for half hour, a 15 min sermonette, and they call that church." so i left there and drove over. tell me not to go somewhere is a sure way to get me to go.
what we have found is people with courageous leadership, passion for people...they actually like the people who come there, visible characteristics of Jesus and focus.
who knows what will happen, where we will end up. but for now, we are plugged in and serving. not because we had to settle...but because we get to part of what God is doing.
my prayer is that you never settle for where you worship, but that you would find, create, and be involved with vision. true vision. not maintenance, not the same ole junk, not someone who does not get the reality of life and speaks from personality. but genuine Jesus filled vision.
9.05.2008
Why I ride a Harley
This is my Harley. I have named her Mavis. after Mavis Stapelton of the Stapleton singers. just for the way she sang "I'll Take You There." an old spiritual they made in the 70's i think.in this picture, we are about to enter the famed Monument Valley in Utah and AZ. She is pack up and ready to go.
Mavis takes me there, whether it is to the cigar shop, Church, across the counrtry, mountain ranges, deserts or even to the local store. 24000 miles in 13 months. you figure out why i like it so much.
but why i ride is kinda complicated. the way i feel, the attitude...or maybe the marketing that is aimed at me.
"America, Please don't buy a Harley because it gets 50 MPG. MPG describes riding like biology describes sex. History has shaped this tank, not the whims of foreign oil. American workers pour their soul into it.
Let's chase sunsets whether gas is 6 bucks or 6 red cents.
let's ride to parties like rock stars.
Let's fill the tank that gives back more than we put in.
So Screw it, Let's Ride! Harley Davidson.
this pretty much sums it up, says it like i would, with attitude and a smirk across my face.
when the wind is in my face, the bugs are in my teeth, or the rain is soaked me to the bone.
i ride. i don't just got the shirt...i got the Harley.
so. let's ride!
9.01.2008
face time
i get glimpses of her smile through out the day. not always the same place or even the same smile. but definitely the same face.
she whispers her love for me each morning to rouse me from my slumber, often waking me from dreams of looking at her.
as i stumble out like a drunkard from a hard night sleep, she greets me with a smile like she has not seen me in years.
it is always with expectancy that she looks at me, knowing that i am hers and she is mine.
i am confident that God has allowed me this great love to have a small understanding in how he loves me and pursues me.
as i seek his face, he shows me his love through her. as deep calls to deep, as he covers me like the waves of water, so her love causes me to ponder the wonder of such a gift.
face time. hers leads to his.
and all they could come up with as a name for this great experience was marriage. dont quite cover it. need to get a new word.
she whispers her love for me each morning to rouse me from my slumber, often waking me from dreams of looking at her.
as i stumble out like a drunkard from a hard night sleep, she greets me with a smile like she has not seen me in years.
it is always with expectancy that she looks at me, knowing that i am hers and she is mine.
i am confident that God has allowed me this great love to have a small understanding in how he loves me and pursues me.
as i seek his face, he shows me his love through her. as deep calls to deep, as he covers me like the waves of water, so her love causes me to ponder the wonder of such a gift.
face time. hers leads to his.
and all they could come up with as a name for this great experience was marriage. dont quite cover it. need to get a new word.
8.27.2008
Porn Stars and Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
why is it that when the press, or anyone for that matter refers to someone who is involved in the adult film industry, they are referred to as a porn star?
there is no other profession that just by being involved you are called a star.
i guess no one wants to be called a porn associate, or porn helper, or porn back up, or porn stand in, or porn bench sitter, or porn addicted, or porn ruined my marriage, or porn caused me to devalue women, or porn demeans sex and women and porn stars need Jesus. or porn sells more at religious conventions than any other, or how porn is killing pastors.
on another note...
i was listening to the radio the other day and heard a song by kid rock. All summer long.
the song is a walk down memory lane that lead me back home. it was like he was singing about my days as a kid in the south.
It was 1989, my thoughts were short my hair was long
Caught somewhere between a boy and man
She was seventeen and she was far from in-between
It was summertime in Northern Michigan
Ahh Ahh AhhAhh Ahh Ahh
Splashing through the sand bar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life, like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair
[Chorus:]And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Catching Walleye from the dock
Watching the waves roll off the rocks
She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul
We'd blister in the sun We couldn't wait for night to come
To hit that sand and play some rock and roll
NOw nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change Or how we thought those days would never end Sometimes I'll hear that song and I'll start to sing along And think man I'd love to see that girl again Kid Rock
so i am singing along, thinking back to the good ole days, drinking, getting high, having sex, and skipping school.
then it hit me.
there was nothing about those days that honored God, or me. i was selfish, pretty much a drunk and a dope head, disobeyed my parents and took advantage of girls who were created in Gods image.
it takes me back. but those days were neither innocent, nor were they good. i was a sinner and needed a saviour. thankfully he found me.
funny what music does to us. funny how we think innocence when sin seems fun.
funny how we think Grease was a family movie.
funny how Gun Smoke was an example of family values, when miss kitty was a pro in a saloon.
funny how porn decided the hd dvd and blue ray battle.
funny how we see things.
singing sweet home Alabama all summer long.
there is no other profession that just by being involved you are called a star.
i guess no one wants to be called a porn associate, or porn helper, or porn back up, or porn stand in, or porn bench sitter, or porn addicted, or porn ruined my marriage, or porn caused me to devalue women, or porn demeans sex and women and porn stars need Jesus. or porn sells more at religious conventions than any other, or how porn is killing pastors.
on another note...
i was listening to the radio the other day and heard a song by kid rock. All summer long.
the song is a walk down memory lane that lead me back home. it was like he was singing about my days as a kid in the south.
It was 1989, my thoughts were short my hair was long
Caught somewhere between a boy and man
She was seventeen and she was far from in-between
It was summertime in Northern Michigan
Ahh Ahh AhhAhh Ahh Ahh
Splashing through the sand bar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life, like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair
[Chorus:]And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Catching Walleye from the dock
Watching the waves roll off the rocks
She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul
We'd blister in the sun We couldn't wait for night to come
To hit that sand and play some rock and roll
NOw nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change Or how we thought those days would never end Sometimes I'll hear that song and I'll start to sing along And think man I'd love to see that girl again Kid Rock
so i am singing along, thinking back to the good ole days, drinking, getting high, having sex, and skipping school.
then it hit me.
there was nothing about those days that honored God, or me. i was selfish, pretty much a drunk and a dope head, disobeyed my parents and took advantage of girls who were created in Gods image.
it takes me back. but those days were neither innocent, nor were they good. i was a sinner and needed a saviour. thankfully he found me.
funny what music does to us. funny how we think innocence when sin seems fun.
funny how we think Grease was a family movie.
funny how Gun Smoke was an example of family values, when miss kitty was a pro in a saloon.
funny how porn decided the hd dvd and blue ray battle.
funny how we see things.
singing sweet home Alabama all summer long.
8.13.2008
Life, or something very similar...
been thinking about journey lately. got some new friends who are in the oven of faith, old friends who are struggling with issues, we are in the midst... for me, i am walking in some what of an interesting thought. where i am is where i prayed to be, but it is not what i wanted, nor is it where i wanted. but it very well may be what i needed and where i need to be. faith determines my response to that.
somewhere along the line, i realized that we are all...
dealing with faith, how to rely, how to determine, how to grow, how to keep from stagnating.
i am not sure there is any thing other than faith. it either is or it is not. i put cool words on it like primal, hard core, weak, strong, shaky. but faith is faith. we all got it (each man was given a measure of faith). some do greater things with their faith because they rely on it, work it, know it...or know him.
when upheaval arrives, i tend to shut down and concentrate on the situation. when Jesus came down from the mount and the other disciples had not been able to cast out the demon, he told them "this one comes out by prayer and fasting." then he cast it out and all was well.
notice...Jesus did not stop and pray, nor did he go on a micro fast to make his point.
his life was all about prayer, all about fasting. Why? prep for what ever came along.
i wonder if we became all about communion with God, not just like it, but like it and breathe it,
i wonder if we were all about fasting in prep for what ever came our way, i wonder if we truly sought after God rather than his gifts and what he could do in times of need?.!
what if a situation came up that required life change moves, redirection, relocation, purchases, sickness...what if we never broke stride because we were walking and talking in Jesus and we responded from the relationship we have, rather than shutting down and laser directing our faith toward that one issue?
theory?
it should be life.
maybe we are living a similar form of life but denying the power that lies in an exchange of life. mine for his.
8.10.2008
Kill it.
for about a year now, i have been in serious prayer, some fasting, much travail, many tears and much frustration over getting where i am today. needless to say, it does not look anything like i thought it would. it looks better. i laid it all on the line, walked away from security, ministry as i knew it, job, safety...left it all for this ministry i believed God was leading me to.
it consumed me.
today i killed it. gave it up for Him. not to impress him, but to get him. i finally understand what Jim Elliot meant by his statement...
"I said a strange prayer today. I prayed that God would magnify himself in me to the utmost, or slay me. By his grace i will not have his second best."
who the freak talks like that?
i no longer count my life as dear to myself.
what i wanted was not what i wanted. what i asked for was not what i needed.
what i got was what i needed. ask seek knock. not for something to do, that seems to come naturally. ask seek knock for him.
not sure what is to come for primal faith. what ever it is, will be by Him for Him and in Him.
the way He wanted it the whole time.
death aint pretty. kinda messy, kinda barbaric. but God has always been kinda barbaric about death. first he demanded the death of animals, then his son, now from us.
what ever it is that would keep you from knowing him, no matter how dear, no matter how you may think it is THE end result. kill it. lay it on the altar.
I have been crucified with Christ. it is no longer i who live, but Christ who lives in me. the life i now live in the flesh, i live by faith in the one who loved me and gave himself for me.
8.05.2008
caught in a trap.
cant really put words to it, but the transformation that has overtaken me has been amazing.
each morning i have the privilege to read scripture over my wife, and our relationship has become more Christlike.
i have spent time thinking over what i missed in ministry because of my view that theology was the goal and not loving God and loving people. i came away from those thoughts turning to anger and sadness. angry that i left out and did not let affect me what it truly means to be loved by God.
sad that from all of about 40 ministers i worked with in 13 years (all staff, not just pastors) there were about 7 who ever asked me about what Jesus was doing in my life, how my family was and where i was spending time in scripture. sad because mostly what we talked about was doing church, trying to figure out how we can get the sheep to become like the shepherds. after all, we knew what they needed. rather than God invading their lives.
my heart has broken over my lack of true love and acceptance of people. people created in His image. even to the point of talking down to folks in certain situations.
i repent.
truth is, we all come into situations all idealistic. have not met a minister that was not idealistic at one point. desirous of meeting people, loving them, changing the status quo, challenging kids and their parents. we soon realize that we play down to our surroundings and loose zeal for the ideal. it must be about more than love...right? it has to be more about what i say each week. this is why we do the same thing, wondering why volunteers are not plenty, wondering why commitment is lacking, wondering why tithes are weak, wondering what to next to get them in to hear what i have to say. after all, that is the most important thing. what i have to say. no invasion, no community change, no evidence of that in my own life, how can i speak it into the lives of others?
i repent.
this week i spoke to 2 students. one a former part of my ministry, who is 21 now and in a hard way. chose a life she now has to learn to deal with. burned bridges, parents cant trust her, yet all she needed was hope. she did not call to remind me of the awesome message i spoke on a wed night, or the camp we attended...she needed some one to listen. some one to tell her she was not alone. that she was loved.
the other was a child of a friend. home life in the toilet because of a dad who could care less and screams all the time. wanted to leave. she did not call casue she remembered the cool jokes i told, or the games or even the motorcycle ride. all she needed was hope. some one to listen, remind her Jesus was with her. hope. she needed to know she was loved.
hope from a man named Jesus who is always with them, and will never leave in spite of their circumstances.
they will never remember a message i spoke, only that there was a direction uncovered that gave hope.
i repent.
i learned this...
we are more like Jesus, love Jesus more, look more like Jesus, when we are put in situations where people need to know there is a God that truly loves them. they seldom remember what we say, but will always remember what we do when they are in need of a word, or a hug, or an ear, or just a bit of hope, or love. non judgemental unconditional Christlike love.
kindness leads to repentance. not theology. not philosophy. not judgement. kindness.
thank God for heart transplants.
8.02.2008
the games people play
we are fairly new to this area. we feel at home now, love the church we attend, and are settling into our smaller than before home.
when we first arrived, we met a couple that seemed a bit older than we are, if not in age, at least in actions. we had conversations about Harley's, he has one, so do i. talked about riding, talked about the country side. conversation led to church. their church was having a yard sale, if we wanted to get rid of our stuff...we were just moving in..
we were invited to join them in worship. they even came by to ask. told them we were checking out a certain church but we would love to worship with them.
after attending our current place of worship we believed God wanted us there to offer what gifts we have to help them. very clear.
the next conversation we had with this couple went a bit weird. "sorry we did not make it to your church, but we believe God wants us to serve here." told them where, they looked at each other smiled...kinda, then went on.
we see them now, and it is awkward.
funny. when we were possible church attenders with them, the conversation was enjoyable. now, just hello, and a smile.
i got to thinking about how we are as Christians. arrogant, judgemental and not kingdom minded.
we have relegated our worship experience to personal attendance with our group, our friends and our likes. taking nothing into account of kingdom perspective. if you are not like us, we really don't have much to say.
the interesting thing is this couple, Christians, never invited us to their home, never responded to our invitation to have a meal together, enjoy some fellowship as believers. it was like it became territorial.
sad really.
as God continues to make me into the image of His son, i see a wider angle, more peripheral vision, more clarity.
what if we missed the point all together when it comes to church?
what if our baggage determines our actions and we cant see the bags?
what if who we are is not different than who we were?
what if someone moves in upstairs and the creaking from the floor drives me crazy?
what if we just loved people first, then asked them about church later?
what if we just befriended people because it is what Jesus did, with no agenda for church?
what if they saw us, heard us first, knew we were different and out of that came church?
what if i got a dog and realized i was not ready for such a commitment?
what if we all just loved God and loved others?
what if we actually acted on all we believed?
what if we just stop playing games?
thoughts from a primal bohemian.
when we first arrived, we met a couple that seemed a bit older than we are, if not in age, at least in actions. we had conversations about Harley's, he has one, so do i. talked about riding, talked about the country side. conversation led to church. their church was having a yard sale, if we wanted to get rid of our stuff...we were just moving in..
we were invited to join them in worship. they even came by to ask. told them we were checking out a certain church but we would love to worship with them.
after attending our current place of worship we believed God wanted us there to offer what gifts we have to help them. very clear.
the next conversation we had with this couple went a bit weird. "sorry we did not make it to your church, but we believe God wants us to serve here." told them where, they looked at each other smiled...kinda, then went on.
we see them now, and it is awkward.
funny. when we were possible church attenders with them, the conversation was enjoyable. now, just hello, and a smile.
i got to thinking about how we are as Christians. arrogant, judgemental and not kingdom minded.
we have relegated our worship experience to personal attendance with our group, our friends and our likes. taking nothing into account of kingdom perspective. if you are not like us, we really don't have much to say.
the interesting thing is this couple, Christians, never invited us to their home, never responded to our invitation to have a meal together, enjoy some fellowship as believers. it was like it became territorial.
sad really.
as God continues to make me into the image of His son, i see a wider angle, more peripheral vision, more clarity.
what if we missed the point all together when it comes to church?
what if our baggage determines our actions and we cant see the bags?
what if who we are is not different than who we were?
what if someone moves in upstairs and the creaking from the floor drives me crazy?
what if we just loved people first, then asked them about church later?
what if we just befriended people because it is what Jesus did, with no agenda for church?
what if they saw us, heard us first, knew we were different and out of that came church?
what if i got a dog and realized i was not ready for such a commitment?
what if we all just loved God and loved others?
what if we actually acted on all we believed?
what if we just stop playing games?
thoughts from a primal bohemian.
7.31.2008
10 ways to know you are growing in Christ
10. prayer becomes more than a 1 time a day deal.
9. scripture becomes alive. and personal.
8. worship happens more than once a week.
7. people matter.
6. formulas disappear. you realize who you are.
5. perspective changes.
4. joy is evident...even on bad days.
3. when sickness comes to you or family, or people you know, prayer is first thought.
2. people notice.
1. Jesus is the first and last thought of the day.
these are just a few obviously. but tonight, i had a huge headache. kinda messed up plans for the night. my wife did not hesitate in praying for me. the headache left.
it got me thinking about how she and i have grown in recent weeks. we decided we were not going to be typical believers. we wanted all Jesus had to offer.
he is coming through big time. all we risked...everything. all we did...obey.
funny how simple it is. but he told us it was like that. i love this stuff.
9. scripture becomes alive. and personal.
8. worship happens more than once a week.
7. people matter.
6. formulas disappear. you realize who you are.
5. perspective changes.
4. joy is evident...even on bad days.
3. when sickness comes to you or family, or people you know, prayer is first thought.
2. people notice.
1. Jesus is the first and last thought of the day.
these are just a few obviously. but tonight, i had a huge headache. kinda messed up plans for the night. my wife did not hesitate in praying for me. the headache left.
it got me thinking about how she and i have grown in recent weeks. we decided we were not going to be typical believers. we wanted all Jesus had to offer.
he is coming through big time. all we risked...everything. all we did...obey.
funny how simple it is. but he told us it was like that. i love this stuff.
7.29.2008
washing her with the Word
this picture has nothng to do with the story...but it looks like Ava is saying "hmm, this popop guy is pretty awesome."
there has been some concern in my heart about my spiritual leadership with my wife. it seems that we have been on a valley hilltop deal for a while. one on the hill and other in the valley.
we both spend the time we should in the word and in prayer, but time together as a couple has always been difficult. there are reasons and excuses, but they don't seem to cut it.
she gets up at the butt crack of dawn, i stay up late. so what do we do?
i had a friend remind me of something a few weeks ago. 15 years ago someone spoke some wisdom into our lives we had walked with for a bit, but it never really took.
my prayer was God would wake me early so as to begin a new tradition. reading the word over my wife. no explanation, no discussions, just letting the word do what it does. wash us.
it was cool. it was amazing. it was intoxicating. very addictive. we sat in the presence of our magnificent God and were cleansed by his word.
taking my responsibility to disciple my wife seriously. not lording it over her, but taking her by the hand in honor and walking with her. so we both can be together at the same place at the same time.
should be cool.
7.27.2008
mid life awakening
i have heard stories how some guys get to their 40's and later and look back at their life and decide they have lost something. they leave their families, buy sports cars, have affairs, try and regain some glory fro a life they think they had as a high school kid, or college.
i am at that place.
i have looked back and what i have seen is the hand of a holy God leading, guiding and loving me into situations that have changed me.
becoming. that is the best way to describe it.
raw faith has come to rest in me. there is a communion that is intoxicating and captivating. he speaks when i wake, giving me thoughts for the day, what to read, what to think on, what to act on.
this God who has pursued me has become more than a visit to a church, more than a prayer, more. he is consuming me. and i am watching me burn.
no mid life crisis here.
more like an awakening, an understanding of what is at stake. lest we forget there is a battle raging.
mediocrity is no longer an option. passion has replaced apathy. i don't talk about how to do church, or how to get people to come so i can give them what i think they need...rather, i talk about the intoxicating presence of my father in everything.
my discussions involve action rather than theory. my prayer is with expectancy not duty.
somewhere along the line i became typical. i hate that word.
i am at that place.
i have looked back and what i have seen is the hand of a holy God leading, guiding and loving me into situations that have changed me.
becoming. that is the best way to describe it.
raw faith has come to rest in me. there is a communion that is intoxicating and captivating. he speaks when i wake, giving me thoughts for the day, what to read, what to think on, what to act on.
this God who has pursued me has become more than a visit to a church, more than a prayer, more. he is consuming me. and i am watching me burn.
no mid life crisis here.
more like an awakening, an understanding of what is at stake. lest we forget there is a battle raging.
mediocrity is no longer an option. passion has replaced apathy. i don't talk about how to do church, or how to get people to come so i can give them what i think they need...rather, i talk about the intoxicating presence of my father in everything.
my discussions involve action rather than theory. my prayer is with expectancy not duty.
somewhere along the line i became typical. i hate that word.
7.14.2008
kiddie porn
my oldest grand son came to visit for a few days. it is amazing how fast they grow, how much i miss them when they leave. we have 3 grandkids now. 2 boys and a girl. they all have popops heart. my desires for them are a God stretched, Jesus knowing, power filled life.
we spent the time riding, seeing and playing with trains.
we spent the time riding, seeing and playing with trains.
here is his vice. thomas the train. the weird thing is all the videos, all the toys are old school stuff. wood trains.
apparently he knows each train, each situation, each job, each conversation from each show.
he had a blast while he was here. all things train, the least of which was this one.
i guess each generation has its vice. gi joe, care bears, my lil pony, cabbage patch kids, barbie, pokemon, now thomas.
amazing that a 4 year old knows so much about a kiddie show and toys.
the bible tells us to be "excellent in what is good, be innocent in evil." kids today know way to much about stuff that is evil. sex, drugs, drinking, std, just to name a few. it seems as though the thoughts have been reversed.
i pray for my grand kids each day. i pray for them to be excellent in what is good, and innocent in evil. i pray for their parents/ that they would begin dialogue early about the greatness and glory of God. the holiness and grace become part of their discussion when the kids are around. i pray they don't leave that to another...that they have to catch it at church.
passion for God is not caught, it is nurtured and delicately learned. learned from those who pursue God with passion. it is seen in action, heard in daily conversation. seen in the warrior spirit passed on from the father, developed in times of difficulty when they are reminded of what the stack of stones are for.
be a stone stacker. don't leave the most important discussions you will ever have with your kids to some one else.
6.18.2008
Women, go figure
every now and then, there are moments in a marriage that make some folks re think the whole deal. some times, these moments happen after years of build up and it finally spills over.
in my case, it happened this afternoon in a seemingly normal setting. my bike is in the shop getting serviced, so i had to take my wife to work, so i could use the car to attend a meeting.
after the meeting, a good meting by the way, with a man of vision and passion, rather than talking about doing church...we talked about God invading the lives of people...anyway, i digress.
after the meeting, i had to go get my wife. for me, the moment was when i saw her walking across the parking lot. she saw me and she smiled. she smiled all the way to the car.
at that moment, just one of thousands through our 27 year marriage, i knew i was with the woman God had created just for me. He knew her in her mothers womb. he knows the number of hair on her head. and he knew she would love me, and i would love her.
our roles have been reversed now. i stay home trying to get a new work going and she gets up and goes to work. not easy for my male machismo, not easy at all. but for her, she is full of grace and understanding, love and support.
when she smiles, i melt.
she smiles a lot.
in my case, it happened this afternoon in a seemingly normal setting. my bike is in the shop getting serviced, so i had to take my wife to work, so i could use the car to attend a meeting.
after the meeting, a good meting by the way, with a man of vision and passion, rather than talking about doing church...we talked about God invading the lives of people...anyway, i digress.
after the meeting, i had to go get my wife. for me, the moment was when i saw her walking across the parking lot. she saw me and she smiled. she smiled all the way to the car.
at that moment, just one of thousands through our 27 year marriage, i knew i was with the woman God had created just for me. He knew her in her mothers womb. he knows the number of hair on her head. and he knew she would love me, and i would love her.
our roles have been reversed now. i stay home trying to get a new work going and she gets up and goes to work. not easy for my male machismo, not easy at all. but for her, she is full of grace and understanding, love and support.
when she smiles, i melt.
she smiles a lot.
6.14.2008
things that make you go...
so. today me and the wife go for a ride. checked out the local Harley store, took our time coming back. tooling along these beautiful twisty turny country roads in south central PA. popped over a hill and my worst nightmare is unfolding right in front of me. with out looking, a car shoots out of the driveway.
i lock her down, tires screach and we get sideways just a bit. the car stops. my lane...car, 1/2 the other lane...car. i lean hard to the left and get control, just barely making it past the car...the bumper of the car grazes the wifes pant leg, just missing us.
merciful is our God. not becaue we did not get killed, not becasue we made it through without damage, not because we were safe.
merciful is or God. because he reminded us at church tonight what matters.
loving God with every fiber of my being, and loving others.
not theology, not education, not who was wrong, not who was right. loving God and loving others.
i sat there tonight realizing that the love i should have given my kids when i was their youth pastor (my son and daughter), i gave to study and church. and truthfully, the love i owed God was given there as well.
time and efort given to another for what ever reason.
could have ate it today. could have been in a box, on a stretcher, in a bed, broken and banged up. then, all that would have mattered is did i love God, and did i love others. did my kids learn to lvoe God by my actions, by my words? will their love for their kids come from their love for God? what if my chance at teaching them is over? did i talk about Jesus enough to them? will they be like me? or will they take the time, savor the moment and sit and bask in the wonder that is our God.
funny. i needed this long ago. i spent way to much time on theology and not near enough time on love.
sure, i would say, God loves you, BUT...
no. God loves you, and he wants you to love him and love others. if wecan truley get that, i mean let it soak in our souls like a misty rain...everything we know, everything we think we know, everything would be different. the world as we know it would be different.
i am glad Jesus did not say " they will know you by you theology." cause they do, and that is why we are such a stench to non believers and believers alike.
i have not been know for my love.
but all that is about to change.
6.10.2008
transition and covering.
there has been nothing easy in my transition from student minister to writer.
the pressure at times has seemed heavy and stifling. all self inflicted i am afraid. but difficult none the less. i am not a writer, yet i have been called to write. getting over that is not easy, and i would like to ask you to pray for that.
trying to write like someone i am not, to be more polished, has been the biggest problem. tons of stuff written, but it looks and sounds like someone else wrote it...not cool...and not gonna fly. getting my personality on paper is a priority, but not losing that while the Holy Spirit is guiding my thoughts is the goal.
thus the struggle. allow the Spirit to speak through my words, not making my words into some one elses words, thus losing what makes me want to do this.
we now live in a beautiful area. right across the street from Mars chocolate co. more days than not it smell like cocoa. the other days, the aroma from the local farming industry is quite pungent. the mixture of the two when the wind blows just right can be quite invigorating.
for riding, it is wonderful. twisty and hilly roads with beautiful scenery.
met some cool folks at the local cigar shop. politics are the talk of the day, while watching the fox news channel. it is a cool place. i go over a couple times a week to chill and meet some local folks.
we have began the process of becoming involved at LCBC. Lives Changed By Christ. http://www.lcbcchurch.com/
seeker sensitive is not the best way to describe it, more like lost people friendly. in other words, everything they do as they plan each service and event is done with the intention of reaching lost people. biblical truth is preached with relevance and passion. possibly the best talk i have ever heard on there love of Jesus was given by the middle school pastor on Sat night.
we love it and have expressed our desire to get plugged in and used to teach. rockin worship, biblical talks, an enviornment of evangelism and vision that is before the people and inviting them to come along for the ride. we are excited about finding a covering while we are here.
2 years is a long time to be without community and worship. we shall not do with out either.
funny how i found the place. 2 weeks ago i went riding through the local communities and past by and got info from several churches. i met one pastor in the parking lot. he showed me around his church, and i asked him the spiritual dynamic in the area. he begins talking about various churches. tells me not to go out to LCBC (used to be called Lancaster county bible church) cause all i will get is 30 min of a rock show and a 10 min sermonette. no biblical foundation and very shallow.
well, you know me. tell me one thing, i will do another. i actually went out to the place and went in and got a tour by the office manager. we went to the newcomers class last night as an intro to how they do church, what their deal is. pastor ask us why we cam there, i raised my hand and told him...because some other pastor told me i shouldn't. would not find Jesus there. so i decided to check it out. he asked what did i find later. i told him Jesus.
hopefully, we hope to begin teaching a college life group soon, but we are open to using our giftedness where ever he desires. but we do believe it will be here.
6.02.2008
Recap of the trip of a life time...
here is a recap of the trip...location only, stories will follow...soon!
Jensen Beach FL to Lake Wales FL
Lake Wales FL to Gainesville FL
Gainesville FL to Lake Wales FL
Lake Wales FL to Charlotte NC
Charlotte NC to Graceville FL
Graceville FL to Leesburg FL
Leesburg FL to Gainesville FL (Porter is born)
Gainseville FL to Lake Wales FL
Lake Wales FL to Lucedale MS
Lucedale MS to Gainseville TX
Gainseville TX to Amarillo TX
Amarillo TX to Farmington NM
Farmington NM to Monument Valley Utah, Monument Valley AZ then to Kingman AZ
Kingman AZ (flat tire) to Tonapah NV
Tonapah NV to South Lake Tahoe CA
South Lake Tahoe Ca to Salina City Utah
Salina City Utah to Lamar CO
Lamar CO to Fort Smith AR
FT Smith AR to Statesville NC
Statesville NC (met Sheri) to Harrisonberg VA
Harrisionberg VA to Elizabethtown PA, where we currently have lived for 7 days. all these miles add up to 9800 miles on my bike alone since March 31. included in here are two flights from Orlando FL to Philadelphia PA to visit for 5 total days in April to see my wife.
i did not make it to the coast like i planned. my time in Tahoe was more important. my friends taught me a great deal while i was there and i felt it more important to stay there.
i also cut my trip short. i had planned on going across the top and seeing Rushmore and Sturgis, but i realized after i came through the Rockies, i missed my wife. from March the 10 till May 21, we had only seen each other for 5 days. i had had enough of that.
i have resolved to take a trip like this each year. hopefully i can take someone with me each time. sharing the ride with another person would have been great. we are blessed to live in a beautiful country. from deseerts, to mountain ranges, to lush praries. you owe it to yourself to go see it.
all in all, there are no regrets about the trip. it has inspired me to begin writing a book, which will be available, i am sure, sometime before my demise many years from now.
thanks for checking in!
5.29.2008
my moment of zen
i will write about the trip later, but for now there are some things i need to unload.
i have been unpacking boxes for 3 days now. funny, we have moved into a small apt, have no furniture (delivered next week), no bed (a blow up mattress). we have a desk, a desk chair and a foot stool. i have no where to put this stuff, yet i unpack.
i open a box of student ministry stuff. pics and albums of ALL 3 churches were there. i went through them all. smiled a lot.
when it was over, i became extremely sad. teary eyed i sat there and said out loud, "i can;t believe i am done with student ministry."
it was time to go. this new direction is where i want to be, and where God wants me to be. but the finality of NOT speaking to students each week, impacting their lives with the truth of scripture, seeing their eyes light up as they encounters God in the text...those days are over.
it was difficult to get past that. still not sure if i am.
there are 2 things pressing into my heart...
getting primal faith up and running by the end of june
starting a book that has been rattling around my heart for many years.
so...i will unpack the trip little by little. but thanks for sharing my moment of zen.
i have been unpacking boxes for 3 days now. funny, we have moved into a small apt, have no furniture (delivered next week), no bed (a blow up mattress). we have a desk, a desk chair and a foot stool. i have no where to put this stuff, yet i unpack.
i open a box of student ministry stuff. pics and albums of ALL 3 churches were there. i went through them all. smiled a lot.
when it was over, i became extremely sad. teary eyed i sat there and said out loud, "i can;t believe i am done with student ministry."
it was time to go. this new direction is where i want to be, and where God wants me to be. but the finality of NOT speaking to students each week, impacting their lives with the truth of scripture, seeing their eyes light up as they encounters God in the text...those days are over.
it was difficult to get past that. still not sure if i am.
there are 2 things pressing into my heart...
getting primal faith up and running by the end of june
starting a book that has been rattling around my heart for many years.
so...i will unpack the trip little by little. but thanks for sharing my moment of zen.
5.20.2008
sunset on Lake Tahoe
i was attending a mens group leadership meeting here as the sun went down...
alomst heaven.
we sat on the doc and talked about the greatness and glory of God...when we men become transparent and reflective of grace and mercy. we talked about the wonder of God who creates his resting place in us...
we talked
5.19.2008
5.18.2008
catching up from the road
i am east of nashville tonight. my butt is tired but the ride has been great.
wanted to catch you up on a few things.
here is what i learned about life and faith from my primal friend Pat Baginski and his family.
theology is great, and i like to talk about it and dialogue over it. but when it comes to knowing the heart of your brother...it dont matter.
being there is important. more important that i realized.
knowing there is a brother there...always there, committed to being there gives a rest most do not know.
for the first time, i was envious of a fathers relationship with his kids. i love my grown kids, and i believe they love me. but i started late teaching them the honor and love of the Lord, and the passion of my life has not been passed on. they love God, but it has not yet become who they are...it is what they do. i pray daily He will change that.
family is important, but actually extends to brothers and sisters in Christ. that is going to change for me.
Pat was primal before i knew what the word really meant.
it seems as though we have been friends for years.
an open and honest heart is far more valuable than we realize and when we live in that place we become part of true community. not just a gathering, but part.
i am more excited than ever about seeking and knowing my God.
i will see my wife in 2 days.
more tommorrow night...
enjoy the video
wanted to catch you up on a few things.
here is what i learned about life and faith from my primal friend Pat Baginski and his family.
theology is great, and i like to talk about it and dialogue over it. but when it comes to knowing the heart of your brother...it dont matter.
being there is important. more important that i realized.
knowing there is a brother there...always there, committed to being there gives a rest most do not know.
for the first time, i was envious of a fathers relationship with his kids. i love my grown kids, and i believe they love me. but i started late teaching them the honor and love of the Lord, and the passion of my life has not been passed on. they love God, but it has not yet become who they are...it is what they do. i pray daily He will change that.
family is important, but actually extends to brothers and sisters in Christ. that is going to change for me.
Pat was primal before i knew what the word really meant.
it seems as though we have been friends for years.
an open and honest heart is far more valuable than we realize and when we live in that place we become part of true community. not just a gathering, but part.
i am more excited than ever about seeking and knowing my God.
i will see my wife in 2 days.
more tommorrow night...
enjoy the video
5.17.2008
words are just words...right?
i will post more about the trip tonight.
this is on my heart as i have read 1 Samuel.
"and the Lord was with Samuel, and let none of his words fall to the ground." 3:19
"and she said, The Glory has departed from Israel, for the Ark of the Lord has been captured." 4:22
it is my prayer that my words will not fall to the ground. that the words of my mouth will be those of God and find their target in the hearts of men...through my conversation and writing of primal faith. not because i am a good guy, or am starting a cool ministry...but because it is my desire to be consumed by his greatness and as a result, he speaks, not me.
we all know why Eli's sons were killed. they acted in a way that dishonored God as they served in the temple. and we also know it was Eli would not be a father and deal with the issue.
can it be that our nation is full of men like the sons of Eli?
could it be that judgement could be coming because of how we take for granted as the servants and ministers of our great God. my heart sinks as i think about it.
may our word never hit the ground as bricks, so we can build for ourselves altars unto our goodness. but may they find their resting place in the hearts of men so as to be used and guided by the Holy Spirit to produce life change.
words.
just words
this is on my heart as i have read 1 Samuel.
"and the Lord was with Samuel, and let none of his words fall to the ground." 3:19
"and she said, The Glory has departed from Israel, for the Ark of the Lord has been captured." 4:22
it is my prayer that my words will not fall to the ground. that the words of my mouth will be those of God and find their target in the hearts of men...through my conversation and writing of primal faith. not because i am a good guy, or am starting a cool ministry...but because it is my desire to be consumed by his greatness and as a result, he speaks, not me.
we all know why Eli's sons were killed. they acted in a way that dishonored God as they served in the temple. and we also know it was Eli would not be a father and deal with the issue.
can it be that our nation is full of men like the sons of Eli?
could it be that judgement could be coming because of how we take for granted as the servants and ministers of our great God. my heart sinks as i think about it.
may our word never hit the ground as bricks, so we can build for ourselves altars unto our goodness. but may they find their resting place in the hearts of men so as to be used and guided by the Holy Spirit to produce life change.
words.
just words
5.16.2008
a moment of reality
over the last few weeks, God has allowed me to see some breathtaking scenery, had a flat tire in the desert town of Kingman,
i have met a big game hunter, been hit on, met some guys like me who were on a tour, shared the gospel with 4 people and made some new friends.
it is because of my relationship with my brother Pat, who i have nicknamed primal pat (more on my time with him later), that i write these things this morning.
i have realized i am a people person. i thrive on relationships that have their base in God. living in community is addicting. when i don't have it, i go into withdrawals.
although I am in daily communion with my God, sweet communication with Him has been great. but the only meaningful communication i have had (other than my daily talks with my wife via cell phone) has been with pat.
i have learned the importance of being there. and what i thought was there is not there. people i thought were there are not there.
i have come to realize that what i seek through this primal journey exists in small pockets in various places and thrives because it is worked hard at. not allowing one to breeze through life with out having connected with another soul.
i wake each day alone. yearning for my wife.
yet, i long for a group of men to share the primal with. accountability, not fake accountability, but closet inspections, knowing they are there. really there. committed to the process, time and the end result. Christ likeness.
today i will cross the Rockies. as i pray and replay my conversations with primal pat, the same stirring will rise as it did yesterday...
we are not meant to close ourselves off, even with just our wives. but we were created to walk the road with a community of people who know us and love us and who are willing and invited to expose bad choices in our lives, bad attitudes, and slothful pursuit of god.
i have come close a couple times.
and god willing...
tahoe no moe
i left Lake Tahoe today. after a very long day, i am setteling into the evening.
i will tell about my new friends tommorrow, there is to much there to rush through.
suffice it to say, i love this family.
i will tell about my new friends tommorrow, there is to much there to rush through.
suffice it to say, i love this family.
i go over the rockies tommorrow (fri). looking forward to that.
still can't believe i am out here doing this.
5.12.2008
road rash
met some folks today. shared the Gospel with 2, but no fruit yet. one was a believer...i think.
the economic slump is hitting hard here in Nevada as well. i rode by 3 brothels that were closed.
we live in a bizarre world. they need people who will stand firm and speak out about who they are and who they represent. people who have scars from the wrecks in their lives, but proud of the healing.
people with honest lives, with no genuine agenda but that of Christ alone. people ho live in hope, not talk about it. people who live the life of faith not just talk about it. people who will get their hands dirty serving the outsider.
people who are willing to be mobile and not static.
you one of those people?
or are you typical???
i used to be typical...now things are different.
things are primal.
5.11.2008
5.10.2008
Top Ten Reasons I am a Biker
10. i have several tattoos.
9. i have a leather jacket.
8. i have a skull on my helmet.
7. i look like a bad man.
6. i have a harley. chicks dig the harley.
5. i have been to daytone bike week, and biketoberfest.
4. i got a farmer tan.
3. when i pass cars, they wish they were driving my bike.
2. i got loud pipes.
numer one...this is where i was today.
5.08.2008
from the road 1
thoughts from the road...
5000 miles since April 1.
the trip started out with big time spiritual implications. expectations to scatter seed and meet folks. while that is still the desire, i am learning much about theory and reality.
what i mean is this...the first 2 days, i was so excited to be on the trip, i rode all day. got gas and rode. taking it all in. trying to calm myself to the fact that i really am going to Cali on my bike.
last night i crashed. crashed and woke up stiff.
today i spent the day in Texas. beautiful. 20-30 mph wind in my face all day. tonight i am in Amarillo Texas. getting the bike serviced tomorrow then off to New Mexico.
my mind was filled with much today. much of my thoughts were directed on abiding in Him. resting in Him. Being in Him. attacks from my past were frequent today, but i reminded them that they were dealt with. the sentence was handed out and freedom was given.
funny. much of my life i have tried to run away from attacks, hide or just give in. today, i stood firm, submitted myself to God, resisited and reminded the evil one he was defeated and he fled. imagine that.
i am tired.
i am lonely.
i miss my wife.
3 weeks till we see each other again.
i hit mountains tomorrow. looking forward to that.
till then, i rest, abide and remember. remember her smile, her touch, her hair, the way she smells, the way she looks at me. her eyes.
tomorrow night i will clear my mind of all the implications of traveling and listening...come on back.
5.03.2008
in your eyes...
love I get so lost,
sometimes days pass
and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
all my instincts,
they return
and the grand facade,
so soon will burn
without a noise,
without my pride
I reach out from the inside
in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes
love, I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive
and all my instincts,
they returnand the grand facade,
so soon will burn without a noise,
without my pride
I reach out from the inside
in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heatin your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes
Peter Gabriel
4.30.2008
grandkids, marriage and adventure.
i am sitting at the Orlando airport waiting to board to go and see my baby. we have ben married for 27 years now. we have never been apart as much as we have been lately. since March 20, we have spent 3 days together. not good.
during the past month, i have missed my wife, seen my kids and grandkids, welcomed into the family our newest grandson, Porter, and put 3000 miles on my bike.
all in preperation for next week. May 5, my 46th birthday, i leave for California. into the great wide open. for a 6 week raod trip to head back to the wilderness from which i was created.
into the wild.
trusting God daily for sustanance, for ministry opportunities, for direction and results.
hard core old school road trip.
i will leave Vero Beach Monday, touch the water, and head to Lake Tahoe. after setteling there i will head over to the pacific to touch that.
each day i will post a video about the day.
pray for me.
i am stoked. i am ready. i am bored.
during the past month, i have missed my wife, seen my kids and grandkids, welcomed into the family our newest grandson, Porter, and put 3000 miles on my bike.
all in preperation for next week. May 5, my 46th birthday, i leave for California. into the great wide open. for a 6 week raod trip to head back to the wilderness from which i was created.
into the wild.
trusting God daily for sustanance, for ministry opportunities, for direction and results.
hard core old school road trip.
i will leave Vero Beach Monday, touch the water, and head to Lake Tahoe. after setteling there i will head over to the pacific to touch that.
each day i will post a video about the day.
pray for me.
i am stoked. i am ready. i am bored.
4.22.2008
You can't go home...or can you?
riding in the other day, there was a coolness in the air. spring hits hard here. everything is green and the fragrance of blossoms and cattle fill the air.
it is like i came home this week.
back to where we stepped out in faith for the first time.
back to when we followed God because we had no choice. He either came through or we were gonna not make it. he did. we did.
back to the first ministry position. where i was taught to love and treasure the word, the body.
funny how far we wander. away from the foundations that were laid. away from things that never go out of date. away from simplicity away from who we are.
what is even funnier is where we wander to. toward philosophy and theory. toward newness based on a false premise. toward self satisfaction, self appreciation and complication.
when i started this blog a few years ago, i realized that this was the beginning of a journey.
now, it seems this journey has led me back home. back to the beginning.
there is so much to unpack now that i am here. i have tried to rush this process, but God wont let me. so i take out one item at a time, look at it and lay it down, or put it in the keep pile. there are some things that i packed early on that i still need. stuff i packed when i left here. i will carry it with me when i leave.
i am not a big fan of spending time going over and over things in the past. most of the time it is just better to move on. but sometimes...sometimes, it is good to journey back to where it all started. reset the compass, kill some stuff, and remember.
tomorrow night i will speak to the youth group at the church i served in when i started out 13 years ago.
funny. there is no wondering about what to talk about. just like there was no wondering about what to say then...
wont be here much longer. but...
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
And then one day you find Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun And you run,
and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter Never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to nought
Or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone The song is over Thought I'd something more to say
Home, home again I like to be here when I can
When I come home cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells...Pink Floyd
4.20.2008
beginings...kinda
been a while. not sure why, and not sure if i can do all that has happened justice here.
started the month chillin. tried to get my head and heart around what we were about to undertake. thought it may do me well to detox...but needing to detox meant that there was something there i did not need. wrong use of words. i did not need to detox. what i needed was focus.
what has happened has been a redirecting.
relationships have been strengthened and affirmed. vision has been expanded. freedom has moved in to my neighborhood. bags have been set down.
been with my mother, both my kids and my wife. traveled over 2500 miles by air and on my bike. 1500 on my bike alone. spent time with prince Jackson, princess Ava, and will meet and crown prince Porter as he arrives in a week or 2. my heart is full and filled with wonder.
today i worshipped at the first church i served in. where it all started. i am still amazed at the dignity the Pastor still holds. the office here is respected and honored. not so in some places. stories i heard in NC left me sad at how people treat ministers.
after a week in Charlotte, it is still difficult to unpack all that was shown me and taught me. L has been gifted with the ability to deal with issues we seldom talk about. the fervor in which the job at hand was tackled was amazing to watch, and more than amazing to experience. i am a different man now than i was.
i have learned that there are few activities i enjoy more than dialogue with friends and a good cigar. both were enjoyed this week. not only enjoyed but ear marked as one of the best.
i have realized that my wife is my right arm. i miss her dearly. this time is difficult, but will be over soon.
i leave for California the first week of May.
it's on now.
4.02.2008
so it begins...
it is no easy thing to leave what you know and move into something you do not. even now, i wonder how the service went, life and minisrty going on with out me. it is a bizzare feeling.
i spent the day in the woods, fasting, praying, listening. i call it my big detox.
as much as i have loved my carreer in student ministries over the last 13 years, i must move from that thought process into another.
tommorrow will be much of the same.
one month from now we will officially launch www.primalfaith.org
as the holy spirit cleanses my mind and heart, prepares me for the road, deals with left over stuff, kills attitudes, and delivers me from my self, i am submitted to what ever, where ever, when ever God would send me.
so it begins...
i spent the day in the woods, fasting, praying, listening. i call it my big detox.
as much as i have loved my carreer in student ministries over the last 13 years, i must move from that thought process into another.
tommorrow will be much of the same.
one month from now we will officially launch www.primalfaith.org
as the holy spirit cleanses my mind and heart, prepares me for the road, deals with left over stuff, kills attitudes, and delivers me from my self, i am submitted to what ever, where ever, when ever God would send me.
so it begins...
3.17.2008
ain no sunshine...
aint no sunshine when she's gone
only dark clouds every day
aint no sunshine when she's gone
and she's always gone too long
every time she goes away.
3.07.2008
key west
back from the road trip.
bike week, grand kids, kids, travel on the bike. man i dig this stuff.
me and wifey are in key west for the weekend for her birthday.
ready to serve it up. excited, steadfast, yet with that fear that makes me aware and ready to fight...keeps my senses sharp.
have i mentioned how much i love my wife? she is beautiful and warm, full of grace and honor, honest and devoted...most of the things i am not. and, quite the fighter as well.
she is more lovely today than before.
lucky? Me? nope. blessed.
bike week, grand kids, kids, travel on the bike. man i dig this stuff.
me and wifey are in key west for the weekend for her birthday.
ready to serve it up. excited, steadfast, yet with that fear that makes me aware and ready to fight...keeps my senses sharp.
have i mentioned how much i love my wife? she is beautiful and warm, full of grace and honor, honest and devoted...most of the things i am not. and, quite the fighter as well.
she is more lovely today than before.
lucky? Me? nope. blessed.
3.03.2008
road trip
taking a week off to see the kids. nice long ride. time to think, plot the trip and prepare for the next step.
the stew has been cooking for a while now. it is done and almost ready to serve. this trip will trim and set things into motion.
i am 1 month away from leaving full time church staff of 13 years and headed out to the wilderness...where i was born.
journey with me...as i leave the comfort and stability of a job to pursue his passion in me and over me. journey with me back to the primal.
no pew sitting complaining what do do with time and resources. no game playing, no retreat. no more half assed attitudes toward sacrifice and service. no more thinking the world revolves around me and my petty thoughts of grandeur. but all glory and honor to the king of kings.
we are moving headlong into death and surrender, laying ourselves on the altar seeking to be consumed by fire. all while traveling across the country and spreading a vision of greatness and glory of this wonder we call God.
journey with me...if you dare.
let it be Lord.
let it be.
the stew has been cooking for a while now. it is done and almost ready to serve. this trip will trim and set things into motion.
i am 1 month away from leaving full time church staff of 13 years and headed out to the wilderness...where i was born.
journey with me...as i leave the comfort and stability of a job to pursue his passion in me and over me. journey with me back to the primal.
no pew sitting complaining what do do with time and resources. no game playing, no retreat. no more half assed attitudes toward sacrifice and service. no more thinking the world revolves around me and my petty thoughts of grandeur. but all glory and honor to the king of kings.
we are moving headlong into death and surrender, laying ourselves on the altar seeking to be consumed by fire. all while traveling across the country and spreading a vision of greatness and glory of this wonder we call God.
journey with me...if you dare.
let it be Lord.
let it be.
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