a bit unsettled...

i read something i have read over a hundred times i guess. but today, it jacked me up...read the following.

1 Sam 4:1-4 Thus the word of Samuel came to all Israel. Now Israel went out to meet the Philistines in battle and camped beside Ebenezer while the Philistines camped in Aphek. 2 And the Philistines drew up in battle array to meet Israel. When the battle spread, Israel was defeated before the Philistines who killed about four thousand men on the battlefield. 3 When the people came into the camp, the elders of Israel said, "Why has the LORD defeated us today before the Philistines? Let us take to ourselves from Shiloh the ark of the covenant of the LORD, that it may come among us and deliver us from the power of our enemies." 4 So the people sent to Shiloh, and from there they carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD of hosts who sits above the cherubim; and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were there with the ark of the covenant of God. NASB

what through me is this...the lost was not blamed on the philistines, but attributed to the Lord as Him defeating them. in their eyes, the enemy did not then nor ever matter, they as a culture had come to know that the battle was the Lords.

of course they sent for the Arc of the covenant...it was the ace in the hole, their secret weapon, their confidence. but this time, there was sin to be dealt with. so the people lost a great loss that day.

not because of the Philistines, but because of their sin.

here is my point.

where did we lose that mentality towards God? when did it begin to matter what the Battle was, or the enemy? when did wins, losses, victory, success become part of our deal and not Gods?

what unsettles me is the way in which we view Holy God. as part of our lives...our weekend, our answer to struggles, but not as they viewed Him or the ark. when the ark showed up, the people had faith, had courage had hope.

i am working through this. trying to bring together the two cultures. trying to bring together the unchanging God with the fulfillment of the Law. trying to deal with this unsettled feeling when i read this. we explain away so much with personal experience. it becomes almost an excuse.

somethings cannot be explained that way.

this great God who is other than, fully holy, fully love, fully merciful, full forgiving, full of wrath...punisher of sin, yet we seem to have taken on some of His duties, so that we can explain away the fact we have become the object of our own affection.

this God who wraps himself in light, chases his enemies into the darkness, does not leave the guilty unpunished, supports his children, seeks out those who love him and blesses them, has plans for their prosperity...yet

his own children knew it was not the philistines who won the battle, but the Lord their God defeated them because of their sin.

for some reason yet to be determined, this jacked me up today. i guess maybe i just needed to sit in the reality of a God other than my ways for a bit. before i reason away my attitudes. before i try and dumb down truth so others can make it taste good and digest easily.

i dont want easy answers. i want to know this God. in all aspects he will allow. even so Lord.