rites of passage

if we have lost one thing in our modern culture, it is rites of passage.

moving from childhood to adulthood is done quietly and with out much fanfare anymore. there is a recognition of grads...they get to wear their cap and gowns in church. we do celebrate marriage with drunken evenings, but that is about it.

when my son left home and moved out on his own, we had a family service and sent him out to serve the god of his father. i laid my hands on him, blessed him in jesus name and sent him out as a man. just like Isaac did. just like Jacob did. i am not sure it meant much to my son, but i will never forget it.

tonight, we celebrated a friends ordination.

as i laid my hands on him to pray, it hit me between the eyes. we were participating in the same event that had happend to timothy. there is heritage in that, deep roots in the christian faith. a rite of passage.

as we gloss over many of the traditions that have been in our faith, we must remember that it is in the remeberance of traditions that keep us connected. lest we become to modern and forget our heritage and beginings.

i remembered when i was ordained. as i took my place amoung the thousands who came before me and with my brothers who will come, i recall the laying on of hands and fan into flame the fire that is deep within my soul. i was reminded again tonight, the possibility and opportunity to be called a minister of the gospel. i also remembered the heaviness of responsibility, the reality of teaching true biblical principles, the accountability of being ready and righteous. the harsh ness of a confrontational salvation.

some one asked what his calling was. it made me think of my own...expanding the minds understanding of who god his, what his word says, and how i should live in view of those truths.

it is not ours to rewrite what the early fathers have written, only to continue the conversation. it is not ours to leave the church, but build her up in love and leadership.

taking our place amoung the faithful of god ties me directly with the prophets of old, the disciples and great men who have given their lives for the gospel.

i miss the days when stories were told of great rites of passage. i miss the days when it meant something to be part of a community of faith. i miss the stories of great moves of god that were told around a table or a fire.

oh that we would treasure the passages from one phase to another, one age to another.

on another note...my first grandaughter was born yesterday.

meet Ava Rowan...i have not met her, but she has already wrapped me around her finger.

maybe, just maybe, it will be her and jackson that will change the world. maybe they will live with recklace abandon toward their god. maybe...

i remember

there are many who grieve today. grieve at the loss of a brother, sister, son or daughter...uncle, aunt, dad, mom. lives lost in war.

people who gave their lives for an ideal.

people who believed in what they were doing.

people who sacrificed the ultimate...their lives.

i remember them today.

this country was built on the blood and sacrifice of those who have fought in wars. war that defended our way of life. i can bitch and moan at the degridation of morality and faith becasue otehrs died to make it so.

for all the freedoms i enjoy were purchased on the death of men and women who gave.

what pisses me off the most is what makes us great. difference. we cannot expect to be heard unless we are willing to listen. we cannot expect to live free untill others are willing to die. we cannot realize safety until someone stands guard on the wall.

to all who gave, thanks. for all who remain in service, thanks. for you who are abroad and fighting while we back here complain...i am sorry. you are who we need to be. thanks for your sacrifice and your willingness.

american 1

day at disney and pirate wood

after spewing bile from the depths of my frustration last week, it was a pleasure to spend the day with my son and his family for the big 3rd birthday celebration of my grandson jackson. it had been a while since i have been to dinsey, and quite honestly, had reservations about how things would go.

most people start out well at those places, then after bout an hour, things seem to go awry. such was the case with us. from the begining of the day till the time we left it was most pleasant and enjoyable.

watching the wonder in the eyes of a 3 year old is something i would suggest everyone do. there is a beauty inside the soul of a child as they see things for the first time.

my son and his wife have become wonderful parents. it is a pleasure to see them interact with their son.

the most interesting ride of the day had to be the pirate ride. it was all going quite well till the end. i look up at the trio of sea going outlaws as they played the old pirates life for me bit, and was taken aback by what was seemingly staring me in the face. the guitar playing pirate was sporting a bit of pirate wood. not sure i know what else to say about that.

i am continually amazed at how both my kids have grown into wonderful people. expectations of how parents will fit into the whole picture after marriage are often difficult at best. but after a while, after a bit of re thinking, things seem to settle into the way they will be.

as i get older i realize that family means more to me than it did in my 20's. it is a trip we all have to make. the trouble is no one listens till they have to make it.

i have learned several things about my kids. they are different. they change even now every few years. they will be great parents and learn the way we did...by doing.

i have learned something about my self...i want many grandkids. and i am not at all interested in the pirate life anymore.

primal urgency

over the years i have tried to understand the trends of faith in our country. i have been lured into thoughts that seemed right, only to be reminded of the deception. post modern, modern, traditional, contemporary...all thoughts to salve our personal agendas. if it is old, it can't be right. we are special, this is how it is supposed to be.

it seems that the further we get from the cross of jesus (in time and focus), the further we are away from the actual teachings of Jesus, the further removed we are from ancient, the more willing we become to dilute and demean the gospels and scripture over all. sometimes i place on scripture what it does not place on itself...but it is a guide, a plum line, a cornerstone to hold as examples, doctirne and surity.

i have noticed as i read certain writings that a great deal talk about the acceptance of sin as hang ups and lifestyles, there exists a double standard of sorts. but the same people will write of an all encompassing love that makes it ok as long as you just love. at the same time any one who tries to dialogue about scripture, they are demeaned and dismissed as lacking in gnosis. like they have been enlightened. so love can't be there starting point...it must be agenda.

as we all know this is nothing new. for thousands of years people have rose from the ashes of orthodoxy and stated that the early fathers of the faith had it wrong. if they were influential, they were not at all right in their thinking.

we now have the benefit of hindsight, but we are as blind as ever.

most of the discussion comes at the thought of the american doctrine of ease and non confrontation. live and let live. don't judge, jesus did not so we should not. we are not allowed to stand against any teaching on love because to do so states that you are not loving.

we twist and manipulates words found not only in scripture, but make op thoughts and schemes to justify our own desire to be accepting for all BUT those who would be attempting to live in accordance with the morals found in scripture.

the sad thing is that it will get worse.

within 20 years the american church will lose it's non profit status. ministers who are now supported by the gifts of their congregation will become forced to hold jobs and preach. we should lose 75% of pastors then. members will stop giving when it does not become a tax issue.
people by the thousands will be rocked by some event that will send the membership fleeing from our churches because their faith will be thought to be proved wrong.

we will loses our influence in government. which will be a blessing, and then our faith will cease to be a political party, only to come to the realization that we have been whores since the days of Constantine

we will be forced back underground where we belong. returning to a movement that rises up to effect real change. not from the glorious houses of worship we now sit in, but from street corners and in ally ways and inner cities. not from the halls of government, but inside the skin suit.

our hope is only found in jesus christ. not the made up jesus we are hearing about, but the ugly one who was hung on a stick for the glory of his father.

we must conform to him as told in the old and new testaments, not our american version we have made into a cross between a rock star, a psycologist and mother teresa. we cannot pick and choose what we shall believe just to justify our sin and unwillingness to live in holiness.

our churches are filled with men whose egos are larger than the buildings in which they sit. the majority of us who serve on staff do none of the things we ask those who sit under our leadership to do. unless it is directly related to our career as ministers, we seldom are sharing jesus with others, we seldom look for accountability, we seldom are involved in any ministry that would bring us into community.

yet, we talk down to others who fall from grace as it were, who did not have the checks and ballances we tell our people to have (or us for that matter), look with pity on those who fail to reach the stature we have.

these rambelings come from a frustration in my own life for my own lack of passion for the kingdom of jesus. how dare me not be involved in a life or people around me outside my job.

come now...let us return to the lord. though we are as scarlet, he shall make us white as snow.

stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way is, and walk in it;
and you will find rest for your souls.

the end, newness and a tribute

sometimes things happen that catch us by suprise. things are said at the right time, a look is given and a realization comes that this may be a new direction.

I have been married for 26 years.

i am no longer in love with the woman i married. over the years, she became some one else, i became someone else. it has been difficult to try and keep returning to that one place in life when it was her i married. that was then, this is now.

i cant really say when it happened, i guess it does not matter. somewhere along the line, things changed. we evolved into different people.

what has happened that give me great hope for the future is a newness. it all started with a glimpse, a smile. it was innocent enough at first, but quickly turned into something more serious. call it a mid life crisis, call it weird, call it what ever you like. it is my life and i will do as i please.

we are madly in live with each other.

she gives me that giddy feeling when i see her. the smell of her hair when she is close drives me crazy, her smile is meant for me alone. she has had life experience that brings conversation that is intriuging. she dreams big and has purpose in her eyes.

she is not the same person i married. she has grown into a woman of deep faith and honor. she is loyal and energetic. she is beautiful and wholesome. she is sexy and crazy. she meets my every need. she is truly my helper in life.

she has endured pain and frustration, anger and fear. stepped out in faith and soared in freedom.

she is the mother of 2 grown kids and 2 grandkids. she led them both to faith in christ. they know who she is and understand her love for them. if they could tap into just a portion of her love she has shown to her husband, and apply it to their spouse, their lives would be amazing.

she is strong and gentle. she is sure of her abilities, yet shy in situations. she looks at me and and i know she will always support me.

she is not the woman i married. she is so much more.

happy mothers day baby...

i am madly in love with you. because of you, i am a better man. because of you, this world is a better place. because of you, i have been able to experience love i did not know existed.

now a few words from her kids...

What can I say about my mom? She’s the sweetest person I have ever known. She’s kind, caring, and loves her family more than anything in the world. She’s one of my best friends. We tell each other practically everything. If I’ve ever needed something, she’s always been there for me. She’s been an incredible “Nannie” to my nephew Jackson and I know that she will be to my little girl when she gets here! My mom is a person who loves God with all her heart. She’s a prayer warrior. She’s come through so much in her life by purely trusting God alone. I think that He has blessed that loyalty and made her a deliriously happy person. I love my mom so much and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. She deserves more than just one day to celebrate her incredible “motherness.” Happy Mother’s Day, Momma! I miss you and can’t wait to see you!

Linsey


My mother is loving, caring and hospitable. She is always thinking of others before herself. She has had to deal with a lot over the years, and she should be given a medal for handling everything in life the way she has. I definitely didn't make it easy on her when I was growing up, but she has always loved me for who I am. She has always been the one I can talk to when things go wrong, and she lovingly tells me the truth. She truly cares about everyone around her and shows that in every way she can. My mother's great and I love her with all of my heart. Happy Mother's Day Momma. TJ

be weary, lest you be undone

i seldom link to other blogs. but today, and many days in the recent past, this persons words have left me frothing at the heart. the journey is one of total abandon.

as it was told me, my life is better just to know this person is.

read here. but be warned. the life that is spoke about is a dangerous one.

http://theuprising.typepad.com/

thoughts on mortality

as i am 2 days away from 45, i was thinking on several things today.

what if...

i have lived longer than i am going to?
i become useless?
time slips away?
my grandkids never know what my passion is?
typical devours me?
i have not loved enough?
all this exercise is for naught?
elvis really is not dead?
no one remembers?
i did not make a difference?
i can't remember?
i die alone?
she goes first?
i had never met her?
jesus came back tommorrow?
my kids were jesus freaks?
i failed?
i never call my brother?
we give up?
jesus stopped talking to me?
the bible was outlawed?
abortion was illegal?
the church went back to the underground?
euthenasia became legal?
i begin to feel old?
i end up helpless?
no one visits me in the home?
i can't express my self?
i end up back in diapers...where i started?

what ever happens, i have been given the gift of life.
i have loved a woman with passion that scares me.
i have loved my kids with much affection.
i have been used by god to speak his word.
had great friends who have shown me loyalty.
recieved love from many people.
i have a harley.

if it ends tommorrow...i am blessed.