unleashed

i think about the highway a lot these days. seems as though it calls my name.

i often wonder if it echos in my soul so i can get away.

away from band wagons about movies. Christians are so quick to condemn movies. makes us look like idiots. yea, i want to get away from that.

away from 2 faced believers who say one thing and live another.

away from religion.

away from typical.

away from static.

away from the building.

not sure why i feel the need to look down the road. not sure why it is so inviting. maybe it is because of fences. i hate fences.

not sure why the road has become intoxicating.

maybe i have lost the will to fight. maybe i have been fighting the wrong battle.

not sure why i am drawn there. but i am.

i feel unleashed when i ride, set free. probably because i am going toward something. not sure what, but each time it becomes more and more exhilarating.

we all are like sheep...lost our way, wandering around with less passion than before, less hope, less...

This is how we roll...

This is how we give thanks...

1"When you come into the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance and have taken possession of it and live in it,

2 you shall take some of the first of all the fruit of the ground, which you harvest from your land that the LORD your God is giving you, and you shall put it in a basket, and you shall go to the place that the LORD your God will choose, to make his name to dwell there.

3And you shall go to the priest who is in office at that time and say to him, 'I declare today to the LORD your God that I have come into the land that the LORD swore to our fathers to give us.'

4Then the priest shall take the basket from your hand and set it down before the altar of the LORD your God.
5"And you shall make response before the LORD your God, 'A wandering Aramean was my father. And he went down into Egypt and sojourned there, few in number, and there he became a nation, great, mighty, and populous.

6And the Egyptians treated us harshly and humiliated us and laid on us hard labor.

7Then we cried to the LORD, the God of our fathers, and the LORD heard our voice and saw our affliction, our toil, and our oppression.

8And the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, with great deeds of terror, with signs and wonders.

9And he brought us into this place and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey. 10And behold, now I bring the first of the fruit of the ground, which you, O LORD, have given me.' And you shall set it down before the LORD your God and worship before the LORD your God.

11And you shall rejoice in all the good that the LORD your God has given to you and to your house, you, and the Levite, and the sojourner who is among you.

Deut 26:1-11

waiting

began reading Acts today. stopped dead in my thoughts, when Jesus told them to go to Jerusalem to wait.

more than anything i struggle with this. especially now.

but i wait.

for a mighty rushing wind?

for a burning bush?

for a still small voice?

for some huge earth shaking direction?

i wait.

frustration covers me like a winter blanket...heavy.

but, i wait.

we all know what happened in Jerusalem. they waited and the Spirit showed up and changed everything. impatience creeps up on me and i fight it off, killing it even. as it dies, one last scream..."what are you waiting for anyway?"

thought occurs to me...i really don't know. all i know is this...i was told to wait.

so. i wait.

take it up.

i had wanted so much for the words to be right. for 7 days, i let it mature in my mind. felt like it was what i needed to say. the words had been burned into my soul recently. a natural step for all believers, what we all need to hear.





but for some reason it seemed as though the timing was wrong. maybe it was not the right time.





i have seldom been so frustrated as i was tonight.





what seemed like the perfect time for a word was anything but. scattered teen angst, some freaky beepin noise that ruined what was left of a guarded moment for the hearers to connect.





the words have become heavy. almost to heavy to carry. there is a destination for them, but where is not known...today.





maybe tomorrow. maybe then there will be an opening. maybe then, the words, dripping with the spirit, with life, with death, can find rest in the heart of some one.





maybe, just maybe, the reality of the task has come. to long for these words to find their target in the souls of those around me. maybe the heaviness is here because of the prayers. prayers for the ministry of reconciliation and connection.





i had no idea they would be so heavy. no idea that it would hurt so bad when the words were not heard. no clue that it would be so painful.





heavy is this cross.

take it up.

so much to say...

so much has happened since the funeral.

so much to say, so much to download.

so much to think on.

so much.

i open my mouth to speak, and i am silenced...for now.

hopscotch

of all the things to do on this journey, hopscotch is not one i would have expected. but, thishas been no ordinary day...

yep, i played hopscotch with a huge 5year old.

who knows what is next...

Journey

James 1:5-8
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But let him ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For let not that man expect that he will receive anything from the Lord,
8 being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.