just wanted you to know...

thought about you a little while ago. "wish you were here" always makes me think about you. funny. it seems like a life time ago since you were here.

lots has changed.

tiff grew into a beautiful young woman. she has your smile. you have a grandson. good lookin kid. but you knew that. you would be proud.

mother is ok. we don't spend the time together as we should. there never seems to be enough time. she misses you.

i miss you.

tj was in iraq. 5 year marine. he wanted to be like you. lins is with child. soon to have a granddaughter. sheri is still the best thing ever. but you knew that.

have not talked to our brother in a while. can't seem to come together. there is always a hurdle i am supposed to jump, an attitude i have to change, an aoplogy i need to make. it got to hard. sad thing is i don't really care any more.

our sisters are ok i guess. bout the same. i miss them. they miss you.

you always had a way of keeping the roads open between us. i guess we just got lazy. i know a day lies ahead where regret will flow over me, but I am so unwilling to be the door mat again.

i wonder how things would be different if you were here. would we be as close now as then? i imagine you and sitting on the front porch sippin sweet tea and talking about kids and grand kids.

i think of you from time to time. a gnawing in my gut reminds me that even after 18 years, the finality of it all still hurts.

"he was not one who went through life with out seeking you." that is what one of the preachers said that day. i guess you did. we never really talked about it much. not like now, which is all i tend to talk to every one about.

as i sit here and stare at the screen wondering what i would say if you were here...i just wanted you to know i miss you. my life is not as full with out you in it.

just wanted you to know