Porn Stars and Sweet Home Alabama all summer long

why is it that when the press, or anyone for that matter refers to someone who is involved in the adult film industry, they are referred to as a porn star?

there is no other profession that just by being involved you are called a star.

i guess no one wants to be called a porn associate, or porn helper, or porn back up, or porn stand in, or porn bench sitter, or porn addicted, or porn ruined my marriage, or porn caused me to devalue women, or porn demeans sex and women and porn stars need Jesus. or porn sells more at religious conventions than any other, or how porn is killing pastors.

on another note...

i was listening to the radio the other day and heard a song by kid rock. All summer long.

the song is a walk down memory lane that lead me back home. it was like he was singing about my days as a kid in the south.

It was 1989, my thoughts were short my hair was long
Caught somewhere between a boy and man
She was seventeen and she was far from in-between
It was summertime in Northern Michigan

Ahh Ahh AhhAhh Ahh Ahh

Splashing through the sand bar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life, like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair

[Chorus:]And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long

Catching Walleye from the dock
Watching the waves roll off the rocks
She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul
We'd blister in the sun We couldn't wait for night to come
To hit that sand and play some rock and roll

NOw nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change Or how we thought those days would never end Sometimes I'll hear that song and I'll start to sing along And think man I'd love to see that girl again Kid Rock

so i am singing along, thinking back to the good ole days, drinking, getting high, having sex, and skipping school.

then it hit me.

there was nothing about those days that honored God, or me. i was selfish, pretty much a drunk and a dope head, disobeyed my parents and took advantage of girls who were created in Gods image.

it takes me back. but those days were neither innocent, nor were they good. i was a sinner and needed a saviour. thankfully he found me.

funny what music does to us. funny how we think innocence when sin seems fun.
funny how we think Grease was a family movie.
funny how Gun Smoke was an example of family values, when miss kitty was a pro in a saloon.
funny how porn decided the hd dvd and blue ray battle.
funny how we see things.

singing sweet home Alabama all summer long.

Life, or something very similar...

been thinking about journey lately. got some new friends who are in the oven of faith, old friends who are struggling with issues, we are in the midst...

for me, i am walking in some what of an interesting thought. where i am is where i prayed to be, but it is not what i wanted, nor is it where i wanted. but it very well may be what i needed and where i need to be. faith determines my response to that.

somewhere along the line, i realized that we are all...

dealing with faith, how to rely, how to determine, how to grow, how to keep from stagnating.

i am not sure there is any thing other than faith. it either is or it is not. i put cool words on it like primal, hard core, weak, strong, shaky. but faith is faith. we all got it (each man was given a measure of faith). some do greater things with their faith because they rely on it, work it, know it...or know him.

when upheaval arrives, i tend to shut down and concentrate on the situation. when Jesus came down from the mount and the other disciples had not been able to cast out the demon, he told them "this one comes out by prayer and fasting." then he cast it out and all was well.

notice...Jesus did not stop and pray, nor did he go on a micro fast to make his point.

his life was all about prayer, all about fasting. Why? prep for what ever came along.

i wonder if we became all about communion with God, not just like it, but like it and breathe it,

i wonder if we were all about fasting in prep for what ever came our way, i wonder if we truly sought after God rather than his gifts and what he could do in times of need?.!

what if a situation came up that required life change moves, redirection, relocation, purchases, sickness...what if we never broke stride because we were walking and talking in Jesus and we responded from the relationship we have, rather than shutting down and laser directing our faith toward that one issue?

theory?

it should be life.

maybe we are living a similar form of life but denying the power that lies in an exchange of life. mine for his.

Kill it.

for about a year now, i have been in serious prayer, some fasting, much travail, many tears and much frustration over getting where i am today. needless to say, it does not look anything like i thought it would. it looks better.

i laid it all on the line, walked away from security, ministry as i knew it, job, safety...left it all for this ministry i believed God was leading me to.

it consumed me.

today i killed it. gave it up for Him. not to impress him, but to get him. i finally understand what Jim Elliot meant by his statement...

"I said a strange prayer today. I prayed that God would magnify himself in me to the utmost, or slay me. By his grace i will not have his second best."

who the freak talks like that?

i no longer count my life as dear to myself.

what i wanted was not what i wanted. what i asked for was not what i needed.

what i got was what i needed. ask seek knock. not for something to do, that seems to come naturally. ask seek knock for him.

not sure what is to come for primal faith. what ever it is, will be by Him for Him and in Him.

the way He wanted it the whole time.

death aint pretty. kinda messy, kinda barbaric. but God has always been kinda barbaric about death. first he demanded the death of animals, then his son, now from us.

what ever it is that would keep you from knowing him, no matter how dear, no matter how you may think it is THE end result. kill it. lay it on the altar.

I have been crucified with Christ. it is no longer i who live, but Christ who lives in me. the life i now live in the flesh, i live by faith in the one who loved me and gave himself for me.

caught in a trap.

cant really put words to it, but the transformation that has overtaken me has been amazing.

each morning i have the privilege to read scripture over my wife, and our relationship has become more Christlike.

i have spent time thinking over what i missed in ministry because of my view that theology was the goal and not loving God and loving people. i came away from those thoughts turning to anger and sadness. angry that i left out and did not let affect me what it truly means to be loved by God.

sad that from all of about 40 ministers i worked with in 13 years (all staff, not just pastors) there were about 7 who ever asked me about what Jesus was doing in my life, how my family was and where i was spending time in scripture. sad because mostly what we talked about was doing church, trying to figure out how we can get the sheep to become like the shepherds. after all, we knew what they needed. rather than God invading their lives.

my heart has broken over my lack of true love and acceptance of people. people created in His image. even to the point of talking down to folks in certain situations.

i repent.

truth is, we all come into situations all idealistic. have not met a minister that was not idealistic at one point. desirous of meeting people, loving them, changing the status quo, challenging kids and their parents. we soon realize that we play down to our surroundings and loose zeal for the ideal. it must be about more than love...right? it has to be more about what i say each week. this is why we do the same thing, wondering why volunteers are not plenty, wondering why commitment is lacking, wondering why tithes are weak, wondering what to next to get them in to hear what i have to say. after all, that is the most important thing. what i have to say. no invasion, no community change, no evidence of that in my own life, how can i speak it into the lives of others?

i repent.

this week i spoke to 2 students. one a former part of my ministry, who is 21 now and in a hard way. chose a life she now has to learn to deal with. burned bridges, parents cant trust her, yet all she needed was hope. she did not call to remind me of the awesome message i spoke on a wed night, or the camp we attended...she needed some one to listen. some one to tell her she was not alone. that she was loved.

the other was a child of a friend. home life in the toilet because of a dad who could care less and screams all the time. wanted to leave. she did not call casue she remembered the cool jokes i told, or the games or even the motorcycle ride. all she needed was hope. some one to listen, remind her Jesus was with her. hope. she needed to know she was loved.

hope from a man named Jesus who is always with them, and will never leave in spite of their circumstances.

they will never remember a message i spoke, only that there was a direction uncovered that gave hope.

i repent.

i learned this...

we are more like Jesus, love Jesus more, look more like Jesus, when we are put in situations where people need to know there is a God that truly loves them. they seldom remember what we say, but will always remember what we do when they are in need of a word, or a hug, or an ear, or just a bit of hope, or love. non judgemental unconditional Christlike love.

kindness leads to repentance. not theology. not philosophy. not judgement. kindness.

thank God for heart transplants.

the games people play

we are fairly new to this area. we feel at home now, love the church we attend, and are settling into our smaller than before home.

when we first arrived, we met a couple that seemed a bit older than we are, if not in age, at least in actions. we had conversations about Harley's, he has one, so do i. talked about riding, talked about the country side. conversation led to church. their church was having a yard sale, if we wanted to get rid of our stuff...we were just moving in..

we were invited to join them in worship. they even came by to ask. told them we were checking out a certain church but we would love to worship with them.

after attending our current place of worship we believed God wanted us there to offer what gifts we have to help them. very clear.

the next conversation we had with this couple went a bit weird. "sorry we did not make it to your church, but we believe God wants us to serve here." told them where, they looked at each other smiled...kinda, then went on.

we see them now, and it is awkward.

funny. when we were possible church attenders with them, the conversation was enjoyable. now, just hello, and a smile.

i got to thinking about how we are as Christians. arrogant, judgemental and not kingdom minded.

we have relegated our worship experience to personal attendance with our group, our friends and our likes. taking nothing into account of kingdom perspective. if you are not like us, we really don't have much to say.

the interesting thing is this couple, Christians, never invited us to their home, never responded to our invitation to have a meal together, enjoy some fellowship as believers. it was like it became territorial.

sad really.

as God continues to make me into the image of His son, i see a wider angle, more peripheral vision, more clarity.

what if we missed the point all together when it comes to church?
what if our baggage determines our actions and we cant see the bags?
what if who we are is not different than who we were?
what if someone moves in upstairs and the creaking from the floor drives me crazy?
what if we just loved people first, then asked them about church later?
what if we just befriended people because it is what Jesus did, with no agenda for church?
what if they saw us, heard us first, knew we were different and out of that came church?
what if i got a dog and realized i was not ready for such a commitment?
what if we all just loved God and loved others?
what if we actually acted on all we believed?
what if we just stop playing games?

thoughts from a primal bohemian.