The stench of death looms in the atmosphere of my world. thick, heavy and full of sorrow. The air stinks.
Mike died on Monday. As hurricane Wilma swept through South FL, winds driving, breaking and destroying, Mike lay lifeless and alone.
He drank too much. He was in poor health. He had become increasingly undependable at work. He was miserable, yet unresponsive to the Gospel. He was a co worker. He helped me out a great deal when I arrived here. more than I told him. He was here, now, as if a memory from a breif meeting long ago...he is gone. No clue of his eternal destiny. there is huge regret in my heart. I really do not want to dwell on that. I will block this out, as most do, to keep the guilt of silence at bay.
funny how the discussion I have had about church seems meaningless now. traditional, relevant, emerging...all these are words I have spent much time over. throwing rocks at and embracing. trying to change to make my existance seem valid. yet through all the words and discussions, the fact remains...Mike is dead. the church that is me did not reach him.
all the time I had talked down at the church, I was actually talking down to myself. As we are the chucrh, I am the church, I have to take responsibility for the lack of concern and love shown to the least of these. the lack of encouragement needed by people like Mike everyday. people who need. people who are.
funny how when things get personal we decide to act. funny when some one I know dies, I get it. funny how when we deal with something, we think every one should deal with it. funny how I can turn the death of a man I barely knew into something about me. Funny how when I see something Jesus sees every day I get all Jesusy.
not funny how damn selfish I am.
for the first time, the reality of a world that is with out Jesus hits home.
for the first time, the excuses of not sharing Jesus hold no sway.
for the first time, theology has skin.
for the last time, my lips are sealed.
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hold
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
Nine Inch Nails
10.26.2005
10.17.2005
Sympathy for the Devil
The following is what has risen up in me as part of a discussion over the issue of compassion and honesty in regards to the exclusivity of Jesus (or lack thereof) among American Christians.
This may be difficult for you to believe (if you actually know me), but I am not, nor am I the son of a compassionate man. I have in recent years gained a few points on the mercy gifts as I test for my Spiritual giftedness. But I have always strived to be honest. Blunt is also a word that has been used to describe me.
somewhere along the line, being honest with people about certain things has led most to believe that if you are honest, even in a way as not to desire to hurt or bring them down, you have no compassion or concern for the wellbeing of that person.
at the same time, we embrace a sense of deception that is running rampant in or society. As we struggle with the reality of the "Faith of our Fathers", we are left with nominalizing what was once a high standard and a warning for those who would trifle with lack of commitment. Individualized and non communal Americans have achieved more and have more than any generation in history. But, while achieving the dream that has brought millions to this great land, we have become desperate not to offend and confront with the truth out of fear of being alienated, having tithes withdrawn, hurting feelings and losing members.
I contend that you cannot not offend with a Gospel that was designed to offend and be contrary.
contrary to who we are at the core.
contrary to what we understand life to be.
contrary to culture.
How can something that began as underground movement that centered on Faith in a Guy that was killed cause He hammered the establishment...is alive now and he will transform you if you just believe...become so, well, sweet?
what if...
when we walked the aisle, took the preacher man by the hand, looked in his eyes and with a tear rolling down our cheek told him we wanted to be saved...and he said this...
Here the deal slick. when Jesus went back to heaven, He left this whole church deal in the hands of 12 men who ended up dieing for their Faith. but before they did, they changed the world. saw things most people never did. experienced things people only read about. they were beaten, jailed, disowned and sometimes, they were alone. but they were never ingored. thousands of people have followed in their footsteps. it is not an easy life, but if you believe that Jesus did what he did, said what he said, people may mistreat you, Jesus may ask you to die alone on a foreign land for this, you may suffer, you may not have wealth or live in a big house or drive a nice car. but if you give your life to this Man who died...you will truly live. Truly live.
My pastor did not say those things to me.
truth is, no one ever said those things to me. and if they did, I am not at all confident i would want that gig.
but is that not what we should be telling people? should we not tell them what Jesus actually requires from them?
I contend that we do not understand what we get into when we say we trust Jesus.
I contend that what we hear today is Jesus helps you stop (insert sin here)...
I contend within 20 years, the church will lose tax exemption, and millions will leave.
I contend we live on the back side of a morality war that we did not have an interest in winning.
I contend that most Americans actually believe Jesus was white and was good looking. After all, who wants to follow an ugly Jesus?
when we do not give people the whole story...you know, Jesus loves you, but He expects you to die, we contribute to a less than Gospel.
I am not a prophet nor do I speak with the authority of a denomination or church. however, i do speak to what I see and have seen and have heard.
and, just like many of you, I am adding to the discussion
I also contend Steve Ray is playing for the Father at the Throne on blues night.
This may be difficult for you to believe (if you actually know me), but I am not, nor am I the son of a compassionate man. I have in recent years gained a few points on the mercy gifts as I test for my Spiritual giftedness. But I have always strived to be honest. Blunt is also a word that has been used to describe me.
somewhere along the line, being honest with people about certain things has led most to believe that if you are honest, even in a way as not to desire to hurt or bring them down, you have no compassion or concern for the wellbeing of that person.
at the same time, we embrace a sense of deception that is running rampant in or society. As we struggle with the reality of the "Faith of our Fathers", we are left with nominalizing what was once a high standard and a warning for those who would trifle with lack of commitment. Individualized and non communal Americans have achieved more and have more than any generation in history. But, while achieving the dream that has brought millions to this great land, we have become desperate not to offend and confront with the truth out of fear of being alienated, having tithes withdrawn, hurting feelings and losing members.
I contend that you cannot not offend with a Gospel that was designed to offend and be contrary.
contrary to who we are at the core.
contrary to what we understand life to be.
contrary to culture.
How can something that began as underground movement that centered on Faith in a Guy that was killed cause He hammered the establishment...is alive now and he will transform you if you just believe...become so, well, sweet?
what if...
when we walked the aisle, took the preacher man by the hand, looked in his eyes and with a tear rolling down our cheek told him we wanted to be saved...and he said this...
Here the deal slick. when Jesus went back to heaven, He left this whole church deal in the hands of 12 men who ended up dieing for their Faith. but before they did, they changed the world. saw things most people never did. experienced things people only read about. they were beaten, jailed, disowned and sometimes, they were alone. but they were never ingored. thousands of people have followed in their footsteps. it is not an easy life, but if you believe that Jesus did what he did, said what he said, people may mistreat you, Jesus may ask you to die alone on a foreign land for this, you may suffer, you may not have wealth or live in a big house or drive a nice car. but if you give your life to this Man who died...you will truly live. Truly live.
My pastor did not say those things to me.
truth is, no one ever said those things to me. and if they did, I am not at all confident i would want that gig.
but is that not what we should be telling people? should we not tell them what Jesus actually requires from them?
I contend that we do not understand what we get into when we say we trust Jesus.
I contend that what we hear today is Jesus helps you stop (insert sin here)...
I contend within 20 years, the church will lose tax exemption, and millions will leave.
I contend we live on the back side of a morality war that we did not have an interest in winning.
I contend that most Americans actually believe Jesus was white and was good looking. After all, who wants to follow an ugly Jesus?
when we do not give people the whole story...you know, Jesus loves you, but He expects you to die, we contribute to a less than Gospel.
I am not a prophet nor do I speak with the authority of a denomination or church. however, i do speak to what I see and have seen and have heard.
and, just like many of you, I am adding to the discussion
I also contend Steve Ray is playing for the Father at the Throne on blues night.
10.15.2005
Words of unity
There is a lot of discussion in our country and our churches for that matter, about unity. We must come together for a common purpose and goal to be effective.
these words echo in multi million dollar cooperation's, educational institutions, locker room speeches, and video rental stores.
it is clear, unity brings strength and focus.
as I surfed through the several hundred channels on my TV, preparing for a full day of college football and snacking, I came across an event on C-Span called the Million More Movement. A celebration of the 10th anniversary of the Million Man March, which was organized by the Right Mininster Louis=s Farrakhan, leader of the Nation of Islam.
Back ground.
I am from Mississippi. Therefore, I, and most of my family, not all, but most, were or are racists. Jesus has set me free from that, and loving people regardless of skin color has become a part of my life.
as I watched and listened, what I learned was very profound.
I watched as clergy from almost every faith were presented, each touting their dedication to their race, their rescue of those suffering from Katrina and Rita. Each giving respect and love and Honor to the leader of the movement.
besides the clergy, various leaders of various seperatist movements, whose sole aim seems to be separation and destruction of the oppression by any means needed.
as leaders came forward, they began to mention in the same breath, with the same honor, Allah, Jehovah, and God. All seemingly flowing from the same truth and understanding.
regarless of what I may think of this event, this doctrine they teach, they have a unity we will never understand. their unity comes from oppression as a race of people. they have laid aside purity of doctrinal teaching about the exclusivity of Jesus Christ to come together for a common purpose. overcoming oppression.
Because I am an American, and a southern man, I am proud of my country. I am not proud of how we as a nation have opressed Black folks, Native American, immigrants, women and children in our racist past.
having said that, lets us jump to the point.
Because we speak of unity in the church, let me make one thing clear.
The Church, set in place by God the Father, cleansed by the atonal sacrificial death of Jesus Christ, and guided by the Holy Spirit, can not stand in unity with any movement, and faith, any person that does not have faith in the exclusivity of Jesus Christ as the only way to Salvation.
no matter how many covenants we speak of, no matter how we are ridiculed, no matter how we may offend those we are trying to reach...
God does not have the name Allah. He is not the same God under a different name. All roads do not lead to the same God. We are not all moving toward the same understanding on a spiritual plane.
even though the American Church has become one of many places of worship, along side various temples and other establishments, and we may seem to be in competition for the same people, so that we may justify salaries and programs, Salvation comes from Jesus and Jesus alone.
we must not compromise on this issue. But alas, I fear we have already lost the influence that once help shape a generation.
we have placed our faith in a political party to change culture and legislate morality rather than stand on Biblical principals and understanding.
Our President (and affiliated political parties)
who reside in Washington,
much is our dedication.
A second terms has come
can we hang on
to give us more legislation?
Give this day a Supreme court justice
that will over turn abortion
and we will give you allegance
from our pulpits.
look not upon our lives and how we live,
and we will vote for you
when the democrats rise again.
these words echo in multi million dollar cooperation's, educational institutions, locker room speeches, and video rental stores.
it is clear, unity brings strength and focus.
as I surfed through the several hundred channels on my TV, preparing for a full day of college football and snacking, I came across an event on C-Span called the Million More Movement. A celebration of the 10th anniversary of the Million Man March, which was organized by the Right Mininster Louis=s Farrakhan, leader of the Nation of Islam.
Back ground.
I am from Mississippi. Therefore, I, and most of my family, not all, but most, were or are racists. Jesus has set me free from that, and loving people regardless of skin color has become a part of my life.
as I watched and listened, what I learned was very profound.
I watched as clergy from almost every faith were presented, each touting their dedication to their race, their rescue of those suffering from Katrina and Rita. Each giving respect and love and Honor to the leader of the movement.
besides the clergy, various leaders of various seperatist movements, whose sole aim seems to be separation and destruction of the oppression by any means needed.
as leaders came forward, they began to mention in the same breath, with the same honor, Allah, Jehovah, and God. All seemingly flowing from the same truth and understanding.
regarless of what I may think of this event, this doctrine they teach, they have a unity we will never understand. their unity comes from oppression as a race of people. they have laid aside purity of doctrinal teaching about the exclusivity of Jesus Christ to come together for a common purpose. overcoming oppression.
Because I am an American, and a southern man, I am proud of my country. I am not proud of how we as a nation have opressed Black folks, Native American, immigrants, women and children in our racist past.
having said that, lets us jump to the point.
Because we speak of unity in the church, let me make one thing clear.
The Church, set in place by God the Father, cleansed by the atonal sacrificial death of Jesus Christ, and guided by the Holy Spirit, can not stand in unity with any movement, and faith, any person that does not have faith in the exclusivity of Jesus Christ as the only way to Salvation.
no matter how many covenants we speak of, no matter how we are ridiculed, no matter how we may offend those we are trying to reach...
God does not have the name Allah. He is not the same God under a different name. All roads do not lead to the same God. We are not all moving toward the same understanding on a spiritual plane.
even though the American Church has become one of many places of worship, along side various temples and other establishments, and we may seem to be in competition for the same people, so that we may justify salaries and programs, Salvation comes from Jesus and Jesus alone.
we must not compromise on this issue. But alas, I fear we have already lost the influence that once help shape a generation.
we have placed our faith in a political party to change culture and legislate morality rather than stand on Biblical principals and understanding.
Our President (and affiliated political parties)
who reside in Washington,
much is our dedication.
A second terms has come
can we hang on
to give us more legislation?
Give this day a Supreme court justice
that will over turn abortion
and we will give you allegance
from our pulpits.
look not upon our lives and how we live,
and we will vote for you
when the democrats rise again.
10.13.2005
American Idiot
A friend of mine said "most people settle for the church they attend. They seldom go where they really want to."
I believe to a large extent that is true. We are so stuck in the rutness of life that we settle. We settle on most things. The majority of people do not work where they want to, but where the benefits are good. We give up on dreams and adventure and settle for mundaness and existence.
"What did you want to be?"
"I don't know, I cant remember...But it wasn't this."
Jerry Sienfeld and Elaine Bennis
We as a culture have embraced self preservation in such a huge way, it has taken over the thoughts and actions of our daily and Spiritual lives. My pastor told us last night "we live in the mega-Church age, but we baptize less people now than we did in 1965. There are less people per generation going to church than the previous one. 80% of all church programs are funded by those 55 and older, when they die, the church as we know it will cease to exist."
I think about these issues and think about how so many of those who name the name of Christ have taken a defensive stand in our culture. Not offering words and lives of transformation, but pointing the finger of judgment and degradation...not to the lost, but to the very ones they are supposed to walk along side.
It has been cool not to settle for a place to attend and serve the Bride. The leadership is sharp, not concerned about pleasing a select few, humble to stand on The Word, and very passionate about the Gospel and true honest theology.
somewhere the issue stopped being about discussion and transformation and became about preservation and rock throwing. I among all men am the most guilty here.
somewhere along the line we became afraid to call sin sin.
somewhere along the line we got pretty and put on a sweater vest and Tommy cologne.
somewhere somehow we stopped trying to be what we are supposed to be.
somewhere we figured Christian is Greek for republican.
somehow we lost the roar that once echoed in the streets of a great and mighty Warrior who rules with majesty. We seldom hear of His majesty and Holiness now. But lest we forget, He loves you and has a plan for your life. Which is true. However, trying to make Jesus one dimensional is like trying to dam up Niagara with a shovel.
Somewhere someone told all musicians to put out a praise and worship CD. Not only that, but they told them to rehash all the songs someone else wrote. Never mind about original stuff. Watch for Alice Cooper newest PW CD coming soon. He did get saved...Right?
So. There you have it. Thoughts from an American idiot from SE FL.
American Idiot by Green Day
Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindf*** America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Don't wanna be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information nation of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow
I believe to a large extent that is true. We are so stuck in the rutness of life that we settle. We settle on most things. The majority of people do not work where they want to, but where the benefits are good. We give up on dreams and adventure and settle for mundaness and existence.
"What did you want to be?"
"I don't know, I cant remember...But it wasn't this."
Jerry Sienfeld and Elaine Bennis
We as a culture have embraced self preservation in such a huge way, it has taken over the thoughts and actions of our daily and Spiritual lives. My pastor told us last night "we live in the mega-Church age, but we baptize less people now than we did in 1965. There are less people per generation going to church than the previous one. 80% of all church programs are funded by those 55 and older, when they die, the church as we know it will cease to exist."
I think about these issues and think about how so many of those who name the name of Christ have taken a defensive stand in our culture. Not offering words and lives of transformation, but pointing the finger of judgment and degradation...not to the lost, but to the very ones they are supposed to walk along side.
It has been cool not to settle for a place to attend and serve the Bride. The leadership is sharp, not concerned about pleasing a select few, humble to stand on The Word, and very passionate about the Gospel and true honest theology.
somewhere the issue stopped being about discussion and transformation and became about preservation and rock throwing. I among all men am the most guilty here.
somewhere along the line we became afraid to call sin sin.
somewhere along the line we got pretty and put on a sweater vest and Tommy cologne.
somewhere somehow we stopped trying to be what we are supposed to be.
somewhere we figured Christian is Greek for republican.
somehow we lost the roar that once echoed in the streets of a great and mighty Warrior who rules with majesty. We seldom hear of His majesty and Holiness now. But lest we forget, He loves you and has a plan for your life. Which is true. However, trying to make Jesus one dimensional is like trying to dam up Niagara with a shovel.
Somewhere someone told all musicians to put out a praise and worship CD. Not only that, but they told them to rehash all the songs someone else wrote. Never mind about original stuff. Watch for Alice Cooper newest PW CD coming soon. He did get saved...Right?
So. There you have it. Thoughts from an American idiot from SE FL.
American Idiot by Green Day
Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindf*** America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Don't wanna be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information nation of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow
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