it is late. there are numerous thoughts, regrets, fears, and exciting possibilities running through my mind. i sit and think and already i am looking forward to my time with Him. already anticipating Daniel 3. looking forward to our time together has become more and more wonderful.
after some time with Him, i leave for Birmingham AL for a national club meeting. 650 miles one way on my bike is something i have been looking forward to for some time now. i am anticipating some definite direction from the trip. words of confirmation, direction, poured into my mind and heart as i get away for a few days. funny how we, i, me, always have ideas of who, when and where things should take place. things always look different as the vision cooks for a bit. things added that did not taste good then, things taken away after the realization it was not the taste we were looking for.
i am anticipating change. change in my thoughts, change in my attitudes, change in my behaviour, change in my situation. longing for what i do not yet know is a bit testy. resting in the longing has been satisfying but strange.
a door has been closed it seems, but there has been no rush to open another, only wait. no need to crawl through a window, as i have been told before, my Father wants me walking in with eyes wide open.
looking forward to rest.
looking forward to a few moments with my daughter and granddaughter. can only stay a few moments.
looking forward to the soul scratch that is coming.
looking forward to seeing dub for coffee. Lord, thanks for him.
looking forward to 24/7. looking forward to finally getting that stuff sent out.
looking forward to seeing her again. just been gone for a day, but it is always to long.
looking forward to seeing my son and grandson on Sunday, only if for a few moments on the way home.
looking forward to growing old with her.
looking forward to time with Him. more time, sweeter time, unhindered time.
looking forward to then.
enjoying now.
living in now.
resting in now.
free now.
loving now.
changing now.
worshiping now.
dreaming of changing the world now, active in advancing the kingdom now.
going to bed now.
8.30.2007
8.24.2007
the upgrade
we had the opportunity to take a few days off this week. in desperate need of some chill time after the craziness of summer. i love youth minsitry, but the older i get, the more i need to unload.
time is being marked these days by a sense of excitement of the coming change. i feel it in the air, i can smell the aroma of rain. i breathe it in deep, hold it, enjoy the moment and exhale.
we went to the beach. 4 miles from our home. had a gift cert for a night on the beach in the Marriott. got there, got a huge upgrade. an extra free night, and a move to the presidential suite. water side private balcony and swank by the pound. it was nice, needed, and seen as what it was...a gift from my father. every moment was enjoyed and treasured as such.
i realized something about my walk with our father. most of my life with him, i have settled for a ground floor life. nominally dealing with attitudes, trying to get by, typical ups and downs...you know, basic American faith. i had actually began to believe that God existed to make much of me.
there had to be more to God than just giving me a beter life. that seemed a bit one sided.
i asked for an upgrade a few months ago.
i did not ask for penthouse faith, riches, wisdom, a big house or comfort. i asked for him. all he had to give. i had got to the point where nothing else would do. not the gifts, but the giver. not the blessings, but the blesser. a real moses moment. show me your glory? that is not a prayer that should be take lightly.
since then the most amazing transformation has take place.
in my mind at night is him. in my mind when i wake...him. songs rise up from my soul, prayers are not ceasing, concern grows, love immeasurable, contentment in his mercy...and hunger. my time in the word has consumed an hour or more a day.
visions for ministry that had me paralyzed me with fear have now become a desire of passion.
for those words were heavy, piercing and confirming. challenging and encouraging.
the future is bright with opportunity.
the opportunity to trust his provision.
the opportunity to experience true holiness, face down trembeling in his presence.
the opportunity to wait for his movement and not mine.
the opportunity to walk with him and know him.
the opportunity to live a legacy.
the opportunity to live out side the norm.
the opportunity to be driven by his wishes and carried to his bosom.
upgrade?
yes.
time is being marked these days by a sense of excitement of the coming change. i feel it in the air, i can smell the aroma of rain. i breathe it in deep, hold it, enjoy the moment and exhale.
we went to the beach. 4 miles from our home. had a gift cert for a night on the beach in the Marriott. got there, got a huge upgrade. an extra free night, and a move to the presidential suite. water side private balcony and swank by the pound. it was nice, needed, and seen as what it was...a gift from my father. every moment was enjoyed and treasured as such.
i realized something about my walk with our father. most of my life with him, i have settled for a ground floor life. nominally dealing with attitudes, trying to get by, typical ups and downs...you know, basic American faith. i had actually began to believe that God existed to make much of me.
there had to be more to God than just giving me a beter life. that seemed a bit one sided.
i asked for an upgrade a few months ago.
i did not ask for penthouse faith, riches, wisdom, a big house or comfort. i asked for him. all he had to give. i had got to the point where nothing else would do. not the gifts, but the giver. not the blessings, but the blesser. a real moses moment. show me your glory? that is not a prayer that should be take lightly.
since then the most amazing transformation has take place.
in my mind at night is him. in my mind when i wake...him. songs rise up from my soul, prayers are not ceasing, concern grows, love immeasurable, contentment in his mercy...and hunger. my time in the word has consumed an hour or more a day.
visions for ministry that had me paralyzed me with fear have now become a desire of passion.
for those words were heavy, piercing and confirming. challenging and encouraging.
the future is bright with opportunity.
the opportunity to trust his provision.
the opportunity to experience true holiness, face down trembeling in his presence.
the opportunity to wait for his movement and not mine.
the opportunity to walk with him and know him.
the opportunity to live a legacy.
the opportunity to live out side the norm.
the opportunity to be driven by his wishes and carried to his bosom.
upgrade?
yes.
8.18.2007
rain gear
two weeks ago, i got caught in a rain storm on my new bike. making a memory is all well and good, but the actual situation can be a pain. rain drops pelted my face and water made its way into every crevice and saturated every part of my body. when i arrived at the Harley store, i was dripping wet. i don't think i had ever been so wet.
my rain gear was at home. dry.
as i stood there in the parking lot, water flowing from me, and pouring out the flood that had gathered in my boots, an astute bystander asked if i had got caught in the storm. i just looked at him as i twisted out the water in my shirt.
my rain gear was at home. dry
similarly, this week, i was caught in another storm of sorts.
when we actually ask, seek and knock, our great God gives of himself to those who would "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
the storm came all at once.
there was no part of me that did not get drenched with the Spirit. all that I am had become soaked with His presence.
and me caught with out a hindrance and wall.
and me caught without any covering.
and me caught under the fountain that flowed from the throne of the creator.
our own understanding is where we get dried up.
somewhere we think we have it all figured out. we become the apple of our eye. we justify our actions and attitudes with what we want and where we want to go. the world has had enough of our understanding. the world needs his understanding. not ours.
his understanding. his outlook and his way. his cause his desires and his purpose.
have a seat. break out the word. take off the protective gear. get vulnerable. ask, seek and knock. get wet. then shake off the excess on to someone else.
my rain gear was at home. dry.
as i stood there in the parking lot, water flowing from me, and pouring out the flood that had gathered in my boots, an astute bystander asked if i had got caught in the storm. i just looked at him as i twisted out the water in my shirt.
my rain gear was at home. dry
similarly, this week, i was caught in another storm of sorts.
when we actually ask, seek and knock, our great God gives of himself to those who would "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
the storm came all at once.
there was no part of me that did not get drenched with the Spirit. all that I am had become soaked with His presence.
and me caught with out a hindrance and wall.
and me caught without any covering.
and me caught under the fountain that flowed from the throne of the creator.
our own understanding is where we get dried up.
somewhere we think we have it all figured out. we become the apple of our eye. we justify our actions and attitudes with what we want and where we want to go. the world has had enough of our understanding. the world needs his understanding. not ours.
his understanding. his outlook and his way. his cause his desires and his purpose.
have a seat. break out the word. take off the protective gear. get vulnerable. ask, seek and knock. get wet. then shake off the excess on to someone else.
8.09.2007
"Ears and noses are the trophies of the day..."
Spent the evening in the throws of testosterone laced activities. after an evening ride on the new Harley, a plate of wings and a big glass of sweet tea, I settled into a night of football and finished up with watching The Gangs of New York. the opening scene sets the tone for the whole movie.
I have always enjoyed American History. and while this movie may not accurately represent the happenings then, it comes pretty close.
we have become somewhat diluted in our understanding of our past. while abortion seems to be the outcry of the faithful these days, we as a people have seldom had a respect for life.
it is quite comical actually. with the complete disregard for human life running rampant through out our glorious past, we now have become pleased with our achievements and have made ourselves the chief end of our affections.
lately, the honor has been mine to sit under the flowing mercies and affections of the creator. i have heard it said that "there can be no sense of God with out a sense of sin." in my experience this is true...initially. after the reality of our lack, comes flowing the reality of His supply.
the supply that comes from the riches of who He is and the daily provisions of His storehouse.
while these times have come and gone through out my life, one thing that remains is the desire to have him be my portion.
because of this great love in which he has poured out of me, my thoughts must change. not to make myself the chief end of my affections, but HIM and him alone.
may we seek holiness rather than wholeness.
may our affections be aimed at him and not ourselves.
may ears and noses never be the trophies of the day. but may we be trophies of his grace and mercy.
I have always enjoyed American History. and while this movie may not accurately represent the happenings then, it comes pretty close.
we have become somewhat diluted in our understanding of our past. while abortion seems to be the outcry of the faithful these days, we as a people have seldom had a respect for life.
it is quite comical actually. with the complete disregard for human life running rampant through out our glorious past, we now have become pleased with our achievements and have made ourselves the chief end of our affections.
lately, the honor has been mine to sit under the flowing mercies and affections of the creator. i have heard it said that "there can be no sense of God with out a sense of sin." in my experience this is true...initially. after the reality of our lack, comes flowing the reality of His supply.
the supply that comes from the riches of who He is and the daily provisions of His storehouse.
while these times have come and gone through out my life, one thing that remains is the desire to have him be my portion.
because of this great love in which he has poured out of me, my thoughts must change. not to make myself the chief end of my affections, but HIM and him alone.
may we seek holiness rather than wholeness.
may our affections be aimed at him and not ourselves.
may ears and noses never be the trophies of the day. but may we be trophies of his grace and mercy.
8.07.2007
Ancient Affections
O worship the King, all glorious above,
O gratefully sing His power and His love;
Our Shield and Defender, the Ancient of Days,
Pavilion ed in splendor, and girded with praise.
O tell of His might, O sing of His grace,
Whose robe is the light, whose canopy space,
His chariots of wrath the deep thunderclouds form,
And dark is His path on the wings of the storm.
I stood with my granddaughter as we worshipped our great God this past week. I looked into her 2 month old eyes and affections for my God rose up within me.
at that moment I realized something. what I was participating in was ancient. I looked down the aisle and saw my lovely wife singing, my daughter singing and my son-n-law singing praises to our God. in quite possibly the same fashion that Moses, or David, or Isaiah had done. Maybe they held their kids or grand kids, and realized as they did that the faith, this God would be loved yet again through the next generation.
I presented her to Him as an affectionate offering of love for Him to use her and for His glory to blaze outward from her soul.
as a family we walked forward to receive communion. I looked at her while she cooed, received the bread and juice with thanksgiving for His sacrifice and life, for His death and burial and Resurrection. i wept from the pure joy of a God who would allow me to enjoy the gifts he offers to His children. He drew Himself from deep within my soul and showed Himself to be affectionate and desirous of the same. he doted over her, held me, knew me.
she has no clue to what she participated in that wonderful day.
but burned into my mind will always be a picture of us standing among the body, both present and past to honor, pay homage to, love and sing to the God of heaven.
may we realize the importance of connecting with the reality of the Ancient of Days. help us Lord not to try and make it new. Help us not to hurry past those things that connect us to the early believers.
help us to love you Lord. show us how to show affection to you. help us to realize we are mostly one way in our relationship with you.
may we never forget the ancient affections..
O gratefully sing His power and His love;
Our Shield and Defender, the Ancient of Days,
Pavilion ed in splendor, and girded with praise.
O tell of His might, O sing of His grace,
Whose robe is the light, whose canopy space,
His chariots of wrath the deep thunderclouds form,
And dark is His path on the wings of the storm.
I stood with my granddaughter as we worshipped our great God this past week. I looked into her 2 month old eyes and affections for my God rose up within me.
at that moment I realized something. what I was participating in was ancient. I looked down the aisle and saw my lovely wife singing, my daughter singing and my son-n-law singing praises to our God. in quite possibly the same fashion that Moses, or David, or Isaiah had done. Maybe they held their kids or grand kids, and realized as they did that the faith, this God would be loved yet again through the next generation.
I presented her to Him as an affectionate offering of love for Him to use her and for His glory to blaze outward from her soul.
as a family we walked forward to receive communion. I looked at her while she cooed, received the bread and juice with thanksgiving for His sacrifice and life, for His death and burial and Resurrection. i wept from the pure joy of a God who would allow me to enjoy the gifts he offers to His children. He drew Himself from deep within my soul and showed Himself to be affectionate and desirous of the same. he doted over her, held me, knew me.
she has no clue to what she participated in that wonderful day.
but burned into my mind will always be a picture of us standing among the body, both present and past to honor, pay homage to, love and sing to the God of heaven.
may we realize the importance of connecting with the reality of the Ancient of Days. help us Lord not to try and make it new. Help us not to hurry past those things that connect us to the early believers.
help us to love you Lord. show us how to show affection to you. help us to realize we are mostly one way in our relationship with you.
may we never forget the ancient affections..
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