28 thoughts from 28 years with 1 woman

Feb 14 is the 28th anniversary of my marriage proposal to my wife Sheri. as scattered, here are a few thoughts that have been running through my mind...

1. wow! 28 years! guess we proved them wrong huh babe?

2. as rough as it was early, it is that much better now.

3. it scares me how bad i suck with out you.

4. it is gonna be fun getting old(er) with you.

5. i love watching you with the grand kids. your eyes sparkle as you play with them, and they chase you around.

6. the way you look at me moves me deeply.

7. you still can't drive.

8. you are now a better cook than my mother...have been for a while. don't tell her.

9. it has been cool to watch you grow. you are not afraid of life anymore.

10. i enjoy being with you.

11. i love hearing you laugh.

12. i am still convinced you make up stuff i did not say.

13. you have always been a good mother.

14. "when you are around you take my blues away"

15. i wish i could give you more jewelry, although you have never asked for any.

16. you are an example of a good friend. others are seemingly drawn to you.

17. you have always been supportive. even when you did not have to.

18. it has always amazing to walk into a room with you.

19. when i pick you up from work, i love it that you smile when you see the car.

20. thank you for the memories.

21. i will never forget the first time i kissed you.

22. what do you want for supper tonight?

23. thanks for being loving about how i lost all that time at church, and reminding me not to do it again.

24. i like watching you sleep.

25. you smell good.

26. there has been lots of pain in our lives. but if changing that would change who we are now, then i would not change anything.

27. when we get old(er) and retire, i am not going to let you drive.

28. i love you Sheri. i love you more now than ever. i love being married to you, i love that you are truly my best friend, i love how you take care of me when i am sick, how you make me feel like a man, how you understand me, how you know me, i love how you love Jesus, i love how you wake me up in the morning...but mostly, i am still in love with you.

lip service.

for several weeks, our life group has been going through a series called "they like Jesus, but not the church." by dan kimble.

the discussion tonight was especially needed and welcome.

we have a wide variety of people in our group, as we have had the blessing to have in the last few years. it is what we do, and have done. living life together, sharing, learning, enjoying life.

is the church homophobic?

well, the answer we came away with is yes.

the discussion was well represented and well thought out. it all changed for me when i realized a few years ago that along with the word homosexual, came a lot of baggage, lot of fear, lot of judgement and a lot of condemnation.

people matter to God. they always have. people who are pursued, loved and made in his image. in reality, we came to understand that people are loved no less for their sexual orientation than a recovering addict (which i am), a liar (which i am), a thief (which i have been), a racist (which i was), an idolater (which we all have been), or an arrogant Pharisee. 

the problem is that we have placed ourselves above others and have not taken on a reflection of who Jesus has commanded us to be. while not condoning any known sin, we realized the sad thing is that we are even having the conversation. when Jesus invades a persons life, he does what he does, makes us new. celibacy is no difference in this situation than in a heterosexual lifestyle, and we don't look at that with disdain.

sexuality should not define who we love nor who we extend the grace of Jesus to. nor should race, creed, religion, hair color or class.

we all realized our lack of compassion at one point or another, lack of understanding at why we are the way we are, sadness at the church's treatment of people in general who are different from the "normal" definition of a christian.

forgiveness. grace. mercy. love. acceptance. these are words that define our Lord Jesus. these same words should define his children...the same children who bear his name, his likeness, his mission. how dare us demand they, these who are labeled for a specific sin, come to Christ in any way but as they are, in need of a savior. it is his responsibility to do with sin as he will in the lives of his children. it is our call to treat them as he does...the same as he treats us.

it was not our mission to solve the theological battles that rage on between scholars and teachers of scripture. nor was it our mission to sweep sin away like a pile of sand. it was not our purpose to change the entire view in which we are seen as judgmental, backward, unforgiving people who are not aware of changing times. it was not our plan to develop a statement to apologize for actions of people who hate people.

it was our desire to see where we have failed to love others and decide to change ourselves as we advance the kingdom of God as lovers of his Son, and reflections of his glory.

we all agreed on that.

you want some of this?

prepping for a talk at the local college. had thought prayer would be the discussion and emphasis, and still may be. but today, my thoughts have been on Phi 3.

i have at times, pursued Christ like a child wanting a cool drink on a hot summer day. other times it has been like a "cocaine addict" messy and helpless. others still, like a minister, seeking some kind of insight for a text i would be teaching on. fear has been a motivation to seek, as has guilt.

but in all my years, as much as i desired, as many times as i may have said it, i have not sought to share in the sufferings of Christ.

i read through Phil 3 earlier. and the text jumped off the page and kicked in the lock i had placed on my heart. i saw it there. in the midst of these words i had seen and heard so many times, the passionate love one man has for his God.

don't get me wrong. i have a love for Him. but it occurred to me today that the courtship that had taken place seemed to have become safe and comfortable. the seeking for just a glimpse of his face had turned into a nice, pleasant affair that was ok...but not all or nothing.

not gonna get all theological here. someone else can do that. that has left me bored and without love for people. especially toward those who need more than theology. what i will get is the fire of a courtship that had beckoned me from all i have and ever wanted. it is certainly not that theology is bad, but the discussion of theology had left me with a faith that had turned inward.

never suffered for faith. i have had people in my life suffer illness, lost loved ones, had difficult things to deal with. but not for the glory of God and the gospel. even now, i am not sure what it would mean to share in Christ's sufferings.

but i do know this. what i have, and there is not much, i surrender it. indeed, that all i am and all i desire would be given for the unsurpassed worth of knowing Christ, and be found in him. what ever that means.

kinda funny how things become simple when we get older.