6.23.2006

In a dry and thristy...

done for a bit.

seem to have hit a wall of sorts.

time to refuel.

6.22.2006

"The Church is The Shit"

before you go and get all "brother, it would serve you best if you would not curse" on me, you gotta hear this story.

our church is in the throws of what we are calling The Summer of Service. not original. borrowed it, as most good baptists do, from another church.

anyway.

we bought 10,000 bottles of water to give away this summer. no cards, three fold pamphlets, to give out with the water, just a no strings attached way to meets one of life's basic needs...thirst. we have been to the beach, last week me and the yutes went to a skate deal with hard core bands, and every thursday we go down town jensen beach to this deal called "jammin in Jensen." it is a street party of sorts, crafts, music, food...you know the deal.

as I have always been in the habit of doing, I use these opportunities to dialogue with folks about their thoughts on salvation and the church. I get good answers, and bad ones. many of the things I write about here come from some of these answers.

I see these 2 guys coming from about 50 yards away. black, metal studs, nasty looking, tall mohawk, and carrying a guitar. I thought it was Moses at first. they seemed to spliting the crowd as they came towards me.

I like talking to guys klike this more than the blue button down and khaki wearing folks that seem to have become the poster boys for good clean christian fun. they seem more honest to me. almost daring you to comment on their attire.

so I say..."excuse me guys, how about a cold bottle of water?"

"sweet!" one says, "we just walked 6 miles to get here so we can do some street perfoming to get some cash so we can eat."

the smell of cigarettes and BO was oozing from them as they wiped the sweat from their foreheads.

I asked them to give me an honest answer to a question.

"what is the first things that comes to mind when you hear the word...church?"

mohawk guy, who goes by "mad dog" says, "don't think much about it. never really got into it. not my thing."

metal guy, whose name is preston, says "dude, the church is the shit! I am totally into it. I am catholic, and I really dig the structure."

so, you are a regular attender? I asked

naaa. they dont really like the way I look there. so I mostly just feel it, you know?

by the way, he forgot the words to a neil young. song. I put in a 5er and told him to buy the sheet music and learn the words.

here are what others had to say about the church, and its impact on them and their lives...

I guess, If I grew up going, I would go now.
I was good whan I was younger, but not so much lately.
not really interested.
my mom goes, but not me.
its good and all, but not much interesting stuff for me.
I practice church in my heart.
people need to be in church.
over all we need church, but I am so busy.

I realized to night what a cold bottle of water can do for someone who is thirsty. I realized tonight, what people need is to know we are full of more than talk about stuff, but our words are backed up by actions. I realized tonight, just how much I used to smell whan I smoked. can't really say I loved these guys. but i was moved to act. it kinda freaked them out.

Sheri and I gave the 2 freaks a ride home. bought them some supper, and shared christ. 2 of the most polite, well manored, cussing every other word young men I have ever met. it was a pleasure to have met them.

seeds I guess.

but as we talked to a couple of drunks, some bikers, and some church folks, people are keenly aware of our agendas.

I am not sure if the church is the shit or not.

I am sure we were the church tonight. and I am sure we are more the church when we are mobile. I am sure we are more like jesus intended when we meet a need rather than gathering committees to talk about it. I am sure we are more like jesus when we give out a cold drink in His name, or a burger, or even a pretzel.

bizarre though. been on staff at churches for about 10 years. never felt like I was the church till tonight. the Spirit has loossed something in me during the past few weeks. feel like I lost some weight.

anybody wanna go?

we got plenty of water.

6.19.2006

A walk on part in the war

I wonder sometimes. probably not enough.

seems pointless.

here, viewpoints, walls...seperation.

there used to be marks. they knew us by them. they saw and heard. sacrifice was painful. suffering was desired.

now...word bombs are thrown. explosions of emotion and dogmatic lines in the sand spew molten flesh on us from hidden places.

trying to justify places in what seem like battle.

philistines taunt Him, and we taunt them. mostly we taunt each other.

falsehoods erupt as if truth, and it must be respected for fear of attack.

someone is bbq-ing.

tollerance is mearly fear with a turtleneck.

political power is the fruit to be desired. the need to be told what to do and not to do is often overwhelming. with out them, how would we know?

spineless debutaunts dressed with satin and pleasant aroma fill the senses.

simple tasks seem fleeting.

no score to be kept, no way of measurement.

bodies are stacked up like chord wood ready for the fire.

where are my keys?

statues with clay feet rise up and beckon us to come.

and sheep follow the loudest bell, failing to glance up at the noise.

purification comes only through fire, yet cooler temps are preferred.

genuine thought is as rare and delicate as the spring blossom.

war?

what war?

has anyone seen my camera?

do we charge or should we ambush?

the manual does not deal with this horror. or does it?

reality. questions. darts. armor.

kill or capture? ememy or friend?

I am pretty sure all I was supposed to do did not prepare me for this.

wait. I did not drink today. did not commit adultry. did not steal. did not kill. said a prayer.

all is well.

6.12.2006

Lunatic Fringe

I been around. traveled all the lower 48. Iran, Turkey, Mexico, Scotland, Cuba, Canada. seen some beautiful places and met some beautiful people.

all is all, most folks are the same. well...mostly.

sameness is boring. I used to have a sticker on my car that read..."you laugh at me cause I am different. I laugh at you cause you're all the same."

there is some truth to that you know. the problem with that is what scares me. especially in various houses of worship I have been in and visited through the years.

it is like we became part of this tribe. white middle to upper class white folks who drive suv's and talk the same language. talk the same, have the same political views, dress more or less the same, and run with the herd. those who get culled from the heard are quickly branded as trouble makers and rebels who refuse to conform to the sameness that drowns us in "anal retentivity". by the way, that last part is a quote from my pastor. he said that from the pulpit on sunday.

now. i love suv's. some of my best friends have em. I want one.

and we are more comfortable with those who bare the same likeness as we do. it is comfortable. white folks go to white churches and so on.

this is where I leave the herd...

there are litterally millions of weirdo's in this world. some talk to themselves, some pee onthemselves, some don't bathe, some are demacrats, some are republicans, some ride bikes to work, some are vegetarians, some eat fish, some pray, some use prayer rugs, some like tom jones, others like Godsmak. I want to meet them all.

good conversation has taken on a whole new thought for me. good meaning real. a real conversation with a homeless man I gave a cold bottle of water to the other day consisted of mumbeling that was not legible in any form...but it was real. conversations I have with my dear friend dub about life and music. real. honest. provoking.

deep soul thoughts that rise up when the herd runs by are my favorite. I stand at the watering hole alone sometimes, maybe with one or 2 more who are like me. then the herd shows up and shows the proper way to drink. now they look with this weird look. now I hear the whispers...now I feel the darts. yea, the enemy is always close by, I can hear him roaring and hunting around. but it keeps me sharp and my senses are on edge. safety is not why I was culled from the group. nor was weakness. it was willingness.

it is not enough anymore just not to agree. there must be provocation, deep thought and honesty. the repetitive garble that comes from the herd sounds more like charlie browns teacher than anything.

few add to the dialogue. same old stuff. catch phrases. typical.

give me a grunt, a mumble, flip me off...just don't tow the companty line if you can't be honest enough to open up.

we all use Jesus to justify our thought process. and truthfully, it depends more on our characteristics on which jesus we see.

I see the one who said "eat my flesh and drink my blood." "count the cost" "white washed tombs."

probably casue the company line has become so pharaseic today. we do all we can to justify what happens and what we do.

sameness has caused us to leave the drunks in the bars, whores on the street, druggies out of sight. becasue we don't want the herd to see us talking to them...it may not look right.

divorce in the church is catastrophic. pornography has become one of the biggest problems on seminary campuses. there is more effort to helping people feel whole than teaching holiness.

partly becasue of our desire to remain deep in the herd so as to remain safe from the attacks from the preditor?

the lunatics of the world were and will always be the on the leading edge of change.

John the Baptist was a lunatic.
Jesus was a lunatic. Original lunatic.
the 11 were lunatics.
Paul was a lunatic
Calvin, Luther, Augustine, all lunatics.
Jonathon Edwards...lunatic.
John Piper...lunatic.
Billy Graham...lunatic.
Lee Bennett...lunatic.
bkj...lunatic
uprising...lunatic.

some folks I know have lunatic tendancies.

I know you're out there...I am glad you exist. lunatics and freaks and members of the movement...I can hear you coming.

Lunatic Fringe
I know you're out there
You're in hiding
And you hold your meetings
We can hear you coming
We know what you're after
We're wise to you this time
We won't let you kill the laughter
Ton Cochrane

6.09.2006

Closer to the Heart

I had an online conversation with a college student who was part of a church I used to serve in. funny, I seem to be in touch with more and more students who i had the priveledge to minister to recently. the conversation, sadly enough, has become like a scratch on a CD...playing the same part over and over again.

the words "conned, disalusioned, weary, game playing" were used while describing how they felt after a life of church attendance. mind you, we are not talking about students who were scarce in their attendance. we are talking about good, solid, faithful young people who bought into the reality they were being taught.

the reality is this..."is this it?" "you mean to tell me that after all this, this is what I have to look forward to?"

we lose 88% of all church going High School Students when they graduate and go off to college. why?

we have told them that the entireity of their faith consists of their actions. and these actions are merely there to please those who are like them...the church culture.

we have failed to teach them to think. expand their minds. lose the box and be free.

we have failed to give them examples of jesus followers who actually infiltrate the culture. rather, what they see is a building full of like minded people who are afraid to be different. a group of individuals who actually believe that the church exists for the members rather than the truth that it exists for the non members.

not true?

allow me to demonstrate...

members decide on style. both music and preaching. jesus is rarely consulted or asked about such things. these are matters of prefference. after all, if the king james was good enough for paul, it is good enough for me.

members decide on atmosphere. most guests are not actually engaged, but given the old "hi, how are you?"
members decide on programs. most are decided on based on what will bring in the most members so they can give money. after all, we are slaves to a morgage. think not? look at the financials. especially after the insurance will quadruple this year...especially in FL.

true outside the door ministry is foriegn to most members. rather, we are groups of sponges who are so full of teaching with no outlet, we stink up the joint. 92% of christians NEVER share their faith.

funny thing is, even though I have said these things many times, these are thoughts from college students in different parts of the state of Florida. all faithful while they were in High School, but are not as interested in maintaining the passionless attitudes they see in us and them selves.

a failure to teach our children, from the earliest age, to think...actually think about the wonder that is God has led to a mass exodus from the ranks of those who are not their own and exist to proclaim the glory of another. sadly, we have turned the thought process that is supposed to be filled with expectancy and passion for jesus, into a love fest for individual wants and desire.

we have failed them in teaching them they are the PEOPLE of God. rather, the American dream to get and accomplish and build up treasures for ourselves has taken center stage. get all we can while we can. why? so we can tear down our barns and build bigger ones...just to hold all the stuff we want.

never has the task of teaching been more important. turning a movement that cost great men of faith their lives into a no sex, no drinking, no cussing activity has turned something beautiful into something less than.

the sacred romance between our God and his children needs to be rekindled. we have played the whore long enough.

do we really believe that jesus died just so we can be happy? or sucessful? or wealthy? or wise?
can the reality of investing our life in his kingdom be such a foriegn thought to us?
does the radical thought that the church belongs to jesus actually mean anything?
can mere self gratification of those who sit and watch the game from the sideline be the point?
do we really expect those who give the most money decide what happens in our houses of worship?
can we actually change what was thought to be a word from God simply becasue a couple of the long time members don't like it?
is all we are about is no gay marriage?
is our rallying cry the abortion debate?
do we actually believe our country would be a better place if we put the 10 commandments up in public places? they were up for years.

sadly...yes. yes we do.

don't think so? look with a critical (unbiased) eye at the entirety of our american christian faith. if we could teach our kids to question everything with an honest desire to understand, we would be forced to be different. students today fail to accept "just becasue it is the way things are" answers. we do, cause we are lazy.

"some folks are not going to the mission field becasue they feel like they are not called. we don't need a call, we need a kick in the pants." jim elliot 1948

real thoughts from real conversations. true or not? you decide. but if we don't have the satchel to deal with the exodus...then God help us.



And the men who hold high places
Must be the ones who start
To mold a new reality
Closer to the heart Closer to the heart

The blacksmith and the artist
Reflect it in their art
They forge their creativity
Closer to the heart
Yes, closer to the heart

Philosophers and ploughmen
Each must know his part
To sow a new mentality
Closer to the heart
Yes, closer to the heart, yeah

You can be the Captain
And I will draw the chart
Sailing into destiny
Closer to the Heart
Closer to the Heart
Well, closer to the Heart, yeah

RUSH

6.05.2006

out of sight...out of...

I read an article in last weeks Time mag that has yet to escape my thoughts.

It saddens me that I have become narrow minded in my faith. it saddens me more that although I try with great energy, a christian worldview seems more elusive now than it was last year.

all things tend to be filtered through the net of Americana. all that is good and well, sucessful and fullness of belly. and while I allow my thoughts to scan the horizon of foreign shores and all the horror that is their reality, I have realized that I just don't care.

after all, the 4 million who have died in the Congo during the civil war there is not my reality. nither is the earthquake in java, nor was the tsunami. as horrible and sad as these events are and were, the sadness and desire to help fades quickly from my thoughts. besides, my church is not doing enough. I have to complain about that.

and we all know that there are much more pressing issues here. like music styles, whether or not church people treat me nice, carpet color, where to eat tonight, what to wear tomorrow, and most importantly...church people are still mean.

4 million people. dead.

Ruwanda.

Darfur.

Yogoslavia.

death. hate.

ipod. outback. movies. new cars. pick up shirts from the cleaners. trips to theme parks. youth camp. base tan. 100.00 tennis shoes. laptop. triple shot venti white choclate mocha.

so. the truth is, most of us fail to understand the importance of a world view. becasue we tend to view Jesus as a white, blue eyed pretty boy, it hampers our ability to look beyond our borders. not only with our eyes, but with the eyes of our children.

is it true? are we actually just one generation away from losing our world vision?

can we as believers actually be so close to not passing on to our children an active faith that pursues the God of heaven and earth and by example teach them to settle for an american version that is really only concerned with the well being and beauty and success of this country?

I believe so.

I could be wrong though. after all, all we need worry about is that we just tell each other it is all about love. right? I wonder how much love those in Darfur feel now. or how loved those in the Congo feel.

as i journey down the narrow way, I am finding it more and more difficult to justify one word catch phrases that fail to deal with the reality of all that is happening in the world.

Luke 13:1-9
Now on the same occasion there were some present who reported to Him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2 And Jesus said to them, " Do you suppose that these Galileans were greater sinners than all other Galileans because they suffered this fate? 3 "I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. 4 "Or do you suppose that those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them were worse culprits than all the men who live in Jerusalem? 5 "I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish."
6 And He began telling this parable: "A man had a fig tree which had been planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and did not find any. 7 "And he said to the vineyard-keeper, 'Behold, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree without finding any. Cut it down! Why does it even use up the ground?' 8 "And he answered and said to him, 'Let it alone, sir, for this year too, until I dig around it and put in fertilizer; 9 and if it bears fruit next year, fine; but if not, cut it down.'"


perception is not reality.