anticipation

it is late. there are numerous thoughts, regrets, fears, and exciting possibilities running through my mind. i sit and think and already i am looking forward to my time with Him. already anticipating Daniel 3. looking forward to our time together has become more and more wonderful.

after some time with Him, i leave for Birmingham AL for a national club meeting. 650 miles one way on my bike is something i have been looking forward to for some time now. i am anticipating some definite direction from the trip. words of confirmation, direction, poured into my mind and heart as i get away for a few days. funny how we, i, me, always have ideas of who, when and where things should take place. things always look different as the vision cooks for a bit. things added that did not taste good then, things taken away after the realization it was not the taste we were looking for.

i am anticipating change. change in my thoughts, change in my attitudes, change in my behaviour, change in my situation. longing for what i do not yet know is a bit testy. resting in the longing has been satisfying but strange.

a door has been closed it seems, but there has been no rush to open another, only wait. no need to crawl through a window, as i have been told before, my Father wants me walking in with eyes wide open.

looking forward to rest.
looking forward to a few moments with my daughter and granddaughter. can only stay a few moments.
looking forward to the soul scratch that is coming.
looking forward to seeing dub for coffee. Lord, thanks for him.
looking forward to 24/7. looking forward to finally getting that stuff sent out.
looking forward to seeing her again. just been gone for a day, but it is always to long.
looking forward to seeing my son and grandson on Sunday, only if for a few moments on the way home.
looking forward to growing old with her.
looking forward to time with Him. more time, sweeter time, unhindered time.
looking forward to then.

enjoying now.
living in now.
resting in now.
free now.
loving now.
changing now.
worshiping now.
dreaming of changing the world now, active in advancing the kingdom now.

going to bed now.