i shoulda been dead by now

i am constantly amazed at my arrogance toward my faith and my lord. why he allows me to take another breath is beyond me.

i sit and remember my life before grace, the life that honored no one. held in bondage to sin and dead. no hope and no direction. i was not supposed to live past 20 or so. the wild life was bound to kill me. living in complete danger and being naive in regards to mortality.

i should have been dead by now.

11Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called "uncircumcised" by those who call themselves "the circumcision" (that done in the body by the hands of men)— 12remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. 13But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. Eph 2 11-13

so rich in mercy and grace is our lord. so wonderful in all he does, so beautiful are his ways and his statutes. how can i neglect such a wonderous love? i can't

in reality, i am dead. dead to sin and the power it once had over me. i have been crucified with christ, it is no longer i who lives but christ who lives in me. the life i now live in the flesh i live by faith in the one who loved me and gave himself for me.

death will come to all. i get to experience it here.

thanks lord, for loving me enough to kill me when i was powerless to see the difference.