Primal Scream

Downloading from the events that took place over the holiday season has me a bit disillusioned, and at the same time memories of my family roots bring a smile to my face.

we went for the red neck deal for Christmas. Mississippi all the way. Red clay roads, directions that involved EST paved to the right, second dirt road to the left kinda deal.

I am proud of my heritage. proud to know my family. saw some folks I had not seen in 7 - years, and we picked up where we left off.

I do find that the tempo of my voice seems to slow down about 3 beats, but there was a relaction that was beautiful. as beautiful and innocent as a Chrisistmas morn.

best visit home in many years.

neither of our kids were with us for the first time. did not like how that came about.

but so leaves the dsisluionment.

I hear the word drama alot lately. when some thing other than normal come into life. extra stuff that seems to catch us off guard. we even have those who we can count on constantly for the blessing of drama. we know when we wee these folks...Drama follows.

different view...Drama is as much as part of life as anything we do...Like socks ans shoes,, waiting in line at the bank, getting cut off in traffic. A loved one being beat on by a spouse, an unmet expectation of a child, death, hurt, pain, frustration.

we look at it as extra. So we use words like drama to make it sound worse than what ITT really is.
it is just life. Daily life in people we know. About 1 inch below the surface of most people we know are hurting, sad, lonely, broke, sex before marriage, extra sex after marriage, marriages falling apart, drugs and drinking....All this is in the chore.

this is not drama. This is life.

where do we go to deal with this life? Some pray gently, although meaningfully for god to change the situation based either on their willingness to follow Him and be obededient. Truth is, our obedience no more causes God to show more affection toward us just for being obedient. That is what we are supposed to do. Be obedient.

where do we then go to deal with all this life we are daily confronted with? Who would Jesus have us deal with the pain in the world?

Scream! Scream for mercy and grace for the father. For with out our daily realizing with out His grace and mercy, we are helpless and useless. All we have to hang on to is His promises.
Seeking first the kingdom keeps us line up with the flowing blessings and mercy, not cause we have done anything to merit favor, for the opposite is true. But because in sin and obedience, all we have is grace and mecry.

we cannot face another to minister grace to unless we know that grace. The fruit of the spirit must be used fresh as rthey are picked from the vine, they cannot be used a jam in the fridge to pull out as we need.

face it. We all have drama in our life. Unexpected realities with kids, career, church, just to name a few.

but when the stuff gets to deep... I SCREAM. A PRIMAL SCREAM that comes in from the depths of my soul. One that shakes the stuff off the wall inmy mind, one that hocks up the flem of typical.

I choose to scream. He is all I got I can rely on. the only one who love me in sin and infake obedience with the wrong motives, and in the scams and games I want to play so I can get back in ministry. He is all I have .

maybe I'll hear you sometime