Legacy

Life is different when you understand a few things. The following is what I have learned after a weekend with my now walking Grandson...Jackson.

-I hurry way to much
-Living in the moment is more than a saying...It is truly a gift.
-Communication is still basically about pointing and grunting.
-The son of my son. He will be a better father than I was.
-I will be a better grandfather than mine was. Why? Cause I want to.
-Funny, I did not think at all about the post modern, emerging or traditional church. I thought about his place in the Kingdom. Him knowing the God of his father and his grandfather.
-I want 10 grandkids.

The issues that clouded my mind for so long mean nothing now. Not because I do not think they were important, but because they were misguided efforts at a revolution.

Jesus spoke to me this week end..."The revolution you seek is one of the heart, and it begins in your heart, and the hearts of your family. Teach them, teach them to teach their children. There was only one man who did it all, and it was not you...It was Me."

Legacy. This is mine.

That Smell

"Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars
Oak tree you're in my way
There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you"

Lynyrd Skynyrd

A few years ago, I as at a youth camp with a couple of other churches. The speaker for the week, and I were standing around talking about stuff. Then it happened. They came walking around the corner. He was pimped out in the normal teen garb, hat turned sideways, and pants falling off his arse, wearing a "wife beater." She, scantily clad and snuggled up close while his well placed hand cradled her left cheek. When they saw us, they parted, only to get closer as they thought we were out of sight. The air reeked of cologne and perfume as they passed.

My friend took a deep breath of air and said "do you smell that?" "what, the perfume?" I asked. "No my friend, that is the unmistakable smell of depravity." He took another stong breath and said "Smell the depravity."

I laughed. But the comment has stayed with me through the years.

Being a recovering addict, I often refer to the lyrics above. Years of abuse left me all but hopeless, with the stench of death looming, waiting to crouch at my every display of addictive actions.

But the smell of depravity is quite different. What I have learned is that most of the time, when I would get a whiff of it, it came from an outside source. Not the case this week.

I have been in conversations with Mike about life, marriage, faith and addictions. While we are making some progress, he is not yet been rousted by the Holy Spirit. and all the conversations we have had has opened up a memory bank that i had only refered to in the past, actually thought I had locked away, looking back from time to time so as to check the door to make sure it was still locked.

Redemption is a gloriuos act of a loving and pursuing God. with out cause, but by His own greatness and grace, He has saved me.

Sometimes, when the relationship is clicking on all cylenders, there is a sweetness in the air. An odor of the wondrous, a smell of the Holy.

the last year of my life has been filled with the stench of pride and depravity. I tried to cover the odor with perfumes, actions and other things, just as I tried to cover the smell of weed in my room when my mother would knock on the door. it did not work then, it does not work now.

but like death, depravity has an overpowering smell. It cannot be covered. If ignored it can affect food, simple daily things and family. thoughts, actions and reality.

I have been beating my self with out mercy for my actions in the past year. Leaving and turning away from ministry, running away with my tail between my legs in shame. I missed something. somewhere i missed a road sign, did not listen to direction. and it cost me, dearly.

enough is enough.

forgiveness and restoration are not mythical acts of a distant God, nor are they theoretical thoughts we cannot understand. They are truths found in Scripture and concrete places I am standing...Firm, with great resolve. The games I have played with my self in order to play out this self imposed exile are over. And I lost.

Wilderness wanderings can teach great lessons. IF we look truthfully at the cause.

The sweetness of a Honey Suckle flower on a spring day fills the air as the breeze sends it across the area. The same is true of That Smell of Presence. It is permeating the room in which I sit. It over powers even the smell depravity, death and pride.

simple lessons learned from a scared past, laced with pride, salvation and forgiveness.

Take a deep breath...Breathe deep. Breathe in all that He is and all that we are not. Breathe in all He has given and exhale all He is not.

just breathe. Can you smell it?

I can. Finally.

True Equality

Probably one of the last places in this country where people cannot get over by who they know, where they live, how much money they have, or what kind of car they drive, is the Drivers license office.

Today I sat and was amazed at the different people who came through that office. Rich, poor, black, white, brown, yellow, young, old...They all were there. And no matter who they were before they came in that office, they, we, were all reduced to a number when we sat down.

next to me was a man from India, or someplace who smelled like BO, or strong onions. On the otherside was a wanna be rapper. Across from me was a nicely dressed woman and her preppie son. A Spanish man and his wife sat quietly main g no eye contact with anyone. An old man was talking to any one who would listen. We were all brought together for a moment in time for the same purpose. Driving.

I thought about all my years as a minister and professional Christian. Each Sunday and Wed I was with so many different types of people, but mostly the same color, for a purpose. But then I realized how many times I had come to church with my own agenda. Sucking up to certain people to get something, playing the game. Then I realized that if I had done this, others must have to. Thinking the agenda was the same, but now understanding that most of the time I had come not to see Jesus, but to fulfill a certain duty or get something for my self.

every body there today was there to get or fix their driving priveledges. All I needed to do was change the address on mine, but the same was true.

Salvation is a common need for all people. Color, creed, standing in the community does not matter. Today was a big deal for me. All my life I have gone to churches with white bread middle class people. No color in the crowd but blue...(hair) if we are all as believers going to worship around the throne of God, why not get a jump on that?

My thinking has been challenged. Just by getting my drivers license changed.

what is it going to take for us all to wake up to the inclusiveness of the Gospel?

Same old song and dance

His world is falling down around him. His wife has had enough of constant drinking and neglect. He will not see his kids each day. She is packing up and moving and he is not on the packing list.

His name is Mike. He works with me. His heart is broken. He has realized the err of his ways, possibly to late.

Oddly, I believe it is part of my calling to minister to him. I am al to familiar with the situation. I have walked this road before. I have known the pain of separation, the hurt of loss, the lack of desire to go forward.

I am asking you who read to pray for Mike. Not for the return of what he has lost, but an open heart for Jesus to save him.

and for me as I minister grace to his hurting heart.

thanks

Cuban cigars

I read an article about a youth group that ministered in an inner city. Good stuff. It is cool to hear of a youth guy who has missions and actually sharing the Gospel as a priority. Funny though, so many youth groups are expected to do that...But so many pastors go a year and never share the Gospel.

The article mentioned this phrase..."When God shows up."

no knock on the writer, cause I have used this phrase many times, as have many others. But as I read, I was reminded of David. "Where can I go from Your presence?"
Truth is, it is not God who shows up, it is us. He is already there...Preparing, moving, loving, healing and saving. We just get to see it happen.

I had a conversation with a true thinker today. A man who is not satisfied with milk toast faith. These men are not many in numbers. Most of us (me too) are not interested in the real emphasis of being a people of God, we just want blessings personally. Corperately, as a people of God we are brain dead. But, after all God loves you...And that includes your mind. I long for the day when I can love Him with all that I am, including the mind that seems to be filled with stuff that will make MY life better...Protect MY family...Keep Me from hardships...Give ME a good day. You get the picture.

This week, there will continue to be more arguing and trash talking about something that has not yet happened than concern about lost souls. I wish we as a people of God would be more concerned about those who live and die with out Jesus than a supreme court nominee. Hey...Is that you in that political picture? Or is that you at visitation? Or maybe that is you at the shelter...

I have learned more about relaxation by being at a minor league ball game than from anything I have done.

it is possible we have now become what fear most? Ineffective? Irrelevant? I was such a huge advocate of technology in ministry, yet now I fear that I may have tried to create an atmosphere of eye candy rather than give Scripture it's place...

Billy Graham is a democrat! HAHAHAHA!!! That messed up a large number of right winger evangelical. Funny...Could Jesus really not be republican? Will the heavens split open and the waters dry up? Stay tuned...Clinton is a Southern Baptist...Just goes to show ya. Politics and religion. You never know.

Why is it that all these so called prophets and televangelists claim to have the answers to health, success and happiness, yet, they sell their wares? If it will really change our lives...As a believer, shouldn't it be free??? Why is there no faith healers in the emergency room? And why, someone please tell me why do they have the combover? Can't Jesus heal that???

I took a look back today. If I were to die tonight, I am content with my life. coulda done more, said more, but I have loved deeply, been loved passionately and have had the opportunity to do what I love. My life is good. My wife is a wonder, my kids are grown and know Jesus, and I have grandchildren. Smoked a Cuban cigar, tasted some fine brew, tasted great food, seen many magnificent places on His creation and have been blessed with some great friends. From this point on...Every thing else is gravy. Thanks for this life Lord.