take it up.

i had wanted so much for the words to be right. for 7 days, i let it mature in my mind. felt like it was what i needed to say. the words had been burned into my soul recently. a natural step for all believers, what we all need to hear.





but for some reason it seemed as though the timing was wrong. maybe it was not the right time.





i have seldom been so frustrated as i was tonight.





what seemed like the perfect time for a word was anything but. scattered teen angst, some freaky beepin noise that ruined what was left of a guarded moment for the hearers to connect.





the words have become heavy. almost to heavy to carry. there is a destination for them, but where is not known...today.





maybe tomorrow. maybe then there will be an opening. maybe then, the words, dripping with the spirit, with life, with death, can find rest in the heart of some one.





maybe, just maybe, the reality of the task has come. to long for these words to find their target in the souls of those around me. maybe the heaviness is here because of the prayers. prayers for the ministry of reconciliation and connection.





i had no idea they would be so heavy. no idea that it would hurt so bad when the words were not heard. no clue that it would be so painful.





heavy is this cross.

take it up.