Spiritual Lust

"But we were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel. Indeed, besides all this, it is the third day since these things happened." Luke 24:21

I have spent a great deal of time and effort lusting after the faith of other people.

the reality is this. God never intended me to have Paul's faith, Peter's faith, my Pastor's faith, or anyone elses faith.

"to each is given a measure of faith."

I have read so many post modern emerging modernchurch books my freakin eyes hurt. spent time following the creedo of the modern movement.

by the way, what kind of place in life do you have to be in, or what certification process do you go throuh to be able to call your self a "futurist?" or what about "cultural visionary?"

anyway...I digress.

I read this passage and it hit me. listen to these guys walking along and conversing with each other as Jesus comes along and asks what they are talking about. it all came down to "we were hoping it was He that was going to reddem Israel."

we had hoped.

"what did you go out to see? a reed shaken by the wind? a man dressed in fine clothing?"

we all have an idea of what His work ought to look like. and if we don't we borrow some one elses version. especially if it has a good hook, or resides a bit outside our normal travels.

such has bene the case for me.

I saw something, read some ideas and became jealous for what they had. not wanting to develop my own relationship, rather try to get what they had.

pitiful.

I have lusted after women, cars, motorcycles, money, my wife, big screen TV's, computers, freedom, houses, drugs, sleep, weight loss, sex and now as a sort of icing to the crap cake of lust, I add some one elses faith.

Job said that he "made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at another woman."

today, my wandering eyes days at the faith of another, or my version of how I think the whole deal should play out...are over.

so let it be written...so let it be done.