been home with out my love. i forget how much she means to me, her smell, her smile.
will see her tomorrow, but now i miss her. there is an ache in my soul when she is not here with me.
this is for my baby...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfRies4SRgk
see you soon
6.11.2007
5.31.2007
rites of passage
if we have lost one thing in our modern culture, it is rites of passage.
moving from childhood to adulthood is done quietly and with out much fanfare anymore. there is a recognition of grads...they get to wear their cap and gowns in church. we do celebrate marriage with drunken evenings, but that is about it.
when my son left home and moved out on his own, we had a family service and sent him out to serve the god of his father. i laid my hands on him, blessed him in jesus name and sent him out as a man. just like Isaac did. just like Jacob did. i am not sure it meant much to my son, but i will never forget it.
tonight, we celebrated a friends ordination.
as i laid my hands on him to pray, it hit me between the eyes. we were participating in the same event that had happend to timothy. there is heritage in that, deep roots in the christian faith. a rite of passage.
as we gloss over many of the traditions that have been in our faith, we must remember that it is in the remeberance of traditions that keep us connected. lest we become to modern and forget our heritage and beginings.
i remembered when i was ordained. as i took my place amoung the thousands who came before me and with my brothers who will come, i recall the laying on of hands and fan into flame the fire that is deep within my soul. i was reminded again tonight, the possibility and opportunity to be called a minister of the gospel. i also remembered the heaviness of responsibility, the reality of teaching true biblical principles, the accountability of being ready and righteous. the harsh ness of a confrontational salvation.
some one asked what his calling was. it made me think of my own...expanding the minds understanding of who god his, what his word says, and how i should live in view of those truths.
it is not ours to rewrite what the early fathers have written, only to continue the conversation. it is not ours to leave the church, but build her up in love and leadership.
taking our place amoung the faithful of god ties me directly with the prophets of old, the disciples and great men who have given their lives for the gospel.
i miss the days when stories were told of great rites of passage. i miss the days when it meant something to be part of a community of faith. i miss the stories of great moves of god that were told around a table or a fire.
oh that we would treasure the passages from one phase to another, one age to another.
on another note...my first grandaughter was born yesterday.
meet Ava Rowan...i have not met her, but she has already wrapped me around her finger.
maybe, just maybe, it will be her and jackson that will change the world. maybe they will live with recklace abandon toward their god. maybe...
5.28.2007
i remember
there are many who grieve today. grieve at the loss of a brother, sister, son or daughter...uncle, aunt, dad, mom. lives lost in war.
people who gave their lives for an ideal.
people who believed in what they were doing.
people who sacrificed the ultimate...their lives.
i remember them today.
this country was built on the blood and sacrifice of those who have fought in wars. war that defended our way of life. i can bitch and moan at the degridation of morality and faith becasue otehrs died to make it so.
for all the freedoms i enjoy were purchased on the death of men and women who gave.
what pisses me off the most is what makes us great. difference. we cannot expect to be heard unless we are willing to listen. we cannot expect to live free untill others are willing to die. we cannot realize safety until someone stands guard on the wall.
to all who gave, thanks. for all who remain in service, thanks. for you who are abroad and fighting while we back here complain...i am sorry. you are who we need to be. thanks for your sacrifice and your willingness.
american 1
people who gave their lives for an ideal.
people who believed in what they were doing.
people who sacrificed the ultimate...their lives.
i remember them today.
this country was built on the blood and sacrifice of those who have fought in wars. war that defended our way of life. i can bitch and moan at the degridation of morality and faith becasue otehrs died to make it so.
for all the freedoms i enjoy were purchased on the death of men and women who gave.
what pisses me off the most is what makes us great. difference. we cannot expect to be heard unless we are willing to listen. we cannot expect to live free untill others are willing to die. we cannot realize safety until someone stands guard on the wall.
to all who gave, thanks. for all who remain in service, thanks. for you who are abroad and fighting while we back here complain...i am sorry. you are who we need to be. thanks for your sacrifice and your willingness.
american 1
5.27.2007
day at disney and pirate wood
after spewing bile from the depths of my frustration last week, it was a pleasure to spend the day with my son and his family for the big 3rd birthday celebration of my grandson jackson. it had been a while since i have been to dinsey, and quite honestly, had reservations about how things would go.
most people start out well at those places, then after bout an hour, things seem to go awry. such was the case with us. from the begining of the day till the time we left it was most pleasant and enjoyable.
watching the wonder in the eyes of a 3 year old is something i would suggest everyone do. there is a beauty inside the soul of a child as they see things for the first time.
my son and his wife have become wonderful parents. it is a pleasure to see them interact with their son.
the most interesting ride of the day had to be the pirate ride. it was all going quite well till the end. i look up at the trio of sea going outlaws as they played the old pirates life for me bit, and was taken aback by what was seemingly staring me in the face. the guitar playing pirate was sporting a bit of pirate wood. not sure i know what else to say about that.
i am continually amazed at how both my kids have grown into wonderful people. expectations of how parents will fit into the whole picture after marriage are often difficult at best. but after a while, after a bit of re thinking, things seem to settle into the way they will be.
as i get older i realize that family means more to me than it did in my 20's. it is a trip we all have to make. the trouble is no one listens till they have to make it.
i have learned several things about my kids. they are different. they change even now every few years. they will be great parents and learn the way we did...by doing.
i have learned something about my self...i want many grandkids. and i am not at all interested in the pirate life anymore.
most people start out well at those places, then after bout an hour, things seem to go awry. such was the case with us. from the begining of the day till the time we left it was most pleasant and enjoyable.
watching the wonder in the eyes of a 3 year old is something i would suggest everyone do. there is a beauty inside the soul of a child as they see things for the first time.
my son and his wife have become wonderful parents. it is a pleasure to see them interact with their son.
the most interesting ride of the day had to be the pirate ride. it was all going quite well till the end. i look up at the trio of sea going outlaws as they played the old pirates life for me bit, and was taken aback by what was seemingly staring me in the face. the guitar playing pirate was sporting a bit of pirate wood. not sure i know what else to say about that.
i am continually amazed at how both my kids have grown into wonderful people. expectations of how parents will fit into the whole picture after marriage are often difficult at best. but after a while, after a bit of re thinking, things seem to settle into the way they will be.
as i get older i realize that family means more to me than it did in my 20's. it is a trip we all have to make. the trouble is no one listens till they have to make it.
i have learned several things about my kids. they are different. they change even now every few years. they will be great parents and learn the way we did...by doing.
i have learned something about my self...i want many grandkids. and i am not at all interested in the pirate life anymore.
5.25.2007
primal urgency
over the years i have tried to understand the trends of faith in our country. i have been lured into thoughts that seemed right, only to be reminded of the deception. post modern, modern, traditional, contemporary...all thoughts to salve our personal agendas. if it is old, it can't be right. we are special, this is how it is supposed to be.
it seems that the further we get from the cross of jesus (in time and focus), the further we are away from the actual teachings of Jesus, the further removed we are from ancient, the more willing we become to dilute and demean the gospels and scripture over all. sometimes i place on scripture what it does not place on itself...but it is a guide, a plum line, a cornerstone to hold as examples, doctirne and surity.
i have noticed as i read certain writings that a great deal talk about the acceptance of sin as hang ups and lifestyles, there exists a double standard of sorts. but the same people will write of an all encompassing love that makes it ok as long as you just love. at the same time any one who tries to dialogue about scripture, they are demeaned and dismissed as lacking in gnosis. like they have been enlightened. so love can't be there starting point...it must be agenda.
as we all know this is nothing new. for thousands of years people have rose from the ashes of orthodoxy and stated that the early fathers of the faith had it wrong. if they were influential, they were not at all right in their thinking.
we now have the benefit of hindsight, but we are as blind as ever.
most of the discussion comes at the thought of the american doctrine of ease and non confrontation. live and let live. don't judge, jesus did not so we should not. we are not allowed to stand against any teaching on love because to do so states that you are not loving.
we twist and manipulates words found not only in scripture, but make op thoughts and schemes to justify our own desire to be accepting for all BUT those who would be attempting to live in accordance with the morals found in scripture.
the sad thing is that it will get worse.
within 20 years the american church will lose it's non profit status. ministers who are now supported by the gifts of their congregation will become forced to hold jobs and preach. we should lose 75% of pastors then. members will stop giving when it does not become a tax issue.
people by the thousands will be rocked by some event that will send the membership fleeing from our churches because their faith will be thought to be proved wrong.
we will loses our influence in government. which will be a blessing, and then our faith will cease to be a political party, only to come to the realization that we have been whores since the days of Constantine
we will be forced back underground where we belong. returning to a movement that rises up to effect real change. not from the glorious houses of worship we now sit in, but from street corners and in ally ways and inner cities. not from the halls of government, but inside the skin suit.
our hope is only found in jesus christ. not the made up jesus we are hearing about, but the ugly one who was hung on a stick for the glory of his father.
we must conform to him as told in the old and new testaments, not our american version we have made into a cross between a rock star, a psycologist and mother teresa. we cannot pick and choose what we shall believe just to justify our sin and unwillingness to live in holiness.
our churches are filled with men whose egos are larger than the buildings in which they sit. the majority of us who serve on staff do none of the things we ask those who sit under our leadership to do. unless it is directly related to our career as ministers, we seldom are sharing jesus with others, we seldom look for accountability, we seldom are involved in any ministry that would bring us into community.
yet, we talk down to others who fall from grace as it were, who did not have the checks and ballances we tell our people to have (or us for that matter), look with pity on those who fail to reach the stature we have.
these rambelings come from a frustration in my own life for my own lack of passion for the kingdom of jesus. how dare me not be involved in a life or people around me outside my job.
come now...let us return to the lord. though we are as scarlet, he shall make us white as snow.
stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way is, and walk in it;
and you will find rest for your souls.
it seems that the further we get from the cross of jesus (in time and focus), the further we are away from the actual teachings of Jesus, the further removed we are from ancient, the more willing we become to dilute and demean the gospels and scripture over all. sometimes i place on scripture what it does not place on itself...but it is a guide, a plum line, a cornerstone to hold as examples, doctirne and surity.
i have noticed as i read certain writings that a great deal talk about the acceptance of sin as hang ups and lifestyles, there exists a double standard of sorts. but the same people will write of an all encompassing love that makes it ok as long as you just love. at the same time any one who tries to dialogue about scripture, they are demeaned and dismissed as lacking in gnosis. like they have been enlightened. so love can't be there starting point...it must be agenda.
as we all know this is nothing new. for thousands of years people have rose from the ashes of orthodoxy and stated that the early fathers of the faith had it wrong. if they were influential, they were not at all right in their thinking.
we now have the benefit of hindsight, but we are as blind as ever.
most of the discussion comes at the thought of the american doctrine of ease and non confrontation. live and let live. don't judge, jesus did not so we should not. we are not allowed to stand against any teaching on love because to do so states that you are not loving.
we twist and manipulates words found not only in scripture, but make op thoughts and schemes to justify our own desire to be accepting for all BUT those who would be attempting to live in accordance with the morals found in scripture.
the sad thing is that it will get worse.
within 20 years the american church will lose it's non profit status. ministers who are now supported by the gifts of their congregation will become forced to hold jobs and preach. we should lose 75% of pastors then. members will stop giving when it does not become a tax issue.
people by the thousands will be rocked by some event that will send the membership fleeing from our churches because their faith will be thought to be proved wrong.
we will loses our influence in government. which will be a blessing, and then our faith will cease to be a political party, only to come to the realization that we have been whores since the days of Constantine
we will be forced back underground where we belong. returning to a movement that rises up to effect real change. not from the glorious houses of worship we now sit in, but from street corners and in ally ways and inner cities. not from the halls of government, but inside the skin suit.
our hope is only found in jesus christ. not the made up jesus we are hearing about, but the ugly one who was hung on a stick for the glory of his father.
we must conform to him as told in the old and new testaments, not our american version we have made into a cross between a rock star, a psycologist and mother teresa. we cannot pick and choose what we shall believe just to justify our sin and unwillingness to live in holiness.
our churches are filled with men whose egos are larger than the buildings in which they sit. the majority of us who serve on staff do none of the things we ask those who sit under our leadership to do. unless it is directly related to our career as ministers, we seldom are sharing jesus with others, we seldom look for accountability, we seldom are involved in any ministry that would bring us into community.
yet, we talk down to others who fall from grace as it were, who did not have the checks and ballances we tell our people to have (or us for that matter), look with pity on those who fail to reach the stature we have.
these rambelings come from a frustration in my own life for my own lack of passion for the kingdom of jesus. how dare me not be involved in a life or people around me outside my job.
come now...let us return to the lord. though we are as scarlet, he shall make us white as snow.
stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way is, and walk in it;
and you will find rest for your souls.
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