when in doubt...ride it out.

went to see a brother yesterday. great visit. workin on a vision from the one who gives them. got some feed back, talked about some issues, enjoyed the company.

more confident now than ever.

the ride up 3hrs. the ride back 3 hrs.

just enough time to think it through and work it out.

this is my baby. i call her "rosalee". she has a menacing look about her. i am truly smitten.

we worked it out on a clear cool day at 75-85mph on Florida's Turnpike.

Jesus knows where i live. he reminded me this week that there is plenty to do, plenty to reach and plenty ways to do it. he reminded me this week that he is constantly encouraging his children. and when we make him the focus of life, he really will give us the desire of our heart. which in this case is more of him.

meet rosalee.

aint she a beauty?

she and i will be doing some pretty cool stuff in months to come.

God is not slack regarding his promises...

throw away kids

i have spent the last few days observing our judicial system at work.

seldom have i been so discouraged and hopeful at the same time.

kids are cycled in and out of the juvenile system like cattle. parents watch with confusion and anger. hurt and fear. sadness and hopelessness.

i have watched as kids are charged with beating their parents (14 years old), charged with theft, assault (13), drug possesion and dealing (15), aggrivated sex with a child under 12 (16), run aways, just to name a few.

families have lost their kids becasue of addiction, safety issues and pure meanness. one family lost their 2 kids to the state by default. just by not showing up for a hearing...they forfieted their kids like a team loses a game with out enough players. forfeit. you lose. time out. do not pass go.

in my heart their has come to rest a realization of a world most people does not know exists. kids of lower status that are fringe at best, but mostly unseen and un heard. the only noise that is heard is the siren.

a face has been put with the mindless crime that sweeps across our world each day. even in the debauchery that has come from this child and the anger towards him that rises up...i still see a child. a child who needs christ. needs love and needs to know that even in this...his life can matter.

it is so easy to sweep these under the rug. after a while, the pile would eventually wear down.

can we truly be followers of jesus if we only love the lovely? can we be true believers if all we choose to do is help the poor and not the criminal? how does one love the so easily hated becasue of crime? what does it mean to love a child who will not see the light of freedom untill his 22 birthday? even then, his father will most likely be dead.

the sadness that grips my heart and brings tears to my eyes is trumped by hope.

hope that the bride is here. as slow as she may be at times, she shows the way to life. as shallow as she can be, there is always a light on. as easily as she is prostituted out for acceptance, she is here. reflecting her groom.

as difficult as it is to look in this kids eyes and tell him there is an end to his suffering, i can look in his victims eyes and tell her there is hope...there is an end to suffering. because of her...the bride...becasue of the groom.

the paradox of this great love demands that their be a face to look into.

for with out a face to look into, with out eyes to peer into, disposable children become our justification for an ineffective faith.

what we do with the throw away kids reflects what we really think about jesus. how we show mercy to the least of these tells us a lot about what we really believe.

as uncomfortable as it is, a kid who is a sexual deviant is in need of salvation...no less or no more than me.

no one knows the life that is lived behind closed doors away from people...away from church...away from life...away from hope...away from the cross.

away from the cross.

even now i am trying to walk this line that has become so blurred.

the line

I keep a Close Watch on This Heart Of Mine
I Keep my Eyes wide open all The Time
I Keep The Ends Out for The Tie That Binds
Because your Mine
I Walk The Line

I Find It Very Very Easy To Be True
I Find Myself Alone When The Day Is Through
Yes, I'll Admit That I'm A fool For You
Because Your Mine I walk The Line
As Sure as Night Is Dark And Day Is Light
I Keep You On My Mind Both Day And Night
And Happiness I've Known Proves That It's Right
Because Your Mine I Walk The Line

You've Got A Way To Keep Me On your Side
You Give Me Cause For Love That I Can't Hide
For You I Know I'd Even Try To Turn The Tide
Because Your Mine I Walk The Line

I Keep A Close Watch On This Heart Of Mine
I Keep My Eyes Wide Open All The Time
I Keep The Ends Out For The Tie That Binds
Because Your Mine I Walk The Line





there is a line.





most of the time we are not close enough to see it but it is there.





our words may not mention it but it is there.





we walk it so easily, make mention of it in our prayers. all the while, we fear it.





as long as the issue is nameless, as long as the perpetrator is faceless all is well.





the line is huge now. names and faces are all along it. familiar faces.





i remember jesus writing some stuff on a line in the sand. the harlotte was not behind bars though. she was with him.





is this different?





how can I stand on one side and talk across to the other? do i encourage others to do the same.





truth is, sooner or later, all this becomes a memory. sometimes a purposeful memory. we want it to fade away...quitely.





the line.





johnny walked it in one way.





i struggle to walk it here.





for his sake and mine.

The least of these?

"Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; yet in evil be infants, but in your thinking be mature." 1 Cor 14:20

I walked up to the door, pushed the button. I was asked my name and my purpose. "enter and have a seat. some one will be with you shortly."

20 min later I was escorted to the cafeteria. stainless steel tables. no pictures on the wall. a broken clock.

another 20 min and there he was. dressed in the county issued jumpsuit. sad. hopeless. helpless. ashamed.

I woke up early yesterday with a feeling in my gut that something was gonna happen. even though i did not know what, I knew it would be bad. prayed up...for everyone who came to mind. my family, students, friends, whoever.

the feeling stayed with me all day.

I got the news around 2.

it is worse that i could have imagined. this kids life as he knew it is over. the likely scenario is he will not be free for many years.

be infants in evil.

this kid is about 1/2 a bubble off. just not right. but he is faithful. always here and always part. there is no way i would have ever thought what was going on.

simple. that is how my dad would have described him. surely, this one is an infant in evil.

there are certain things kids should not know about. yet, their minds are at ease with evil. thoughts turn into actions. now the opposite is true. infants in mature thinking, mature in evil.

the truth is the kid is guilty. simple or not. we have no place for those who did what he did. how can we?

as i looked in his eyes, there was no reality of his situation. shame yes, but manily cause he got caught. no real understanding of what lies ahead.

we talked about when he gave his life to Christ. he smiled. I reminded him about his security in that. he was not alone.

i told him even though his sin was deplorable, I loved him and would not turn my back on him.

we chatted for a bit. I prayed over him. he returned to his cell. I was escorted out.

i pushed the button again. name? Jeff leaving. he was staying.

i sat on my motorcycle for a bit and tears welled up in my eyes. and that feeling was back. it was as if he slipped out of my hands and off a cliff and I was watching him fall...unable to do anything but watch.

what is this grace? how can we ignore so great a salvation?

i have, in my life, used love as a form of currency (blue like jazz) giving out with great generosity to those who had earned it, being stingy and mizerly with those who did not.

Matthew 25:40 The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'

i am not al all confident in how to handle this. mom died 2 years ago. dad is a drunk. his childhood, if that is what it was, is over. juvenile detention and most likely jail is certain.

I should have hugged him.

he is no longer an infant in regards to evil. he lives there now.

livin some one elses dream...

went for a ride yesterday. and the day before. and again today. when the sun shines...i ride. when it is cloudy, i ride.

but alas...i digress.

something happens to my soul when i ride. freedom, excitement, giddyness. there is no other activity i am involved in that stimulates all my senses like this...well maybe just one. after all, I am not an idiot.

I am behind some traffic and begin to pull out to pass. up to about 90 or so when i notice a thumbs up sign from a bmw I pass.

I look over and see the same look i had last year. i remember all the years of want and desire of riding and realized that i had become what i dreamed of for so long. now i was the guy who was living anothers dream.

now when i hear the rumble of the pipes, it is not a want but an understanding.

i looked again and saw a smile on the guys face as he showed me the thumbs up. i looked at him and thought "yea, I know. and yes, it is as good as you think."

lost in that moment and well over 100 mph i realize just for a moment that god has blessed me with a gift. an answer to a long prayer.

some would say what ever. but i say every good thing comes from above.

so today, i revel in his gifts. and i thank him for the opportunity to see his creation with 2 fists in the wind.

“Make friends for yourselves with unrighteous mammon that they might receive you into eternal habitations.”

funny. something i always wanted, can be used for reaching others.

is this some one elses dream...or mine?