the upgrade

we had the opportunity to take a few days off this week. in desperate need of some chill time after the craziness of summer. i love youth minsitry, but the older i get, the more i need to unload.

time is being marked these days by a sense of excitement of the coming change. i feel it in the air, i can smell the aroma of rain. i breathe it in deep, hold it, enjoy the moment and exhale.

we went to the beach. 4 miles from our home. had a gift cert for a night on the beach in the Marriott. got there, got a huge upgrade. an extra free night, and a move to the presidential suite. water side private balcony and swank by the pound. it was nice, needed, and seen as what it was...a gift from my father. every moment was enjoyed and treasured as such.

i realized something about my walk with our father. most of my life with him, i have settled for a ground floor life. nominally dealing with attitudes, trying to get by, typical ups and downs...you know, basic American faith. i had actually began to believe that God existed to make much of me.

there had to be more to God than just giving me a beter life. that seemed a bit one sided.

i asked for an upgrade a few months ago.

i did not ask for penthouse faith, riches, wisdom, a big house or comfort. i asked for him. all he had to give. i had got to the point where nothing else would do. not the gifts, but the giver. not the blessings, but the blesser. a real moses moment. show me your glory? that is not a prayer that should be take lightly.

since then the most amazing transformation has take place.

in my mind at night is him. in my mind when i wake...him. songs rise up from my soul, prayers are not ceasing, concern grows, love immeasurable, contentment in his mercy...and hunger. my time in the word has consumed an hour or more a day.

visions for ministry that had me paralyzed me with fear have now become a desire of passion.

for those words were heavy, piercing and confirming. challenging and encouraging.

the future is bright with opportunity.
the opportunity to trust his provision.
the opportunity to experience true holiness, face down trembeling in his presence.
the opportunity to wait for his movement and not mine.
the opportunity to walk with him and know him.
the opportunity to live a legacy.
the opportunity to live out side the norm.
the opportunity to be driven by his wishes and carried to his bosom.

upgrade?

yes.