grandkids, marriage and adventure.

i am sitting at the Orlando airport waiting to board to go and see my baby. we have ben married for 27 years now. we have never been apart as much as we have been lately. since March 20, we have spent 3 days together. not good.

during the past month, i have missed my wife, seen my kids and grandkids, welcomed into the family our newest grandson, Porter, and put 3000 miles on my bike.

all in preperation for next week. May 5, my 46th birthday, i leave for California. into the great wide open. for a 6 week raod trip to head back to the wilderness from which i was created.

into the wild.

trusting God daily for sustanance, for ministry opportunities, for direction and results.

hard core old school road trip.

i will leave Vero Beach Monday, touch the water, and head to Lake Tahoe. after setteling there i will head over to the pacific to touch that.

each day i will post a video about the day.

pray for me.

i am stoked. i am ready. i am bored.

You can't go home...or can you?

riding in the other day, there was a coolness in the air. spring hits hard here. everything is green and the fragrance of blossoms and cattle fill the air.

it is like i came home this week.

back to where we stepped out in faith for the first time.

back to when we followed God because we had no choice. He either came through or we were gonna not make it. he did. we did.

back to the first ministry position. where i was taught to love and treasure the word, the body.

funny how far we wander. away from the foundations that were laid. away from things that never go out of date. away from simplicity away from who we are.

what is even funnier is where we wander to. toward philosophy and theory. toward newness based on a false premise. toward self satisfaction, self appreciation and complication.

when i started this blog a few years ago, i realized that this was the beginning of a journey.

now, it seems this journey has led me back home. back to the beginning.

there is so much to unpack now that i am here. i have tried to rush this process, but God wont let me. so i take out one item at a time, look at it and lay it down, or put it in the keep pile. there are some things that i packed early on that i still need. stuff i packed when i left here. i will carry it with me when i leave.

i am not a big fan of spending time going over and over things in the past. most of the time it is just better to move on. but sometimes...sometimes, it is good to journey back to where it all started. reset the compass, kill some stuff, and remember.

tomorrow night i will speak to the youth group at the church i served in when i started out 13 years ago.

funny. there is no wondering about what to talk about. just like there was no wondering about what to say then...

wont be here much longer. but...

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine

Staying home to watch the rain

And you are young and life is long

And there is time to kill today

And then one day you find Ten years have got behind you

No one told you when to run

You missed the starting gun And you run,

and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

Racing around to come up behind you again

The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter Never seem to find the time

Plans that either come to nought

Or half a page of scribbled lines

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way

The time is gone The song is over Thought I'd something more to say

Home, home again I like to be here when I can

When I come home cold and tired

It's good to warm my bones beside the fire

Far away across the field

The tolling of the iron bell Calls the faithful to their knees

To hear the softly spoken magic spells...Pink Floyd

beginings...kinda

been a while. not sure why, and not sure if i can do all that has happened justice here.

started the month chillin. tried to get my head and heart around what we were about to undertake. thought it may do me well to detox...but needing to detox meant that there was something there i did not need. wrong use of words. i did not need to detox. what i needed was focus.

what has happened has been a redirecting.

relationships have been strengthened and affirmed. vision has been expanded. freedom has moved in to my neighborhood. bags have been set down.

been with my mother, both my kids and my wife. traveled over 2500 miles by air and on my bike. 1500 on my bike alone. spent time with prince Jackson, princess Ava, and will meet and crown prince Porter as he arrives in a week or 2. my heart is full and filled with wonder.

today i worshipped at the first church i served in. where it all started. i am still amazed at the dignity the Pastor still holds. the office here is respected and honored. not so in some places. stories i heard in NC left me sad at how people treat ministers.

after a week in Charlotte, it is still difficult to unpack all that was shown me and taught me. L has been gifted with the ability to deal with issues we seldom talk about. the fervor in which the job at hand was tackled was amazing to watch, and more than amazing to experience. i am a different man now than i was.

i have learned that there are few activities i enjoy more than dialogue with friends and a good cigar. both were enjoyed this week. not only enjoyed but ear marked as one of the best.

i have realized that my wife is my right arm. i miss her dearly. this time is difficult, but will be over soon.

i leave for California the first week of May.

it's on now.

so it begins...

it is no easy thing to leave what you know and move into something you do not. even now, i wonder how the service went, life and minisrty going on with out me. it is a bizzare feeling.

i spent the day in the woods, fasting, praying, listening. i call it my big detox.

as much as i have loved my carreer in student ministries over the last 13 years, i must move from that thought process into another.

tommorrow will be much of the same.

one month from now we will officially launch www.primalfaith.org

as the holy spirit cleanses my mind and heart, prepares me for the road, deals with left over stuff, kills attitudes, and delivers me from my self, i am submitted to what ever, where ever, when ever God would send me.

so it begins...