A couple of weeks ago, I met some friends at a concert. We hung out for a few hours caught up on good conversation and went to see Journey. Lots of memories with that band. Several songs became favorites of mine and Sheri's through the years. Smoked mucho weed in HS listening to them.
there was a group of early twenty somethings who were apparently drunk for the first time a few rows down. Loud, rowdy, drinking and smoking weed. Memories of days gone by made me smile as we all got a kick from their foolery. A good time was had by all.
they new all the words to all the old Journey stuff. It kind of freaked me out. It made me realize something. Although my musical tastes differ from the mood I am in, good rock and roll is still my mantra. It amazed me how ten thoudand people could worship in such a way and not know that is what they were doing.
music touches our soul. Helps us deal with pain, gets us through situations and often brightens our day. Spring time Stevie Ray with the windows down sends chills down my spine just thinking about it. I am glad God gave us Rock and Roll. From Motown to Nickel Creek, it moves me. Lightens my day. Relaxes me.
My reality has been clear over the last few months. As I grow older, so do my children. Not good for me. The reality of parenthood is this...Our kids grow and move into their own lives and their own families. There is a point in all this where we (me) are not primary. While that is not bad, it is definitely weird. Letting go of one is more difficult. I have spent a great deal of time through the years letting her know she is safe. Encouraged her to live outloud, but knowing there was always a safety net. Not sure I like this crossroad.
I dig my wife. She is more to me now than ever. It is cool to look back and see we made it through the tough times. Was not easy, but now well worth it. I am not who I am with out her. She is as important to me than breath. We will be funny together as we get older. I can see it now. Walking , or me wandering through wal-mart and her having to herd me down the aisle, or keep telling me which way to go. But...That happens now. I am glad she is my wife.
I have had few dear friends in my life. The guys I hung out with are among those who I call friends. It is a comforting thing to know that there are guys like this in my life. Conversation about the reality of faith, and the freedom to look and make a call with out the fear of being hung out to dry. Thanks bro's. Got one friend I have never met. Conversations over the phone and a soul connection quickened that. Who knows what lies ahead with that.
I am drawing closer to returning to the fold. The opportunity to teach again has me more than ready. It has been too long. It is time to get back into the game. The self imposed exile is over. It was never as bad as I had thought. I was more idealistic that I should have been.
but we all were. I hung out with several other guys who were doing the same stuff I was. We spoke for hours of the ills of the Bride. Funny, now none of us are in the Church now. I call this time my Post Modern menopause.
life seldom turns out like I expect. Bobbing and weaving like a boxer in a title bout has become part of the deal. Take a punch, deal with it. Fall down, get up, or better yet, let your friends help you up.
"from the foundation of the world."
8.31.2005
This is who we are
As I sit and try and get my head and heart around the devastation that has come to our land, sadness grips me. Unable to understand, just like the recent Tsunami's. The only thing that is certain is Him who reigns on high. May He grant mercy during this time.
as the news coverage shows us the horror of the destruction, there are clear pictures of our humanity. Helpless, people are wandering down interstate hiways, clinging to roof tops, and reaching for anything to hold on to. In desperate need of rescue. Some one to point the way, give instruction, show mercy, reach out and offer a hand. Wandering around as if confused, lost with no home, no direction, in shock. Gone. Everything gone.
this is who we are.
sinking into the depths of depravity, some are looting gun stores and clothing stores and jewelry stores. Belongings. In the middle of a flood zone.
this is who we are.
rising up from slumber, there are those who risk personal safety to help and rescue others. People they do not know. People who seem like the least of these.
this is who HE is.
I pray that who He is will shine brightly. Where there is nothing, I pray for His Spirit to be provider...Of mercy, need, support, comfort and belonging...But most of all, love.
this is who He is.
as the news coverage shows us the horror of the destruction, there are clear pictures of our humanity. Helpless, people are wandering down interstate hiways, clinging to roof tops, and reaching for anything to hold on to. In desperate need of rescue. Some one to point the way, give instruction, show mercy, reach out and offer a hand. Wandering around as if confused, lost with no home, no direction, in shock. Gone. Everything gone.
this is who we are.
sinking into the depths of depravity, some are looting gun stores and clothing stores and jewelry stores. Belongings. In the middle of a flood zone.
this is who we are.
rising up from slumber, there are those who risk personal safety to help and rescue others. People they do not know. People who seem like the least of these.
this is who HE is.
I pray that who He is will shine brightly. Where there is nothing, I pray for His Spirit to be provider...Of mercy, need, support, comfort and belonging...But most of all, love.
this is who He is.
8.22.2005
Identity
I had to fire a guy on Friday. It was the first time. It has been with me all weekend and still there is a gnawing in my gut. Nothing personal, it just had to be done. I did not like it. I hope I always feel this way when I have to make such a hard decision.
Part of why it was so hard is this...Men have the problem of being known and having their self worth determined by what they do. Their job. It becomes such a part of them, me, that there is no separation between the job and the rest of their lives. I can say this with all conviction.
for almost 10 years, my career was Student Ministry. I lived to speak to students. It was my passion and desire. I used to tell folks I felt most complete when I was speaking, or preaching. I have since learned thjat is not the case. But not doing that anymore has left a void in my life I did not expect. Although I am starting to see otherwise, the desire is still there.
This week end, Sheri and I spent 4 glorious days with our grandson Jackson. As usual, he has taught me something. something from God.
It did not matter to Jackson what I had done. He did not know me as a great communicator of the Gospel, nor did he know me as a man of great passion for the Word. It did not cross his mind that I had been employed at 2 huge churches. He just knew me as pop pop.
when he saw me, he would light up and say pop pop. He knew me for who I was, not what I did. All week end, it was the same. pop pop.
I had tried to tell him all the great things I had done. About all the students I had spoken to. About all the conferences I had been to, all the revivals I had done, and all the emerging church books I had read. And how I was really able to tell him the wave of the future in ministry and church life.
all I got was pop pop.
and you know what. That is all I really need. And finally, it is all I want.
I am not a player in the emerging scene. Not a player in big time student ministry, or even in life.
I am daddy to my little girl, old man to my son, crazy to his wife, just Jeff to others, sweetie to the love of my life...And pop pop to a 15 month old theologian.
I am cool with that.
8.04.2005
The most dangerous Thing...
I saw this on a movie preview. It smaks of thought...
"The most dangerous thing is...More."
more what?
lets explore that.
being the pious type, I, of course, would say more of God. But that in it self is wrong. For we all know God gives us all we can handle. We do not need, nor could we handle more of God. ifwe lack knowledge it is our fault, not His. If we lack intimacy, it is our fqault, not His.
the issue here is God getting more of us. And the danger in that is us loosing our thought of self preservation. The danger of God having more of us comes when we die. Jim Elliot once said, "I prayed a strange prayer today. I prayed God would magnify Himself in me to the utmost, or slay me. By His grace I will not have His second best."
the danger in that is Jim dies a few years later in Ecuador trying to reach the Auca Indians.
the danger in God having more of us is seen in John the Baptist decreasing attitude toward himself. He dies in prison while Jesus is ministering a few miles away.
the danger is seeing God as He is. Moses did. Or at least he tried. Ended up face down in the dirt.
the danger is in understanding God will kill His children to further His kingdom. Ask Stephen.
Today we want to let people see how loving God is. And this is true. After all, it is "His kindness that leads us to repentance."
Hebrews 10:31
"It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God."
Let us not forget that with great love, there is great holiness. We trifle with that as if God was Santa. Many men have tried to trifle with God. It did not work then, it will not work now.
in an age of "let's all just get along", let us remember our place. And His place.
thoughts about Faith and other stuff from South East FL
"The most dangerous thing is...More."
more what?
lets explore that.
being the pious type, I, of course, would say more of God. But that in it self is wrong. For we all know God gives us all we can handle. We do not need, nor could we handle more of God. ifwe lack knowledge it is our fault, not His. If we lack intimacy, it is our fqault, not His.
the issue here is God getting more of us. And the danger in that is us loosing our thought of self preservation. The danger of God having more of us comes when we die. Jim Elliot once said, "I prayed a strange prayer today. I prayed God would magnify Himself in me to the utmost, or slay me. By His grace I will not have His second best."
the danger in that is Jim dies a few years later in Ecuador trying to reach the Auca Indians.
the danger in God having more of us is seen in John the Baptist decreasing attitude toward himself. He dies in prison while Jesus is ministering a few miles away.
the danger is seeing God as He is. Moses did. Or at least he tried. Ended up face down in the dirt.
the danger is in understanding God will kill His children to further His kingdom. Ask Stephen.
Today we want to let people see how loving God is. And this is true. After all, it is "His kindness that leads us to repentance."
Hebrews 10:31
"It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God."
Let us not forget that with great love, there is great holiness. We trifle with that as if God was Santa. Many men have tried to trifle with God. It did not work then, it will not work now.
in an age of "let's all just get along", let us remember our place. And His place.
thoughts about Faith and other stuff from South East FL
8.01.2005
Re-thinking how we do Church
The following was written by Ross King on Jan 8 2004. it is long, but well worth the read.
REASONS TO (perhaps) RETHINK YOUR church SITUATION:
If you judge your community of faith primarily by the preaching and the music on Sunday morning, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church.(1 Corinthians 1-3, esp. 1:17, 2:3-5, 3:4-15, and 4:6-7)
If the whole of your involvement is from 10 to 12 on Sundays, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church. (Acts 2:42-47 and4:33-35)
If you are a member (or whatever you call it at your particular faith community) of your church and you've never actually had a real conversation with the primary ("senior") pastor, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church.(see above)
If the teaching pastor of your church has become an across-the-nation celebrity, be careful. That's all I'm going to say about that one. Be careful. Oh, and pray for him. His job (and his responsibility) will get tougher as he gets more famous and in-demand. (James 3:1, Matthew 23)
If any of your pastors drive $60,000 cars (an admittedly ambiguous, but certainly not unfair figure), you might want to rethink the way you're doing church. (1 Timothy 6:3-21, 1 John 3:16-18, 1 Thessalonians 2:6-9, Luke 6:20-24)
If you’ve known your pastor for a significant period of time (an intentionally ambiguous phrasing) and you’ve never heard him admit that he is wrong or was ever wrong, you might want to rethink the way you’re doing church.
If you find that you're consistently criticizing your church and/or its leadership, but you never lovingly share those frustrations with your pastors, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church. (Acts 2:42, 1 Timothy 4:1-6, 2 Timothy 2:23-26 and 4:2-5, Titus 2 and 3, Ephesians 4:25-32 and 5:21, Matthew 5:23-25)
If you find that you're consistently criticizing your church and/or its leadership, and you have lovingly shared those frustrations with your pastors, but nothing has changed and you're still frustrated, what are you doing there in the first place? And don't give me that "God has called me to this church to help get it straight" business. That's a crock, and you are part of the problem, not part of the solution. You're probably driving your pastor crazy. You're probably in sin. If you want to change a church, pastor it. Or at least, pray for it. Serve it. Love it. But don't pester it. (same passages as above, plus Psalm 133, Colossians 2:1-5, 1 Corinthians 1:10-13, 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4)
If none of your closest friends are part of your church, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church.(same passages as above)
If you don't trust your pastor(s), or if you are always suspicious of their actions and/or words, please rethink the way you are doing church.(same passages as the last three, not to mention Romans 13)
If your pastor consistently gives cheap tips (or, God forbid, plan-of-salvation tracts instead of tips) to waiters and waitresses, you might want to rethink the way you’re doing church. By the same token, if your pastor is always trying to get a cheap deal, you might want to rethink. There’s a difference between stewardship and stingy-ness. (1 Timothy 6, Jeremiah 22:13-14, Isaiah 58:1-7)
If you don't consistently, sacrificially give money to your church, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church. (Matthew 6, 2 Corinthians 8)
If your church has a congregation-wide vote to make all of its major decisions, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church.
If your pastor’s teaching/living never confuses or frustrates you, you might want to rethink the way you’re doing church.(John 6, Luke 6:22-26)
If your church is so big that you begin to see the Acts 2 model as impossible, impractical, or irrelevant, you might want to rethink the way you’re doing church.
I think that’s enough for now. As always, dialogue is welcome. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I hope to provide you with a few questions that I think deserve a Spirit-filled, biblical answer. And I realize that it's difficult to find a church home that really fulfills the biblical mandates as you understand them. I feel very blessed to be in a church situation where the leadership and membership are honestly seeking the Truth. I pray the same for all of God's children. Blessings!
1/8/2004
REASONS TO (perhaps) RETHINK YOUR church SITUATION:
If you judge your community of faith primarily by the preaching and the music on Sunday morning, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church.(1 Corinthians 1-3, esp. 1:17, 2:3-5, 3:4-15, and 4:6-7)
If the whole of your involvement is from 10 to 12 on Sundays, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church. (Acts 2:42-47 and4:33-35)
If you are a member (or whatever you call it at your particular faith community) of your church and you've never actually had a real conversation with the primary ("senior") pastor, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church.(see above)
If the teaching pastor of your church has become an across-the-nation celebrity, be careful. That's all I'm going to say about that one. Be careful. Oh, and pray for him. His job (and his responsibility) will get tougher as he gets more famous and in-demand. (James 3:1, Matthew 23)
If any of your pastors drive $60,000 cars (an admittedly ambiguous, but certainly not unfair figure), you might want to rethink the way you're doing church. (1 Timothy 6:3-21, 1 John 3:16-18, 1 Thessalonians 2:6-9, Luke 6:20-24)
If you’ve known your pastor for a significant period of time (an intentionally ambiguous phrasing) and you’ve never heard him admit that he is wrong or was ever wrong, you might want to rethink the way you’re doing church.
If you find that you're consistently criticizing your church and/or its leadership, but you never lovingly share those frustrations with your pastors, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church. (Acts 2:42, 1 Timothy 4:1-6, 2 Timothy 2:23-26 and 4:2-5, Titus 2 and 3, Ephesians 4:25-32 and 5:21, Matthew 5:23-25)
If you find that you're consistently criticizing your church and/or its leadership, and you have lovingly shared those frustrations with your pastors, but nothing has changed and you're still frustrated, what are you doing there in the first place? And don't give me that "God has called me to this church to help get it straight" business. That's a crock, and you are part of the problem, not part of the solution. You're probably driving your pastor crazy. You're probably in sin. If you want to change a church, pastor it. Or at least, pray for it. Serve it. Love it. But don't pester it. (same passages as above, plus Psalm 133, Colossians 2:1-5, 1 Corinthians 1:10-13, 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4)
If none of your closest friends are part of your church, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church.(same passages as above)
If you don't trust your pastor(s), or if you are always suspicious of their actions and/or words, please rethink the way you are doing church.(same passages as the last three, not to mention Romans 13)
If your pastor consistently gives cheap tips (or, God forbid, plan-of-salvation tracts instead of tips) to waiters and waitresses, you might want to rethink the way you’re doing church. By the same token, if your pastor is always trying to get a cheap deal, you might want to rethink. There’s a difference between stewardship and stingy-ness. (1 Timothy 6, Jeremiah 22:13-14, Isaiah 58:1-7)
If you don't consistently, sacrificially give money to your church, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church. (Matthew 6, 2 Corinthians 8)
If your church has a congregation-wide vote to make all of its major decisions, you might want to rethink the way you're doing church.
If your pastor’s teaching/living never confuses or frustrates you, you might want to rethink the way you’re doing church.(John 6, Luke 6:22-26)
If your church is so big that you begin to see the Acts 2 model as impossible, impractical, or irrelevant, you might want to rethink the way you’re doing church.
I think that’s enough for now. As always, dialogue is welcome. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I hope to provide you with a few questions that I think deserve a Spirit-filled, biblical answer. And I realize that it's difficult to find a church home that really fulfills the biblical mandates as you understand them. I feel very blessed to be in a church situation where the leadership and membership are honestly seeking the Truth. I pray the same for all of God's children. Blessings!
1/8/2004
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