Life together

got an anniversary coming up next week. it is always bitter sweet though. my brother was killed on my brothers anniv and buried on mine. and in the middle...mothers day.

25 years together. 1st 15 were hard years. addiction was the issue. all that mattered was getting high.

I love my wife with all the love Jesus has given me to love another.
there is eternity in her eyes. I love the way she looks at me and smiles. never saw jesus, but I bet sheri looks a lot like him. she sure acts like him.

I like the way she rubs my bald head at night when we are winding down. I love the way she smells.

she has given herself to her kids (still does) in a way that is unselfish and complete. I can only hope they love their children as deeply as she does hers.

I am thankful for being allowed to live with and love such a woman of god.

from eternity past, god chose her. according to scriptsure. from eternity past, god chose me to love her, according to scripture. I know we will not be married in heaven, but I am confident i will look at her and know the wonder that was our life together.

the passion for her is exeeded only by a love for christ. a wild unbridled love that has called me from the deep. a yearning that has caused us to leave everything on several occasions and follow him. for he is a wild lover, and the intimacy i have been allowed to share with him is beyond measure or often times explanation.

he remains in my thoughts and never fails to challenge, push, call, and chastize me on a daily basis. his strong hand of guidance looks different to me than some, but it is he that has shaped me and my thoughts and my desires.

his word comforts me and cuts me. it calls to me and casts me away from my selfishness. he loves me and has on several instances shown me his wrath. I am like peter who longs to be at his feet, but asks that he leave me for fear of what he may require. I am like judas who has betrayed him with word and deed. I am like thomas who is willing to die with him, yet doubts his existance. I am like the woman at the well, spitting out excuses rather than worship. I am the thief on the cross hanging on both sides, asking for deliverance, cursing when it does not happen and seeking a place in paradise. i am the prideful publican in the temple and the wretched sinner calling out in desperate humility. I am the rich young ruler who seeks a pleasant life yet is called to sacrifice.

he is other than. other than my words can do justice. other than earthly. other than explanation. other worldly. other than wonder. other than beauty, yet wonderful to bow before.

he is more than. more than we have been taught. more than a sunday school lesson. more than a sermon. more than a savior. more than a prophet. more than a healer. more than a teacher.

he is all things. he is god. and my love for him comes from a place I cannot find lest he show me the way. it is deep, eternal, full of passion and wonderful to me.

life together.

together with jesus. together with my wife.

oh the depth of riches that belong to our god.