Primal Faith Video

me and my mistress

she tempts me, taunts me with freedom, promising me the wind and authenticity.
she soothes me, offers me ease and tranquility.
she seethes under me as we become one.
she is my mistress.
together we are primal.
she rumbles in my ear, but it is felt in my soul.
she is demanding, but never haughty.
she is a part of me and i part of her.
she is a trophy, the envy of others who see and hear her coming.
her name is Mavis and she is my mistress.

if i have to explain, you would not understand.

what is left to fight for?

this question has reverberated through the halls of my mind lately. i am more and more convinced that the American man has been domesticated, especially in our churches.

we are at our core, primal, original, men. the battles that are left to fight may be different, but make no mistake...we are at war. we have for far to long, allowed culture to dictate who we are and what we stand for. the christian man is not less a man because of his faith, but more so.

the problem is, we have bought into a deception perpetrated by anti family zealots who have decided what the man of God should look like and sound like. the problem is we have forgotten how to stand firm and strong when come against. we have forgotten what it feels like to be on the verge of handing out an ass whipping over full frontal attacks on those we love.

come against me and my family, prepare your self to be dealt with swiftly. i fit into no mold that requires me to be a sweater vest wearing simpleton that has been pushed into a corner and kept quite by Internet porn and secret affairs just to maintain an sense of adventure in my life.

day after day, men are leaving the bride, leaving their bride and their kids in search of something that has seemingly been snatched from them while they slept.

it would be different if we had not already accepted it. no fight was given, no news conference to announce it, it just happened.

no?

as subtle as it is, it screams loudest in the unexpected places.

in our churches, we are simply taking on the medias portrayal of men in our society. we have come to believe that men have checked out and are simply planted on the couch guzzling beer.

while in some cases that may be true, there are scores of us men who are active in the spiritual formation of their kids, who honor their wives as Christ honors the Church, who lead their homes in godliness and respect, who are active parts of their churches and community, who believe that while the world may try to castrate them and put them into a weak and useless mode, so the feminism of our day can be justified...we are here...we do exist. i shall not be made into what i am not.

i am sick of candy ass christian men who stand for nothing and have left all the responsibility of child rearing to children's and youth ministries.

be a man! lead your family, teach your kids, satisfy your wife with passion and leadership, protect her, let her know you have her back and you will always be there.

stand tall. retake that which you have given away. Christianity is not for sissies. be a man!

what is there left to fight for?

our manhood.

lost in it

sitting here looking at empty book shelves, bare walls, boxes full of memories and ministry. this is my office.

Lost in it.

lost in the sadness of an eventual move.
lost in the reality that yet again we are leaving a group of people i love.
lost in fear of being a gypsy.
lost in it.

"i do not understand your ways, but i give you my soul." Rita Springer.

lost in it.

lost in the hope of following Him.
lost in the reality of his great hand leading.
lost in the excitement of newness.
lost in the grace and mercy of the moment.
lost in the presence of the almighty in an empty youth pastors office.
lost in his wonder.
lost in him.
lost in the abiding.
lost in the vine.

lost in it.

movin in for good

most of my faith life, i have treated my time with God like a visit with my grandparents.

i would visit a lot, really enjoy my time, learn a great deal, remember...but eventually, i would go home. go home till the next visit.

i read something yesterday in John 15 about abiding. read something else from a friend about abiding. about moving near. i dig it when he talks to me. when he gives me direction.

all day long, the vision of grabbing my backpack, cause all i need to take with me is what i can carry, and heading out to the mountain. the mountain of God.

tired of the visits. tired of the periphery. tired of the trips. time to move in.

i will get back with you when i get settled.